NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 120: My Little Jersey Devil

MLJD002JWRIGHTBRAIN’s My Little Jersey Devil T-shirt available at Teepublic

Allow me to drop the knowledge needle on you: The uncle of the creator of My Little Pony is the iconic horror host, John Zacherle! What a regal family to be a part of! I’m sure some of you just spontaneously combusted.

With all the toys I’ve owned throughout my life, I can tell you with the utmost honesty that I’ve never owned a My Little Pony doll. This has nothing to do with them being in the girls aisle of Toys R Us when I was a kid either, because nothing would stop me from crossing over to check out the She-Ra selection, the JEM dolls, and Barbie and the Rockers line. Often, the girls toys and dolls were cooler than the “boy stuff” as I called it back then, and deep down, they occasionally were the cause of built up jealousy inside of me. For instance, those mini plastic kitchens that were all the rage in the early ’80s. I wanted one of those deluxe setups so bad, I didn’t care who knew it. Some of my friends had them and I was always in awe.

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Logically, making a play to my parents for one didn’t make much sense because none of the components like the sink or the refrigerator actually worked, but I loved to pretend and use my imagination so they operated in full force in my mind. One of the deluxe Little Tikes kitchen sets probably cost as much as 30 action figures, so it wasn’t sensible for me, considering my agenda at the time. They seemed so grandiose. Ironic how I actually now own a condo that came complete WITH AN ACTUAL KITCHEN and I would still prefer the Little Tikes version from the ’80s. I rarely cook, but when I do, it should be on a decal of a stove.

On the opposite side of the spectrum, one toy that I was never really jealous of not getting was My Little Pony. I really can’t explain why these delightful multicolored mares never enticed my childhood mind or ever wound up on any wish list I ever made, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t appreciate their coolness. I used to enjoy the cartoon a lot when I was a kid, but it never gave me the impulse to drop other toys from the top of my wish list for them. Whenever I was at the girls houses in the neighborhood, if She-Ra or JEM stuff wasn’t around in their collection, I’d usually opt for the Strawberry Shortcake collection or Rainbow Brite. I assume that my young self didn’t assume that My Little Pony dolls saw a lot of action, but they sure did have some killer color schemes.

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The fact that MLP has become more popular and lucrative in the last few years than it ever was is insane to think about. With the huge male MLP fan base, the Bronies, teenage boys and adult men have created their own cult of MLP fanatics, which has helped skyrockted the property. The MLP craze lead fans to create about a zillion of their own custom My Little Ponies of all varieties too. Chances are, if there’s something you like, whether it’s a sports team, superhero, an obscure dessert, or a horror movie icon, there’s most likely a custom made My Little Pony doll out there based off of it.

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There’s New Jersey based MLP customs out there, but the one presented on this t-shirt is the most inspired I’ve seen. Coming from JWRIGHTBRAIN, the bright, colorful, and original art of My Little Jersey Devil literally leaps off the tee. For obvious reasons, this is now my favorite non-canon MLP character and the one that I would run right out to the store to buy if it were real. It definitely reminds me of Spike the Dragon, my favorite of all the Generation 1 characters. His look, which incorporates Halloween colors, has a little bit in common with the Generation 3 incarnation of Spike the Dragon. Plus, MLP’s always have a tattoo or small design branded on them which is often referred to as a cutie mark and appropriately, his is a devilish trident! Ok, now maybe that deluxe kitchen set will have to wait…

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 119: KISS at Roosevelt Stadium in Jersey City!

Today’s t-shirt memorializes the very KISS stadium concert at Jersey City’s Roosevelt Stadium in 1976! This tee is available at their official page KISSonline.com

Wow, we love demolishing stadiums in this state, don’t we? Roosevelt Stadium in Jersey City was a baseball stadium that opened in 1937 and was demolished in 1985. Sure, it had its share of memorable sporting events and concerts, but one in particular featured my favorite band ever, KISS.

When you think of famed KISS concerts, you may think of Cobo Hall in Detroit, or even Madison Square Garden in New York City, but merely days after America’s Bicentennial 4th of July celebration, on July 10th, 1976, KISS played very first stadium show right in The Sexiest of all Armpits.

Headlining a big baseball stadium was no easy task. The band had to be louder and crazier than the crowd was, and naturally, KISS was up for the task. At the time, they were riding high on what would become their biggest album of all time, Destroyer, so they were properly equipped to blast everyone directly out of the stadium with their mammoth sound and explosions, and that’s exactly what they did.

For non-KISS fans, it’s easy to believe that if you’ve seen one KISS concert, you’ve seen them all, but I’m here to tell you that’s just simply not the case. There was a special kind of magic going on with the early KISS shows. A group of musicians with a wild idea to mix ghastly face paint, elaborate costumes, and an explosive stage show were still in their formative years as a band. Hell, much like some of their other early concerts, the Roosevelt Stadium show was filmed in black and white, lending it an even more macabre atmosphere. B&W is one quality that always intrigued me with early KISS shows and bootlegs, especially knowing that Gene is such a horror movie fanatic.

Many of you have lived through the many incarnations of KISS. For over 40 years now KISS has been evolving their music, their look, and their stage show. To me, nothing beats those early years. Their music was darker and more seedy, their look was more basic, albeit scary. I wasn’t lucky enough to live through their ’70s heyday, but I relived them on my own through VHS bootlegs as a kid. Now, all that footage is on DVD box sets and of course, YouTube! You can see footage from the Roosevelt Stadium show below.

*Opening for KISS at Roosevelt Stadium was The J.Geils Band and Point Blank. It’s a heinous crime that at of the time of this post this show was somehow not included in the notable KISS concert list on Wikipedia. That is totally insane. Someone please fix this!

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pz3Kd3B9Zxg?rel=0&showinfo=0]

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 118: Jolly Voorhees!

It’s not often that I’ll actually model the t-shirt for this column, so savor this moment while it lasts. Earlier today I posted this pic on my Instagram, which you should follow if you haven’t already and I will most likely follow you back as long as you aren’t some fake robo-account, so you can see dumb pics like this that I tend to post. Today’s shirt, The Jolly Voorhees, arrived today in my mailbox and it features a design by a favorite artist of mine from South Jersey, Blair J. Campbell.

Mr. Campbell has created hundreds of awesome designs that you’ve seen on t-shirts and basically all over the Internet. He’s responsible for some of my favorite pop culture mash-ups that run the gamut of cartoons and comics to movies and TV shows.

The Jolly Voorhees is another one of his brilliant fusions. The skull and crossbones is a logo notorious for letting everyone know that whoever has a Jolly Roger flag are usually evil pirates. Mix that with my favorite horror film franchise, Friday the 13th, and it doesn’t get much better than this! This black tee’s graphic depicts Jason Voorhees’ mask with 2 machetes crossed underneath with a dripping red number 13. PLUS, the entire graphic is subtly splattered with blood.

Aside from taking this silly selfie today, I was also excited to see that Jerry Bruckheimer tweeted the first pic of Captain Jack Sparrow from the set of Pirate of the Caribbean 5! On top of all this, it’s T-Shirt Tuesday, so it felt like fate that this all happened all in one day and I just had to tell you all about it.

Check out all of Blair’s other t-shirt designs including his Star Wars Red Five tee in the Top Gun style – it’s a classic! You can see more at his Teepublic shopAND OMG HIS ZIGGY STAR TREK IS INSANELY GOOD!

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 117: NJ Devils Masked Intentions

For a fairly accurate indication of my knowledge of sports, you can just watch The Lonely Island’s “We Like Sportz.”

Upon this admission, it wouldn’t be fair to categorize today’s NJ T-Shirt Tuesday as a sports post. And don’t start fuming if you hate the Devils, this is a New Jersey blog after all, so don’t hold it against me! I don’t even know enough about the NHL landscape this season to offer much in the way of Hockey commentary, besides, you can go to sports blog for that. I will say that I know that the Devils haven’t had the best season, but this t-shirt will make you quickly forget that.

Inclusion of this tee here at The Sexy Armpit was such a no-brainer that it was like scoring an empty net goal. See, I know a little. What I dug about the New Jersey Devils officially licensed “Masked Intentions” t-shirt is that it’s an imposing combo of various things.

First, the mostly white graphic on the plain black tee calls to mind Sons of Anarchy. The overall design of the shirt is reminiscent of the famous Sons logo that has been copied so many times, especially on t-shirts and hoodies up and down the various boardwalks down the shore. The red outline provides the final touch in capturing the Devil’s color scheme while simultaneously adding a demonic quality. Hence, those red eyeballs peering out from the creepy goalie mask could mean that it’s the actual Jersey Devil heading out on the ice, or a goaltending T-800.

At the bottom, one word brings it all together like that damn rug in The Big Lebowski. HALLOWEEN…of course! This must have been a special Halloween edition t-shirt. I’m several months late on this, but sometimes I prefer it that way. It’s like finding buried treasure. Now what do you say we go slap some pucks or something?

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 116: KISS of DEATH!

This post is appropriate of everything since we are approaching both Friday the 13th AND Valentine’s Day.

At this point in February, ordering a last minute gift online for that special someone probably isn’t the best idea. We’re merely days away from Valentine’s Day, so you’ll have to go to Walgreen’s and get the old standby chocolate assortment in a heart lavishly wrapped in cellophane. Having this tee posted several weeks ago would’ve been infintiely more helpful, but there’s always Arbor Day…you’ll definitely have it in time for that. Oh c’mon, I can’t be the only one who exchanges gifts for that.

Being that we’re beyond the online gift ordering cutoff for V-day, you can still get your special person a little something from Rock n Horror Apparel…for Arbor Day!

This online shop makes some kickass stuff. I came across them on Instagram last year. What grabbed me was their Kiss of Death shirt design. It’s a pun get it? And this next pun is also intended: this shirt is a KILLER! I bought it right away and I’m still in awe that a tee this cool exists.

For a guy like me who is obsessed with both the Friday the 13th franchise AND KISS, this shirt is one maximum mash-up. Emblazoned on the front is the iconic Jason mask adorned with Paul Stanley’s famous Starchild makeup design. The mere idea of combining these two things excites me and makes me wish that KISS would make a sequel to KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park where they have a run-in with the masked, machete wielding killer of Crystal Lake.

My only reservation is that if Jason Voorhees was to embody a member of KISS, he certainly wouldn’t be the charismatic frontman, Paul Stanley. Since Jason is more the quiet and reserved type, I’d peg him for the Catman.

Rock n Horror Apparel was founded by a rocker and a scream queen, hence the namesake. The shop also offers alternate Friday the 13th, Halloween, and Edgar Allan Poe inspired shirts along with various other clothing like thermals, sweats, leggings, tank tops, and even baby Jason Voorhees onesies! Check them out: http://www.rocknhorrorapparel.bigcartel.com

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 115: Camp Crystal Lake in Wessex, NJ

Horror t-shirt fanatics like myself never have to worry about not having enough tees to fill their wardrobe. With online shops like Fright Rags and Rotten Cotton and horror conventions across the country, you can easily buy multiple shirts based on all of your favorite horror films. Today’s entry continues with the long line of awesome Friday the 13th shirts floating around waiting to be purchased on the Internet.

The Camp Crystal Lake t-shirt from Beware the Moon Clothing Co. is truly right out of a Friday the 13th fans wish list. The shirt references the fictional town of Wessex, NJ. There’s nothing geekier than discussing a fictional town barely mentioned in a horror movie and eventually emblazoned on a t-shirt, so let’s discuss the shit out of it right now.

Although the first several films in the franchise were set in New Jersey (you can see evidence HERE HERE HERE HERE HERE and HERE) Wessex is not exploited much except for the morgue/medical center that Jason is brought to in The Final Chapter. Later, Jason Goes to Hell changed the location of Crystal Lake to Cunningham County and the Friday the 13th Wiki considers the geography change in that film it’s own entity. Screw Jason Goes To Hell, it’s easily my least favorite of the entire series and it’s disappointing because F13 is hands down my favorite horror franchise.

Beware the Moon Clothing Co. has a bunch of excellent horror, wrestling, TV, and movie t-shirts for sale. The only downside is that shipping is a bit steep since the online store is based in the UK, so you’ll have to kick in some extra coin for shipping, unless you’re actually in the UK, then you get FREE shipping.

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 114: Enzo Amore Ain’t SAWFT!

Upon his debut in 2013, NXT Superstar, “The Certified G” Enzo Amore, made a big impression on me not only because he exploits his Jerseyness, but also because he’s a natural showman. He’s so savvy on the mic that he sounds like he’s been in the business longer than a lot of the guys on the main WWE roster. After recovering from a broken leg, Amore returned to the NXT ring in late June 2014.

At first, it’s easy to think that he’s simply a caricature of an obnoxious jersey shore loudmouth, but Amore does it with a lot more style and pizzazz. His knack for comedy, gift of gab, and on-screen antics lead to many amusing bits with his friend and tag team partner Colin Cassady. Referring to themselves as the realest guys in the room, this duo makes me laugh and they’ve definitely won over the NXT crowd as well.

Amore a.k.a Eric Arndt, was born in Hackensack and attended Waldwick High School while Cassady hails from Queens, New York. These guys have known each other since high school and it translates to their presence on NXT. Their impact on the NXT universe has warranted their first official t-shirt which is a sure sign that Amore and Cassady have already scored a pretty decent degree of success in the wrestling business.

Although, one thing makes me scratch my head a bit about this tee. Since I do own this shirt, as a fan I’ll be wearing it and essentially calling myself SAWFT. That’s a derogatory term that Amore often calls his opponents. I’m going to stop questioning it and just be thankful that Amore and his shtick is making it in the business. Forget headed for the main roster, that’s a no-brainer, this guy could eventually become a WWE legend.

Straight from the WWE Shop Zone T-shirt description:
Dubbing himself “Jersey’s finest,” Enzo Amore reps the Garden State “like 225 on a barbell, 10 pounds of hair gel, steadily working on his swell.” The realest guy in the room everywhere he goes, Enzo Amore is a straight shooter. He speaks his mind at all times and at an incredible rate.

Enzo Amore’s official WWE.com Bio:

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 113: RAW IS JERSEY!

NJ IS RAW! at Barber Shop Window

Even if you’re not a wrestling fan, you might have heard about the WWE Network. It’s like Netflix for the WWE. After spending over a week with it, I can honestly say it’s one of the most awesome things ever. At the risk of sounding like a commercial, for only $9.99 a month, you get the option of watching any WWE, ECW, and WCW pay-per-view ever (including the latest monthly events) along with a ton of other programming. I’ve been glued to it every single day since it premiered on 2/24. This brings me to the t-shirt of the day which is perfect for fans of New Jersey and WWE.

If you are indeed a WWE fan, it’s a pretty damn cool time to be one. Monday nights have been pretty interesting as the company is building up for their biggest event of the year: Wrestlemania 30! Get ready to feel old: Monday Night Raw, the WWE’s live 3-hour show, has been airing for over 20 years (even more sick: I’ve been watching WWF/E for over 30 years!) You could imagine that being able to sit around and relive all these great memories has been quite amazing. The only thing better would be sitting around in an appropriate t-shirt.

Wrestling t-shirt gurus Barber Shop Window offer all kinds of funny and ironic wrestling tees that depict wrestlers and slogans spanning from the present to as far back as you can remember. It’s hard to log on to their site and not want to buy at least 5 or 6 shirts in one shot, but who has that kind of money besides The Million Dollar Man? I can help you make a decision though. If you look forward to watching live wrestling on Monday Nights, and you have pride in your state, go with their “Your State is RAW!” series of tees.

This t-shirt series will bring you back to wrestling’s territory days because they feature the shape of your state in the style of the WWE logo! Pictured above is the New Jersey version (obviously) and it will make you chant and scream in the loudest possible register, just like the fans at the Izod Center did the night after Wrestlemania 29!

These tees may soon become nostalgic in their own right. The front of the shirts use the same WWE “scratch logo” design which seems like it’s slowly being phased out in favor of the newer and much more sleek WWE logo that premiered with the Network. Don’t let that stop you from representing your pride in the business and your state at the same time. 

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 112: Kal Penn Tweets His Tee During The Super Bowl

It was New Jersey’s first Super Bowl. You’d think I’d be glued to the TV. Nope. It took Radio Shack’s ’80s commercial and The Electric Mayhem Band starring in a Toyota ad to pique my interest, otherwise I spent most of the night on Twitter giggling at the amusing shit people were coming up with while poking fun at the train wreck that was happening merely miles away in MetLife Stadium.

Astoundingly, I somehow managed to scrounge some content out of such an awful game. One of the tweets that I kept on reserve (retweeted by @faceman802!) was from producer, actor, Obama team member, and Jersey guy, Kal Penn. He’s otherwise known as Kumar from the Jersey classic, Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle.

Kal Penn proudly displaying his awesome t-shirt via a Tweet during the Super Bowl last Sunday

Presently, Penn, who also starred in Van Wilder and Superman Returns, works in the White House Office of Public Engagement, and he certainly engaged me with this tweet.

Penn was born in Montclair and later attended middle school in Howell followed by high school in Freehold Township. According to his Wikipedia page, during high school, Penn was involved in theater and the forensics team. One thing is certain, he hasn’t lost his Jersey sense of humor!

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 111: Shirt Tales and Six Flags

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Pammy, Rick, and Tyg from The Shirt Tales riding the Log Flume on this Six Flags t-shirt
Remember The Shirt Tales? A lot of the ’70s and ’80s kids and nostalgia freaks out there definitely do. If you don’t remember them, they were a group of animals who were cute to an absurd degree and their thoughts would materialize in illuminated words right on their t-shirts. Although the Shirt Tales were only around for a couple of TV seasons (1982-1984), they had a slightly longer life on the front of Hallmark greeting cards and various other tie-ins, one of which we’ll look at in this post.

In their own Hanna-Barbera cartoon show, the gang fought crime and they even had their own little Batcave-type headquarters. I tried to jog my own memory by watching an episode on YouTube called The Big Foot Incident. Memories started rushing back, but I didn’t remember much about the cool set of villains who resembled bumbling versions of the Universal Monsters. The ring leader (Mesmo? Not very original) could’ve been a horror host and his lair was basically a haunted mansion that was constantly being showered with frequent lighting bolts (awesome). This all seemed very uncharacteristic for a bunch of furry and lovable little creatures who were created to sell Hallmark cards.

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If you were to associate cartoon characters with Six Flags Great Adventure here in New Jersey, Looney Tunes would immediately come to mind, but there’s proof right here that there was a brief time when The Shirt Tales reigned at Six Flags! According to the Great Adventure History site, in 1984, the kiddie kingdom area was renamed Shirt Tales Land and the characters would come out and greet kids. This only last for one season until getting taken over by the Looney Tunes.

The above photo is from the exact period of time when the Shirt Tales were popular in the early ’80s. Back then, they incorporated all their locations onto one t-shirt so they didn’t have to print up separate shirts for each location, so that explains why Great Adventure is listed at the bottom. Fortunately though, it stands out the most since it’s highlighted in yellow.

This is ’80s nostalgia at its best. Why do I say that? Well, I actually scanned this photo in myself and it’s of my best friend who I’ve known since I was in pre-school. I had the photo because not too long ago, I made a slideshow for his birthday of old photos that his mom was nice enough to gather up for me. These included some real classics and I scanned them all in. I kept this one on the hard drive because I knew that somewhere down the line I would want to bring it up here at The Sexy Armpit. It was a double whammy!

In the past several years I felt that the characters that get licensed out for use in marketing and merch for Six Flags G.A should be capitalized on more. I hate seeing the DC Universe and the Looney Tunes not being exploited to their fullest, but it probably has a lot to do with the fact that the park is no longer owned and operated by Warner Brothers, which it was at one time.

I obviously have a huge affinity for Six Flags nostalgia, but it’s merely a coincidence that the last installment of T-Shirt Tuesday featured a Six Flags tee as well. Hell, I’m not opposed to doing more either, so if you know of any vintage Six Flags tees/or you have old photos of you wearing one, let me know about them!