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NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 10: The Sopranos T-Shirts

Posted on July 22, 2009 by sexyarmpit

I woke up this morning…had a T-Shirt idea in my eyes. Allright, so the lyrics to Alabama 3’s Sopranos theme song don’t necessarily translate into a winning blog post joke. But it has been on my mind that The Sopranos has not been represented here on T-Shirt Tuesday. What a crime! One might think that I was roughed up a little by Mr. Silvio Dante in order to keep my mouth shut, but who cares? Do you think I’m going to listen to those guys? Let them try beating me again because I have a mind of my own, one that veers off frequently throughout the day into daydreams where I am a guy named Kevin Finnerty. Jeez, maybe all those beatings have taken their toll! Now fix me a capicola sand. with peppers so we can get down to business, and make sure this room isn’t tapped!

Word has come down that ChasingTheFrog.com has assembled quite a haul of links to stores that sell Sopranos shirts, hats, and other collectibles. This stuff fell off a truck so it’s hot! Let’s take a look at some of the T-Shirts they’re featuring:

You can find about a hundred different Bada Bing variations on Cafe Press, but this version is from the store Funny T-Shirts from seller “ybiaw.” Next is the Barone Sanitation shirt from Cafe Press seller “strk3.” One of my personal favorite T-Shirts shops is Stylin’ Online. They can be a little pricey at times but they’ve got an awesome selection. This Sopranos shirt they are offering specifically mentions New Jersey! Of course these are only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to Sopranos tees, so we’ll delve deeper in future posts.

George Carlin: What am I Doing in New Jersey?

Posted on February 25, 2009 by sexyarmpit

On March 25th & 26th, 1988, at the Park Theater in Union City NJ, the eternal KING of comedy George Carlin recorded a special for HBO called What am I Doing in New Jersey? Though it’s not considered his best work, Carlin fearlessly attacked controversial topics head on using his legendary wit and sarcasm. Sure, it’s a 20 year old comedy special, but the ideas Carlin explores and rips on are still fresh and relevant today.

Carlin fiercely kicks the show off with his gripes of Reagan’s government. The Reagan White House vowed to the American people that they’d get government off their backs, but still ’till this day decide what you can read, and what broadcasters can say on the radio. Carlin tore right into the idea of the FCC and how they pointlessly horn in on our 1st amendment right. The bits on Ronald Reagan are obviously dated but if you really wanted to, it’s entirely possible to substitute George W. Bush and it wouldn’t be too much of a stretch. From there, he blew “right to lifers” out of the water, and did a hysterical bit on Civil War reanactors: “…they should use live ammunition!”

Carlin is at his best as he details ironic and sometimes bizarre aspects of American culture:

“This is a place where gun store owners are given a list of stolen credit cards, but not a list of criminals and maniacs! And now they’re thinking about banning toy guns, and they’re gonna KEEP the fuckin’ REAL ones!“

Later on in the show, Carlin deals with some of the most appropriate topics for a show in NJ, such as traffic and driving:

“…New Jersey deserves the title “Toll Booth Capitol” of the United States of America.”

“…you can’t back out of your driveway in New Jersey without some schmuck in a hat wants 50 cents! And i don’t mind payin’ tolls, but every 27 feet? Bullshit!“

“…so I say let ’em be honest, let ’em put it right on the license plates, New Jersey: The Tollbooth State. What does it say now? The Garden State, haha, sure, if you’re growing smokestacks…YES.”

“I like New Jersey…I even have one of those t-shirts you guys sell, “Kiss Her Where It Smells Take Her to New Jersey”…so I like the place…”

Carlin also offers some helpful tips and hints on improving your life:

“how to get rid of counterfeit money: put it in the collection plate at church. See how often the simple solution will elude us?“

“…someone asks you what time it is, say, well it’s either 6:15 or Mickey has a hard on.”

Keeping with the driving and traffic topic, signs and stickers on cars get Carlin fired up. He also offers a few suggestions on how to deal with a cop when you get pulled over.

In his review of the comedy album, JT Griffith of AllMusic.com had this to say: “The main weakness of What Am I Doing in New Jersey is that it doesn’t have any choice takes on the “Garden State” at all. What a missed opportunity. Overall, a light and entertaining comedy album, but not a groundbreaking or challenging one. ” I concur with JT. I would’ve liked to hear more of Carlin roasting New Jersey, but at the time, in ’88, making fun of NJ guido’s wasn’t as popular of a trend as it is now. Perhaps riffing on Joe Piscopo or Pork Roll sandwiches didn’t entice Carlin very much either and I think this HBO special was better off for it. Regardless of it’s shortcomings, What am I Doing in New Jersey is another quite entertaining entry in Carlin’s extensive discography. It’s available on CD and DVD.

** Built in 1931, The Park Theater Performing Arts Center features the the longest running passion play in the United States which details Christ’s last days. It’s now in it’s 94th season. Judging by their website, it looks like there aren’t many big names performing there anymore.

Every town should have a comic store, even…ELM STREET!

Posted on December 14, 2006 by sexyarmpit

I’m a little late on the mark when it comes to getting my comics. There’s a lack of any cool comic stores in our local area. There’s only a few and they pretty much suck. I feel uncomfortable going into these stores because you don’t know what to expect from the clerk. Either it seems like they are really depending on you to buy something or they couldn’t give a fuck if you’re even in their shop or not. I like to ask questions if I’m not sure if I’m buying the right book or if I need a certain issue. I’m not the guy who goes into the store and buys 40 comics either. I’ll buy a few here and there and I don’t read/collect one specific line. Although I was excited recently when I found out about Wildstorm’s line of Nightmare on Elm Street comics. There have been many different companies handling Elm Street comics in the past but I was confident Wildstorm would do it justice. I was a month or so late but I finally got around to Secret Stash this past weekend and picked up issues #1 and #2.

While reading the comic it was easy to picture its events actually happening in a film installment. There was nothing that was too far from the typical Elm Street saga and unfortunately it doesn’t attempt to further the mythology of the series in any way. I’m sure in the upcoming issues the writers will stretch out creatively. Chuck Dixon reintroduces Freddy into the comic world with a solid plot. The characters are similar to ones you’ve seen in the films and segues to dream sequences are well done. The art by Kevin West is vibrant and colorful and it’s especially enhanced by the high quality paper. West has done quite a memorable job translating the Nightmare series from the screen to the page. It’s far fetched but I’d love to see it become a mature animated series on HBO in the vein of Spawn, but much scarier. It’s good to know a company finally got it right with such an iconic series.

The Case of the Perplexing G-String

Posted on December 29, 2005 by sexyarmpit

This one is “just a quickie” (no pun intended) Yeah right, that is impossible. As I sit in front of the computer I have a tissue stuck up my nose and I’m smoking my fake cigarette. This has been perplexing me for a while now so I needed to get in the mood. Since I started school this past semester in September of ’05 and ended a couple of weeks ago, I realized something about the girls at Kean. There seem to be many girls on that campus who wear G-Strings. I would sit in class and certain girls would waltz in and sit down in the rows in front of me and as they sat down I couldn’t help but see their backside where their G-strings would rise out of their pants and way up to their lower back. These weren’t normal G-Strings either. These had rhinestones, some had frilly doily patterns. Where the hell have I been? Personally, I’ve never been with a girl sexually who ever wore a G-string in my prescence.

I find this contradictory to what I had previously believed. I was under the impression that the majority of girls especially those in college wore THONGS. Am I living in the past? Are the days of Sisquo gone? To be honest – HBO comes to mind…”G-String Divas.” Is this show still on? Do they still make new episodes? I have never even seen it, I just know that they always used to show commercials for it relentlessly. Do you think that this show has anything to do with the upsurge in G-String wearing? Obviously our TV habits have an effect on our lifestyle. But I’m not sure in this case.

TO THE FEMALES READING THIS:

DO YOU OWN A G-STRING?

WOULD YOU WEAR IT ON A NORMAL DAY TO CLASS?

Would you wear it on an everyday basis? Like going to the bank? Is this a little odd? This may be a small percentage of girls. Perhaps I’m losing touch with the youth. After all, girls are having sex waay early at like…age 8 now. Personally, I just think a thong or regular underwear is fine young or old. I think jumping to the G-String definitely means SEX. Once you have that on you are hiking it up a few octaves. I just don’t think its necessary especially when a few of the G-Strings in question were seen popping up from girls jeans. Why do you need to wear one with jeans? I can see if it was a tight skirt, dress, spandex pants…whatever. I can see if you are on a beach in Brazil and everyone has one on. I can see you wearing one if you are Paul Stanley. I can see you wearing one if your butt crack needs a good flossing.

I just don’t know that if I was a girl if I would wear one to a school or work environment unless there was a reason. I can see if you are trying to turn on a co-worker or boss. I can see it if you slept at a boyfriends house and you dressed really sexy for him and then you realized you were late for class and had no time to put regular underwear on or even a thong then you just hightailed it to Kean for your Global History of Skankiness 101 class that you never study for cause you’ve aced all the tests. Maybe it’s extra points for the G-String. I sometimes sat there believing that these girls had a pole in their house and they would wake up twirl around it a few times in their G-String and slide down it and then once they hit the botttom floor their clothes would miraculously appear on them like Batman in the 60’s TV series. They slid down as Bruce and Dick (that sounded so dirty) and then appeared in the Batcave at the end of their poles (dirty again) as Batman and Robin. Frankly that was amazing. Who gives a fuck about G-Strings. I want a fucking Batpole so I don’t have to actually get changed in the morning. And what the hell does the G stand for in G-String? Am I missing something? Gyno? Gash?