After marrying, having sex with, and committing domestic abuse against a gigantic bag of weed as Kumar in Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle, actor Kal Penn has become the Associate Director of The White House’s office of Public Liaison. This piece of news gives hope to the millions and MILLIONS of New Jersey stoners out there who are just begging and toiling to acccomplish something this prestigious. It’s clear that one of the reasons the White House wanted Penn is due to his superior work ethic. In addition to his role in the Harold and Kumar series, Penn has also starred as Taj in the Van Wilder series, Superman Returns, and a stint on the TV series 24.
According to Wikipedia:
Penn was born in Montclair and attended Marlboro Middle School and Howell High school in New Jersey. His character on the Princeton, NJ-based show House, Dr. Lawrence Kutner, was recently killed off in order for Penn to begin his work for the White House.
Penn is surely making The Sexy Armpit proud, but I’ll always remember him this way:
It’s obvious that New York has always trumped New Jersey in their bitter rivalry for popularity. Although, in the battle for who’s scummier, smellier, and who has the better strip clubs, it’s usually a pretty close match up. A recent trip to NYC granted me the opportunity to hereby relinquish New Jersey’s contention in this silly grudge once and for all. WE SUBMIT!!!
I went to a bar in Manhattan where I took the risk of using the men’s room. As my tinkle started to trickle down into the urinal, I noticed a familiar title emblazoned on the brownish yellow urinal screen. I was actually paying attention to the urinal screen, so I figured I HAD to be drunk. But I wasn’t and the urinal screen said VAN WILDER! Van Wilder is one of my favorite movies and I doubted this promotional item was from the original Van Wilder, and my deduction was correct. After a close examination (yes folks, I DID make a closer examination…I may have actually made out with the bacteria, fly infested urinal, but I proved I was right)
The ribbon that used to be underneath the title VAN WILDER has worn off. It used to say The Rise of Taj. Regardless, according to IMDB The Rise of Taj went straight to DVD and was released for a short time theatrically on December 1st, 2006 and the DVD went on sale on March 27th, 2007. If my calculations are correct, promotional items for The Rise of Taj were probably put out at least a month ahead of time. I wonder how much longer they’ll leave this sickeningly old thing in there? I always knew NYC bathrooms were disgusting, but keeping that in the urinal for so long has to be violating some sort of health code.
I bet they have no idea that there’s some guy blogging about their urinal screen. Haha…it’s the little things. Secretly writing about their lack of changing their urinal screen really gives me the jollies for some reason. Probably cause I’m a sick fuck.
Perhaps they’re leaving the screen in there for the novelty factor, like an in-joke in a movie? Though the only people who are getting a little “rise” out of it are the people like me who appreciate obscure pop culture references that would’ve otherwise been lost to the ages. Or they’re just trying to be delightfully tacky. Something tells me that the actual DVD of The Rise of Taj will soon be worth as much as this 2-year old promotional urinal screen. I can see it making the ridiculously huge $5 bargain bins at Wal-Mart! Unless the bar owner can prove Justin Timberlake once pissed on it, I’m pretty sure it’s time to retire the Taj screen. DING, DING, DING!! Can we get Michael Buffer over here? HERE IS YOUR WINNER AND NEW INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION OF SCUZZ: NEW YORK CITY!!!