The Beastie Boys: From White Castle to the Nile? Scratch That. New Jersey!

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Have you ever wondered what the correlation is between The Beastie Boys, South Orange, Slyders, and Secaucus? No? Well, I’m going to explain it anyway!

Aside from White Castle references that make Harold and Kumar feel inadequate, The Beastie Boys are also associated with NJ. Not only was Adam Horovitz a.k.a King Adrock born in South Orange NJ, but the Beastie Boys also refer to the NJ town of Secaucus in 2 of their songs:
“We’re from Manhattan, You’re from Secaucus”
Rock Hard
“You’re From Secaucus – I’m from Manhattan”
The New Style
In addition to geographical name drops, sprinkled throughout the lyrics of the album, the Beasties make their lust for the mini burgers abundantly clear. It’s unbelievable how many people from around the world first heard of White Castle through listening to The Beastie Boys’ debut album License to Ill. Just type it in a Google search and you’ll see what I mean! Plateoftheday.com, a food blog, claims that “White Castle burgers if you don’t know, were first made popular by a Beastie Boys song back in the ’80s.” All I can say is…wow. If giving each person in the world the power to go on the Internet means granting them permission to spew such innacurate and outrageous comments, then I say people like that need a License to Internet
BTW, Even though they were founded in 1921, NJ is one of only 11 states that have White Castle restaurants. Such a pity for the other 39 states! Now If you’ll excuse me, I’m about to grab two girlies and a beer that’s cold…

Most Romantic Moments Heard on my iPod Part 2

Valentine’s Day is one of the cheesiest days of the year. Boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands and wives are supposed to be good to their significant others all year round, but for the past oh…let’s say 200 years, thanks to Valentine’s Day, we’re only contractually obligated to be nice once a year. I look at V-day simply as an unecessary occasion where men have to buy overpriced flowers and candy for their lady.

If you love someone, you should profess your love often, and in a variety of different ways. One way is to make a playlist on your lovers iPod or go old school and make them an actual mix CD. For hints on some of the best musical expressions of love, here’s part 2 of the most romantic songs heard on my iPod. If you are a completist and would like to read the first installment, then click here!

I want you, in a vinyl suit, I want you bad
The Offspring – I Want You Bad
I know you’re hungry I can see it in your eyes
She’s lookin at me like I’m a side of fries
I wanna take your chubby ass back to my place
And squirt my baby gravy all over your face
Steel Panther – Fat Girl

She took a lightsaber to my heart
And she picked my brain with a pocket knife
Marvelous 3 – Cold as Hell

You got a body like the devil and you smell like sex
I can tell you’re trouble but I’m still obsessed
Because you know you’re so hot, I want to get you alone
So hot, I wanna get you stoned
So hot, I don’t want to be your friend
I want to fuck you like I’m never gonna see you again
Kid Rock – So Hott

She calls and I come runnin’ back, I call, she never calls me back
What’s wrong with me I’m so addicted to you…
and you’re such a dick to me
Lit – Addicted

Don’t come hangin’ around my door

Don’t wanna see your face no more
I don’t need your war machines
I don’t need your ghetto scenes
The Guess Who – American Woman

The plaster’s gettin’ harder and my love is perfection
A token of my love for her collection

And my love is the plaster
And yeah, shes the collector
She wants me all the time to inject her

KISS – Plaster Caster

Put your hand in my pocket
Grab onto my rocket
KISS – Take Me

You know I thug ’em, fuck ’em, love ’em, leave ’em
Cause I don’t fuckin’ need ’em
Jay Z – Big Pimpin’

I used to love her, but I had to kill her
I knew I’d miss her
So I had to keep her
She’s buried right in my backyard
Guns N Roses – I Used To Love Her

Girls Don’t Like Boys, Girls Like Cars And Money
Boys Will Laugh At Girls When They’re Not Funny
Good Charlotte – Boys and Girls

Need your love 1,2,3
Stop starin’ at my D cup

Don’t waste time, just give it to me
C’mon baby, just feel me up
The Donnas – Take It Off

Hey! You’re a crazy bitch,

but you fuck so good I’m on top of it.
When I dream I’m doing you all night,
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on.
Buckcherry – Crazy Bitch

You say you’re cried a thousand rivers
And now you’re swimming for the shore
You left me drowning in my tears
And you won’t save me anymore
Bon Jovi – I’ll Be There For You

You let me violate you, You let me desecrate you, You let me penetrate you
I want to fuck you like an animal
I want to feel you from the inside
Nine Inch Nails – Closer

She dashed by me in painted on jeans
And all heads turned ’cause she was the dream
In the blink of an eye I knew her number and her name
Ah she said I was the tiger she wanted to tame
Billy Ocean – Carribbean Queen
I hope she’ll say, “Hey me and you should hit the hay!”
I asked her out she said, “No way!”
The Beastie Boys – Girls

One more thing before you go
would you please give me my records back
My Bloody Valentine, The Pixies, Cheap Trick and Back In Black
You can keep the dog we bought but you can’t go near the Standard Bar
Don’t hang around, don’t call my friends, They won’t know who you are!

American Hi-Fi – The Breakup Song

I don’t drink tea
Or white chablis
I sit around and watch tv
Don’t send flowers
Or take showers
But I’ll be there to pull your weeds

Alice Cooper – Fantasy Man

I know you’d like to thank your shit don’t stank
But lean a little bit closer
See that roses really smell like poo-oo-ooo
Yeah, roses really smell like poo-oo-ooo
Caroline! See she’s the reason for the word “bitch”
I hope she’s speeding on the way to the club
Trying to hurry up to get to some
Baller or singer or somebody like that
And try to put on her makeup in the mirror
And crash, crash, crash.. into a ditch! (Just Playing!)
Outkast – Roses

But it all was bullshit.
It was a goddam joke.
And when I think of you Linda,
I hope you fucking choke.
Adam Sandler – Somebody Kill Me Please

I try to love you but sometimes it’s just a pain in the ass
RATT – I Want a Woman

Memorial Day Recap

Many of you had big plans for Memorial Day weekend. I know alot of you were getting obliterated, barbecuing, and socializing. My weekend didn’t involve any of that but I’ll run down some of the high points for you.

I’ve been waiting in great anticipation for Thursday at 8:00 pm to go to see Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End. I was so excited for it that I had my advance tickets on Tuesday! I headed over to the AMC theater in New Brunswick without even eating dinner. I was too pumped. I could care less about bad reviews or box office take, this movie was awesome. Some say it’s too long or too confusing but if you’re a fan of the series and you love the characters then you will be treated to an exciting, epic adventure.

Saturday I had a beer with a friend at Hooters of Union, N.J. and then watched the Spurs game.

Sunday was a trip down to Atlantic City to see Gwen Stefani at the Borgata. Just as we were approaching the end of the A.C expressway there was a 10-car accident that was blocking all of the lanes. I wasn’t about to sit and wait three hours for the cops and the ambulances to come and get it squared away. Some of the crafty drivers who were stopped in traffic realized that they could creep through a tight spot on the right shoulder and pass through the mess. Only five or six cars were brave enough to sneak through and I was one of them. Shit, Gwen Stefani was only a mile away!

I was hungry as hell and I knew that they opened a Fatbuger at the downstairs food court at the Borgata. I never tasted a Fatbuger before and I was curious to see what all the hype was about. Eve since I was 6 years old I wondered what the Beastie Boys were referring to in their song “The New Style,” and now I know. I ordered the original Fatburger (w/no onions) with Fries and a Coke which is the way a burger should be served! It was definitely a “tasty burger” as Jules said in Pulp Fiction but it wasn’t too different than a burger from Johnny Rockets. It was definitely enjoyable though.

Before heading to the event center for the show I made a stop at one of the Borgata’s luxurious bathrooms. If you ever have to take a trip to the bathroom and you are like me and you hate shitting in a public restroom – the BORGATA is the place to do it. The best part is that there are literally 30 urinals and like 20 stalls. This isn’t normal by any means. With the amount of bathrooms in the place I don’t think any one bathroom would ever be filled to the max. That means a helluva lot of people need to shit at the same time, that would be uncanny. This is a bathroom sent from Heaven. This is most likely the way the public restrooms are up there after you enter the gates and you have to pee really bad you make a right and there you are at the Borgata bathroom. Who would’ve thunk that a bathroom in New Jersey would be so awesome!

I spent some time at the TOP GUN SLOT MACHINE! While this may not be as cool as the Star Wars slots it’s a very close second. The seat your in vibrates and makes noise while the F-14 does a fly-by onscreen. The bonus game is pretty cool because it lets you attempt to fly into the
bonus number you would like. The only downside is that it plays a cheesy cover version of “Danger Zone” instead of the original by Kenny Loggins.

Gwen Stefani put on a fantastic show as usual. The wait time and standing through the horrid Lady Sovereign was tough but I made it through.

That Fence Has a Huge BUSH!

Atrocities such as 9/11, the war in the middle east, and horrible beheadings have opened the eyes of our society. Much of today’s youth has grown more aware as a result. It’s especially proven true after what I noticed in my neighborhood the other day. I had never really seen politically charged graffiti before. In the tri-state area we are almost desensitized to graffiti. Obviously it takes on a different meaning in the inner cities than in suburbs and elsewhere. In the inner cities entire buildings are painted with intricate graffiti. Of course, graffiti and “tagging” can be considered an art form, but since we see so it so often it loses its potency. It’s likely that whenever there’s a blank slab of concrete, there’s typically some sort of artwork of various sizes and colors sprayed on it.

Sometimes the subject matter is similar to the crap you read on the walls of a bathroom stall, other times it’s about peace. Occasionally it’s the nickname of local “posse”. Usually not much thought goes into what it says, more goes into how it looks. Naturally surprise came over me when I saw a pretty decent quality caricature of Dubya on a fence nearby my house. It bluntly stated “Bush is a Liar”.
At first I thought that whoever did this must’ve been pretty ballsy. Not only was it on private property, but it seemed like an above average amount of ingenuity went into it. This person was the Bob Ross of graffiti. They were playing freakin Picture Pages on the fence! They didn’t seem like they could have done it in a hurry, so it wasn’t just a hit and run job. They couldn’t have been drunk or high, they seemed like they were on a mission. Maybe it was an overachieving, brownnosing campaign worker for John Kerry. If he or she was on the Kerry “street team” he could’ve just started ballistic posting on message boards across the Internet instead of going through all of the trouble. But I admire them for going the old fashion route. Painstaking artwork. Something has to be said for those who work with their hands. The funny part is, I agree with the message but at the same time I hate the guy for defacing the town that I hold so dear. It’s no bel-air, it’s far from it, but it’s my town that created all the bass sound. Strangely, I’d rather see graffiti with a message than some stupid pointless tag or something obscene. It’s more thought provoking and hopeful. It makes me think, maybe this isn’t a society filled with as many morons as I thought.

Hypothetically, let’s say that the culprit is a young person. How is he or she gathering his information to form opinions? First off, there is television. It’s a fact that many actors in film and TV are against Bush since many are Democrats. Fahrenheit 911’s Michael Moore claimed if anyone under 17 wants to see the movie let him know and he would sneak them in. Not such a lame ass comment after all. These are the future voters he’s sneaking in! Super idea! A commercial for the movie shows George W. Bush and Citizens United, a republican group, has stated that it might violate the The Federal Elections commission rule of prohibiting ads that picture a candidate within 30 days of a parties nominating convention. Moore believes it’s an an attempt to stop people from seeing his movie. Can we say that this spray-job violates the Federal Graffiti Commission law?
Most importantly the youth is influenced by music and their favorite artists. Now more than ever we are being told to “rock the vote”. At many concerts and events since the springtime I’ve seen tables set up to register to vote. Jon Bon Jovi has always been a staunch supporter of democratic candidates. Incubus’ recent track “Megalomaniac” is all about Bush and from what I gather singer and lyricist Brandon Boyd is commanding him to “step down”. (Do you think he wants him to step down? Maybe he should repeat the line again? lol) The Beastie Boys have been known to make their political opinions clearly known. Their latest album “To the 5 Boroughs” is riddled with anti-bush lyrics and an urge for peace. To top it off a “Rock Against Bush” compilation has been released with a second volume coming soon with even higher profile artists such as Offspring and No Doubt. All of this contributes to the widespread “consciousness” amongst young people. With all of these influences, maybe I shouldn’t have been surprised to see an enormous Bush on the fence.
Finally one last idea that I had was that “the culprit must really hate Bush.” Then after more thinking, I reasoned that they couldn’t have hated Bush that much if they’re taking the time to draw pictures of him on fences. They might have wanted to just exercise their art skills. Regardless, creating more propaganda for this douche is not good by any means. I don’t want to see his dumb ass face at all. It’s on TV and in the papers way too much as it is. To the graffiti-freaks out there, please don’t give this guy any more press. I’m of the ilk that any publicity is good publicity, but I’m a hound. So in my twisted mind this graffiti is inadvertently paying homage. If the “artist” was so anti-Bush they could have drawn a big huge John Kerry head.