Getting Those Great Adventure Vibes!

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Ever since I was in my teens I had a season pass to Six Flags Great Adventure. I can’t say that every friend of mine was as hell bent on constantly spending their summer days incessantly riding some batshit crazy roller coaster of fury, but there always seemed to be a select few who were brave enough. Brave enough not only for the thrill rides, but also to voluntarily take the trip with me. Some of my friends still tell stories about our trips there ’til this day.

Maybe they reminisce about those crazy times because life was pretty simple then. Aside from the shore and malls, there wasn’t a ton of stuff to do in suburbia. We went swimming in our pools, hung out playing board games, went to the movies, all the standard fare. Compared to that stuff, not living too far away from Great Adventure was like holding a key to an action packed alternate dimension. I’ve written about Great Adventure plenty of times here at The Sexy Armpit, and if you’re from the Tri-State area, you know all about its allure, especially when you’re a teenager. Even if you had to get a little crew of friends together and get dropped off by someone’s parents, the whole experience still made me feel like a wild, reckless adult. A trip with me to Six Flags never lacked controversy, that’s for sure.

A season pass to G.A was like having a VIP laminate to a concert. Once I got my license, that season pass got used anywhere from 10-15 times in a season. That was back when having fun and filling up my summer days with cool shit was basically my job. With the ability to drive my friends and I down there came the opportunity to elevate these excursions to Ferris Bueller levels. I blasted music in the car, exceeded the speed limit by at least…9 miles per hour, and maybe we didn’t eat pancreas, but we inhaled Quick Check subs and chugged Mountain Dew in the parking lot (right before nausea inducing rolling coasters.) It was a tradition for me to get us into a few scrapes on the way down there, and there was usually the inevitable “disagreement” with a line cutter or some other miscreant.

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Some people reminisce about high school. Me? I’ve been reflecting on all the years I’ve been going to G.A. and it’s incredible how many memories I have at this place. Comparatively, I’m proud of what I accomplished in high school, but I wasn’t a fan of it at all. I always wanted to be somewhere else. I knew I was going through the motions. A testament to that is the fact that I met most of my closest friends that I still talk to way before high school. A ton of people go to high school reunions, some gossip about people they graduated with, and some never really let go of that period of their lives. To me, those 4 years can’t hold even the tiniest birthday candle to the immense amount of time I spent through the years at Six Flags Great Adventure. It might sound preposterous, but it’s been part of my entire life. It served as a backdrop for long summer hangouts with friends, and as the pinnacle of romance for a 17 year old kid with a driver’s license and a bring a friend free pass. If you can’t relate to that, I guess you’ve never tried to impress a girl by taking her on The Skyway? Now that’s class! Sure you could tell a girl you were picking her up in an actual CAR, a licensed road vehicle, but when you offer the opportunity to take a leisurely flying wicker seat ride, that gained you a day or two of her adoration. That is, at least until she revealed that she secretly had eyes for a guy on the intramural football team who laughs at all your jokes in 5th period, plus she didn’t really want to hear you gush about what kind of impact A Lonely Place of Dying had on your life. But that’s a whole other 19 paragraph post, isn’t it?

Do you remember the names of all your teachers from high school? I don’t, save for a select few. Did you have a moment from your prom that still gives you the butterflies? I don’t. But, I can tell you that I get choked up just thinking about how I’ll never get to ride The Great American Scream Machine ever again. Of course, I should be more than satisfied that I’ve ridden it literally hundreds of times in its entire 20 year existence. Now that Nitro has turned 15, I’m already worrying that I won’t know how to cope if it ever leaves us. Scream Machine and Nitro are my favorite coasters of all time and I’ve probably spent more time on them than I’ve spent with most of my relatives and that’s saying something since they each last a little over 2 minutes.

Mind you, it wasn’t all “More Flags, More Fun.” A lot of it, the parts we ignore for posterity, kind of sucked – and still do! Take for instance, the often blistering heat, sunburn, sweat, agitation, fatigue, and hunger. Long ride lines were never a good scene, but they usually indicated that the ride was worthwhile. A big chunk of time was spent hanging on the steel railing and saying dumb things with your friends or trying to make our with your then-love interest. It’s easy to suck up those negatives to be enthralled by repeated whip-lashings for 35 seconds, but damn, each one of those seconds makes us feel like all life as we know it could stop instantly and we’d all have abnormally huge smiles with rippling cheeks permanently plastered on our faces. What could be more fun? It makes some people drool. Others vomit. Come to think of it, those peeps probably don’t revere all this nonsense as highly as I do.

By now, you’ve gathered what Great Adventure symbolizes to me. My affinity for the park hasn’t changed, but my trips to Great Adventure have. They aren’t as dangerous. They don’t involve near death experiences on the New Jersey Turnpike (well, most of the time) and they’re a heck of a lot shorter. As an example, I’ll leave you with a summary of our latest Great Adventure excursion.

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Miss Sexy Armpit and I made our way down to Jackson, NJ after work one night last week. Considering they close at 9pm, that didn’t leave us much time. By the time we got down there we had a solid 2 hours and we didn’t plan on wasting it. Traditionally, as long as we get to ride Nitro, we’re happy campers, but this time we rode their newest roller coaster, The Joker! At first, it seemed like it wasn’t running. This was a possibility since the ride broke down shortly after it opened and many riders got stuck. I assumed it was just stopped for repairs, but as we got closer, the ride was indeed operating, so we were in luck. I had every intention of riding it, although Miss Sexy Armpit needed a bit of coercing. She wasn’t fond of the idea that the coaster cars themselves spin around while the coaster was running. This could be extremely vomit inducing for some people. She relented and we hopped right on. The ride turned out to be pretty tame – almost more of a wild Ferris wheel gone haywire. I laughed maniacally the entire time like Cesar Romero, so I can see why they named it, The Joker. We were glad we rode it, although, much like The Dark Knight Coaster, it’s not on my must-ride list.

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Number one on my absolute must-ride list is Nitro. The lines were pretty much non-existent this late in the day, so we got right on without a long wait. After that, I convinced Miss Sexy Armpit to stay on for one more ride. Even though we technically only went on 2 rides, we accomplished our mission.

Then, as always, I checked the DC Hall of Justice store. I’ve mentioned this place before, but to reiterate, this is the ultimate gem of a store that DC Comics fans might want to consider buying admission to the park just to gain access to this shop. It’s not a gigantic store by any means, but it’s about the closest answer to the DC Super Hero section of the old Warner Brothers store in the mall that we may ever have. I didn’t pick anything up this time, mostly because I had something else in mind that I was hoping to find on the way out.

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Last stop was the Main Street Market. For regulars, this is the first shop you see after you make your way through the metal detectors (yes the park has excellent security.) I was asked if I needed help finding anything and in my best Lando Calrissian voice I said, “As a matter of fact you can…” Then, I explained that I had heard about a few Great Adventure t-shirts that had just been released with the vintage logo on them. He had no clue what I was talking about. The poor kid looked at me like I just posed him a question that Einstein couldn’t figure out. Finally, Miss Sexy Armpit dumbed it down for him, “it has like…a rainbow with stars…” “OHHH YEAHHH!” then it dawned on him that we weren’t complete psycho nutjobs after all and actually perfectly normal customers towing the Great Adventure retro t-shirt line.

Before we even got to the park, I had it in the back of my head that I absolutely HAD to get this shirt. Thanks to Miss Sexy Armpit for getting it for me. I’ve always had a major soft spot for the old Great Adventure logo, and years back, I even made a Sexy Armpit parody of it. (Below you can save the Sexy Armpit/Great Adventure iPhone Wallpaper) Perhaps even more coincidentally, I’ve been scoping out actual vintage Great Adventure tees on eBay for such a long time: Check out this ridiculous old post.

What does this all mean? I really don’t know, but maybe it’s just my way of telling you that you should get out of your house and go to your nearest amusement park this summer and maximize your fun! Thanks for reading!

Follow me on Twitter @SexyArmpit and Instagram @SexyArmpit

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Purple Stuff Podcast Episode 29: 1990!

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Fresh off of our insane journey for Ecto Cooler, we’re going back in time again on The Purple Stuff Podcast!

Episode 29 has Matt and I talking about all of our favorite stuff that happened in 1990. Sometimes, as we do the year themed shows, it winds up being either really difficult to come up with a decent list, or super easy. In this case, 1990 was pretty much a breeze, and I can honestly say that we had a lot fun with this episode as we do with most of them.

Join us as we roll through some of the notable movies, TV shows, music videos, and commercials from 26 years ago. It’s got everything from elaborate paper replicas of wooden ships from Super Mario 3 all the way to shaving zig-zags into my head to be like Vanilla Ice. This is one for the books, I’m tellin’ ya!

Thanks to everyone who has listened to the podcast and supported the show. Without everyone enjoying it and interacting with us about it on social media, there’s no point in doing it, so thank you all! As of right now, the best thing you could do to support the show is subscribe on iTunes and leave us a positive review, that would be awesome. In the mean time, enjoy our latest episode at the link above or on iTunes, Stitcher, Podbean, and now the Google Play Store!

Who The F*ck Is Tommy London? The Dirty Pearls Frontman Talks With The Sexy Armpit!

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Tommy London art by Jonny Dambrosio

The Sexy Armpit has always been a little bit comic book geek, a little bit rock and roll. Through over a decade on the Internet, one of the staples featured on the site has been the reigning kings of New York City’s rock scene, The Dirty Pearls. They’ve amassed a monstrous, loyal fan base, tour the country, and even show up at swank clubs to sing and play with the rest of their NYC crew known as The Rivington Rebels, whose legend precedes them. Am I jealous that there’s no Route 9 Rebels? No, because I just invented it, and I’m Master of Ceremonies of the New Jersey Chapter, otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to score this interview! Just ahead of their upcoming tour and forthcoming new album, our friend and lead singer of The Dirty Pearls, Tommy London, took some time out of his busy schedule to answer some of those classic “Jay” questions that I always have.

Continue reading Who The F*ck Is Tommy London? The Dirty Pearls Frontman Talks With The Sexy Armpit!

Purple Stuff Podcast Episode 27: TV THEME SONGS!

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To arrive at their optimum relaxation zone, some people listen to the soothing sprinkle of a rainstorm or the natural sounds of a tropical rain-forest. But, for my ears, there’s something about TV theme songs that I find strangely comforting. Maybe it’s little details like the “sha-la-la-la” at the end of the Family Ties theme or the hum at the end of the Diff’rent Strokes intro that make me have that extra fondness for them. If you consider yourself the same kind of wacko, then you’re reading the right website! This week, the Purple Stuff Podcast brings you a show entirely dedicated to a select bunch of TV theme songs.

To say that my iTunes is quite a hodgepodge of various types of music is an understatement. If you listened to one of my playlists while driving around with me, you’d likely hear one of hundreds of TV theme songs. Chances are, you’d know the lyrics to the majority of them. That’s what makes it fun. You don’t even need to be an avid viewer of a show to have the theme song stuck in your head, which makes the genre that much more incredible. This is one of the reasons why I felt so compelled to convince Matt that we should do a whole show about some of the TV themes that stand out most to us.

After an arm bar into an Irish whip, followed up by a flying forearm, Matt agreed that it was a good idea. I’m kidding of course, but it did take a little bit of convincing since it is so difficult to do a show like this and not be accused of leaving all the important themes out. Everyone has their favorites, but these are just a handful that we felt compelled to talk about. Some of your favorites are ours too, but we’d need 8 episodes to touch on ALL the good ones.

Personally, I think some of the best TV theme songs are the ones that work on different levels. Some TV themes are great for what they are and work splendidly as a theme for a show, yet other TV themes soar beyond that. There are TV themes that are so catchy that you wonder how the hell they haven’t been deemed required curriculum in music classes in schools. Others are so versatile that they could be covered by metal and punk bands. Most of all, the best TV themes are the ones that pop into your brain the minute you hear someone mention the name of the show that it’s from.

I demand equality for TV theme songs. Even though a show’s theme usually undergoes subtle changes between seasons, a TV theme has the power to bring to mind the full reel of scenes in the opening credits. I loved when the opening credits of a show were so ridiculous. You can sit there and pick out the episode that each scene was from. The theme will also make you reminisce and sing along. Some themes are cheerful or quirky while others are arena-ready and triumphant. In all cases, there’s a lot to discuss so check out The Purple Stuff Podcast Episode 27 and share some of your favorite theme songs in the comments!

Purple Stuff Podcast Episode 26: Not Your Average Scares!

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We’ve turned the corner folks. Now that we’re halfway to HALLOWEEN, it’s time to start teasing ourselves with little tastes of that sweet, sweet candy corn. On the new episode of The Purple Stuff Podcast, we do something that’s, well…halfway Halloweeny! Let me tell you more.

An outright Imperial March toward Halloween ain’t gonna happen for a few more months, but there’s no reason we can’t temporarily bask in the spooks and chills of Halloween in the off season. You know you want it.

With all the incredible stuff that is getting released, this episode pairs so well with this moment in time. Think about it. Ghostbusters is back in a big way, on toy shelves, in liquid Ecto Cooler form, marshmallow form, and in the theaters soon. And I can’t forget Mountain Dew Pitch Black which made its way back into our mouths, in not only cans and bottles, but Slurpees again! We’re in a bona fide nostalgic renaissance, and Matt and I are going to talk through it the entire time on The Purple Stuff like annoying jerks in the back of a movie theater.

The premise of this show is to spotlight things that are unexpectedly nightmarish. We’ve dubbed this episode, “Not Your Average Scares,” and it’s a full tank of nightmare fuel. Not to spoil it too much, but you’ll hear about pulse pounded phone calls, eerily loud tones, puppets, dummies, and blue people. Is that not the best sales pitch ever? Shit, I recorded this show with Matt and I want to to listen to it now!

If you’re a Halloween freak like we are, this show will give you that extra jolt that you’ll need to survive until we find ourselves on the true trail to Halloween. We hope you enjoy this one. Only 174 days to go!

*An ENORMOUS thank you to everyone who has made doing The Purple Stuff Podcast worthwhile. Many of you have been respective readers and viewers of both Matt and my exploits through the years and we really appreciate you listening and subscribing.

Purple Stuff Podcast Episode 25: 1992!

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I’m here with 2 good things to tell you. It’s Friday, which you likely already know PLUS we’ve got a new Purple Stuff Podcast for you! This time around, we’re taking you back to when the USA Basketball Dream Team was in full effect, Right Said Fred scored a hit with “I’m Too Sexy,” and WWE Superstar Paige was born. I won’t waste too much time pitching it to you because it’s pretty simple: It’s all about stuff we liked in 1992. Much like our 1986 episode, we discuss movies, TV shows, video games, and all sorts of other random nostalgia from back then. Join us as Matt and I take another trip down memory lane and celebrate what we think is the coolest stuff from ’92. Check it out in the link above, or SUBSCRIBE on iTunes, Stitcher, and Podbean. Thanks for reading and listening! Let us know what your favorite stuff from ’92 was in the comments!

Purple Stuff Podcast Episode 24: Wrestling Memories!

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A very special weekend is upon us: WrestleMania weekend! Not sure what you’ll be up to, but I’ll be drinking and watching WWE related stuff for 3 days straight. The only thing that’s changed since I was a kid is the type of drink that I have in my hand. In honor of the annual of this giant pro-wrestling party, we decided to reminisce about our wrestling memories this week on a no holds barred edition of The Purple Stuff Podcast!

If you’ve listened to The Purple Stuff before, you know that Matt and I are obsessed with wrestling. Both of us got wrapped up in it at an early age and it stuck with us ever since. We’ve never dedicated an entire show to wrestling, but there was no more appropriate time to do it than leading into ‘Mania weekend.

Matt and I go way back to the early ’80s and take you through present day. It’s a virtual tour of the facets of our mind that store WWE Magazine back issues. You don’t have to be a wrestling fan either, but it helps to know the basics. Chances are, you remember Miss Elizabeth, Macho Man, Captain Lou Albano, Bret Hart, and many more! As per usual, we talk about action figures, presents, mishaps, and just plain ludicrous situations that involve wrestling.

To get properly excited for WrestleMania, check this episode out! You can listen at the link above or on iTunes, Stitcher, and Podbean. Thanks for reading and listening and we’ll see you down at ringside!

Purple Stuff Podcast Episode 23: Batman ’89!

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The DC heroes are about to blow up the big screen. Fans of the DCU are in their glory right now. Even though there’s been so many movies based on DC properties, the DC film universe will be ushered in with the premiere of Batman v. Superman. I was out on the black carpet event with Miss Sexy Armpit for the premiere of the film at Radio City Music Hall, and it’s making me count the minutes until I’m in the theater for this. Growing up, World’s Finest comics were always at the top of my list, so I’m extremely excited to see my two favorite heroes on the big screen, and even more pumped to finally see Wonder Woman joining the fray. In light of this major DC Comics event, let’s recall one of the biggest DC Comics movie events of all time, Batman ’89!

Can you imagine living in a world where there wasn’t super hero movies in theaters every 2 months? That’s how things were back in the day. If you were around then, you know what I mean. Super heroes wound up becoming almost taboo to be a fan of. For me, things were doubly worse since I was both a fan of comics AND wrestling…and KISS for that matter. All the cards were stacked against me, but I wore my obsessions proudly, and I’m glad I did, because there was a payoff – a major one. In June of 1989, one of the biggest pop culture phenomenons was released to theaters: Batman.

In modern times, we’ve been spoiled by 8 Batman movies (9 if we count BvS!). The first Batman film in 1966 was an answer to that era’s Batmania hysteria caused by the TV show. In 1989, comic fans and moviegoers came out in full force to show that they were ready to get caught up in their generations Batmania. I was so lucky to be deeply entrenched in Batman my entire childhood, so to experience this kind of fervor for my favorite hero was astounding.

If there was a popularity contest between Bats and Supes, let’s just say, Supermania wasn’t really bandied around too often. That’s not a knock on Superman, but there was something mysterious about the 1989 Batman that made it so easy to fall in love with the film. One of the reasons for this is likely the fact that it was such a dark departure from the over the top, campy colorful fun of the ’60s TV series. If you weren’t reading Batman comics at the time, this was a brand new Batman that brought viewers into new territory. If you watch the film now, it seems pretty light, but in ’89 this was a dark, Noir inspired adventure which was unforgettable to so many who saw it in it’s theatrical run.

If you are a fan of this film, I recommend that you document your love for it. As it is with other forms of entertainment like music and books, the impact that the ’89 Batman movie had on the public may be documented for future generations in news articles, but it’s difficult to capture what kind of a massive Bat-frenzy it actually was. If you walked into a mall in 1989, to say that would’ve noticed over a hundred Bat symbols EVERYWHERE is not an exaggeration. Whether you went into a toy store, music store, or grocery store, Batman was literally everywhere. Two opposing boxes of cereal promoting Batman v. Superman cannot compare to how we were all lovingly swaddled in Batman’s cape with all kinds of goodies. You didn’t even have to be a hardcore Bat-fan to own a t-shirt or magazine that promoted the film.

What amuses me about all these superhero movies that come out, Marvel’s included, is that even though they make bank, we get flooded with them. All they have to be is “good.” Consider this: Will Batman vs. Superman make the same kind of impact that Batman ’89 did? Most likely no. It could wind up becoming the most well-reviewed DC inspired film ever, but I will wager that most Batman films since then did not have the potential to romance fans the way the ’89 film did. This is because on-screen Batman was in a unique spot to reinvent himself and turn the genre into serious business. Looking at this trajectory, you would not have any of the Nolanverse films without Batman 1989. Credit also has to go to Superman ’78 for being the genesis of the modern superhero film, but Batman ’89 had Kim Basinger!

I can write volumes about this movie because of how much I love it, but why not listen to our latest Purple Stuff Podcast where Matt and I talk all about it? In Episode 23, we detail many of our ’89 Batman memories. Matt and I share stories of seeing the film in the theater, the toy line, dressing up, reciting lines, the Prince soundtrack, theme parks and much more. This is our testimonial to what an indelible mark Batman 1989 left on us. If the Joker wrote this post, he may have ended it something like this: “…If you gotta go…go with a Smile!”

Into The Junk Shop, Flyboy!

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I’m telling this story backwards…have I gone MAD?!

As you’ve gathered, the things I do are not very traditional. It’s not like I venture off to golf getaways, weekend wine tastings, or to the batting cages and for beers with the guys (as I pretend to sucker punch you in the stomach like guys do). None of that would ever happen in my life. Even though I’m an actual adult, I do things that bear the ever so slight possibility of being misconstrued as juvenile, but what the hell do I care? One of my recent posts documented my trip to an NXT wrestling event in Asbury Park. If you’ve read that, you know what a blast it was, but I haven’t yet told you about what happened before we got there! Put it this way, it wasn’t your average Friday afternoon. Continue reading Into The Junk Shop, Flyboy!

Purple Stuff Podcast Episode 22: GHOSTBUSTERS!

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Have you experienced feelings of dread in your basement or attic? No, seriously, because I have. But sometimes, shit happens and who are you going to call? The Purple Stuff Podcast, of course!

Ghostbusters has been a gigantic part of my life. If you’re reading this, I’m sure you can relate. I saw the original in the theater when it first came out and I don’t think any movie has had more impact on me. It helped mold my taste in movies. Comedy and horror are my favorites, but mix them together and it doesn’t get any better for me. That combo isn’t for everyone, but I don’t think it’s ever worked better than in the original Ghostbusters film. I am an apologist for the sequel as well. In fact, I have them both memorized, which is pretty sick considering that I probably should’ve used that brain power to do better in math growing up. I considered math knowing the line “But at 19%, you didn’t even bargain with the guy!” Turns out, the Ghostbusters were shit at math too.

Math bad, talking good.

Matt and I are back with a Purple Stuff that will conjure up all kinds of Ghostbusters nostalgia for you. With the trailer for the new Ghostbusters movie, the cans of Ecto Cooler on eBay, and those Key Lime Slime Twinkies all hitting the web, it’s a perfect time to switch on your proton packs and turn up the volume on the stereo in the Ecto-1! In this episode we discuss the movies, the Kenner toy line, and our own personal memories revolving around everything Ghostbusters.

For me, Ghostbusters never faded away. In one form or another, I’ve consistently kept Ghostbusters in my life, and to experience it finally making a huge comeback splatters me with a jolt of positive mood slime. During the times when the boys in gray were having some down time, we Ghostbusters fanatics were still celebrating every little piece of psychokinetic activity that we could. Whether it was the latest video game, comic book, or Krispy Kreme donut, they were all little triumphs that brought us to this big moment.

You can see all kinds of Ghostbusters content here at The Sexy Armpit. Going back many years into the archives, there’s some awesome stuff and some embarrassing stuff. I’ve come a long way with this site, and Ghostbusters has been there with me since the beginning. I’ve managed to throw numerous Ghostbusters references in all of my Halloween Specials as well. It’s a passion of mine. One that I share with Dinosaur Dracula. His obsession with all things Ghostbusters has been well documented since the beginning, especially his love affair with Ecto-Cooler. So, getting to relish in this moment where we can all celebrate our love of Ghostbusters is nothing short of amazing.

This Purple Stuff Podcast is going to bury the needle on your PKE Meter! Unfortunately, we aren’t offering hot beverage thermal mugs and free balloons for the kids, but our show is FREE on iTunes, Stitcher, and Podbean. Thanks for listening! Now, if you’ll excuse me, my girlfriend just called, she said her tub tried to eat her.