Star Wars Links for Jersey Jedi

Posted on by sexyarmpit
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In honor of Star Wars Day, I gathered up a list of Star Wars related links for you. Some of them have been featured here at The Sexy Armpit, while others link to outside sites. Of interest to you they will be.  
Illustrator John Van Fleet has created many pieces of Star Wars related art that has appeared on the covers of novels, comics, and sourcebooks. Van Fleet “grew up in New Jersey near the Delaware Water Gap…” according to his bio in The New Essential Chronology. In addition to Lucasfilm, he has also worked on projects for DC Comics, Marvel, Warner Brothers, and many more. 
Star Wars artist Nicole Falk holds a BFA from the Mason Gross School of the Arts at Rutgers University. Take a look at her blog Halloweenville where she posts her artwork and other projects. She was also interviewed for the Star Wars Artist Series on Star Wars.com.
Accomplished voice actor Jess Harnell has provided voice work on several Star Wars video games. He was born in Teaneck, NJ.
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The Legend of The Headless Ahsoka Tano

Posted on by sexyarmpit
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This gives a whole new meaning to her nickname “Snips”
You may find it hard to believe that I DIDN’T find this headless Ahsoka Tano action figure in the Sleepy Hollow Wal-Mart, or even the one on the planet Shili. What other place besides New Jersey would offer up a sight as savage as a plastic statue of Anakin Skywalker’s decapitated little padawan to impressionable young children wandering wide-eyed through the toy aisles with their parents? How does a parent explain this one?
Well, if you were me, and there’s an enormous chance that you’re not, the majority of you with children will NOT reply in this manner, but those with quick wit and a bit of Star Wars swerve will be prepared to shoot back with a killer automatic response: “Well, if you knew anything about Star Wars you little prick, then perhaps you would know that Darth Sidious slashed her head right off her kneck with one swing of his lightsaber.” Then since you’re still in the Star Wars aisle, just for effect, you could pretend you’re Sidious, grab a toy saber, and proceed to swing at your kids neck, in a playful fashion of course. At the end of this dramatization of such a horrific epitaph, you could cap it all off with, “That’s why you need to do your homework.”
“So if I don’t do my homework Darth Sidious is going to chop my head off with a lightsaber, daddy?” “Yes kiddo, that’s exactly what will happen, or he may have Anakin do it for him depending on how his arthritis is that day.” Once you start convincing them that their grandfather is actually Darth Sidious, I think they’ll get the picture.
With merely a few minutes of consultation with the Bat-Computer, and perhaps some fiddling with the Bat-Hyperspectrographic Analyzer, I was able to deduce that this figure was tampered with. On the lower left corner of the card you’ll see a few marks that indicate the bubble was cut. It looked like a bonafide error while I was in the store, but after walking around the entire store with the figure in my shopping cart, I finally realized that this was no error, this action figure’s head was amputated by a father who was out to set a creative example for his kids. Remember to always use The Legend of The Headless Ahsoka Tano story on your kids folks, it always works.
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Star Wars Gang Runway Modeling Ecko Line at Macy’s

Posted on by sexyarmpit

Here’s some pics I snapped at Macy’s of Darth, Yoda, Boba, Chewie, and a Stormtrooper sashaying around in the new Marc Ecko Star Wars clothing line. I could almost hear Vader talking to Boba Fett “You’re money baby! You’re money!” Sucks for Ecko and Macy’s, but I think more people would actually want to buy the masks rather than the clothes.

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DAAAMN YODA! those are some big ass hands for one little dude! And Chewie looks like he’s wearing a toupe!

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He’s One Sexy Sith:
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Should Layla Kayleigh Play The Clone Wars’ Ahsoka Tano?

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I must seriously question your midichlorian count if you aren’t a fan of Star Wars: The Clone Wars. Although, surprisingly, the film and TV series have a large sand barge full of detractors. For some reason, many online folks have focused their feelings of disgust and hatred toward Anakin’s padawan, Ahsoka Tano. Actually, I can’t find anything about her character that I DON’T enjoy. She’s not annoying unlike some of the propaganda circulating on the Internet will tell you. Ahsoka proves to be a young, strong, female character who girls can look up to. When their friends or brothers are emulating Anakin or Obi-Wan, girls need a hero too! Thankfully, Ahsoka wasn’t given a stereotypical accent much like some of the other characters in the prequels (i.e Watto, Jar Jar, and Nute Gunray, to name a few). Ashley Eckstein flawlessly provides Ahsoka’s voice, but what if Ahsoka were to appear in the live action TV show? Who would be best for the role? 

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Keep in mind that Ahsoka is merely 14 years old, but I think we can stretch the age limit a little bit here. If Gabrielle Carteris and the rest of the cast of the original 90210 did it, then so can George Lucas! I choose Layla Kayleigh, a natural beauty who hosts The Feed on G4’s Attack of the Show and America’s Best Dance Crew on MTV among other TV credits. She’s only 24 and in addition to modeling, Layla has starred in a film and runs her own video blog. I find her physical features and diverse ethnic background to be prime reasons why she would be perfect for the role of Ahsoka. According to Wikipedia, Kayleigh has “African, European, and Middle Eastern ancestry.” What do you say Layla? Are you up for the Jedi training? How do the readers of The Sexy Armpit feel about it? 

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