It’s one thing to watch sharks swim around gracefully from afar in a tank, but it’s a totally different story to be almost completely surrounded by them as they fantasize about what’s for lunch. In the name of attracting more people, several aquariums around the country feature walk through shark tunnels. Have we not learned anything from that enthralling cinematic achievement, Jaws 3-D?
As if the 3-D revival craze in the early ’80s wasn’t horrifying enough, JAWS 3-D plainly warned us NEVER to go into any tunnel that looks like THIS:
It may sound like fun when you’re sitting in front of a movie screen watching Jaws with 3-D glasses on, but when you are actually in the real thing, it’s a very
different experience. For those of you who enjoy risking life and limb, The Shark Realm at The Adventure Aquarium in Camden, NJ
has a 40 foot, 550,000 gallon shark tunnel that will have you literally handing over your body parts in exchange for the shark’s mercy on your soul.
Something tells me that, eventually, sharks will be the answer to the population problem in the U.S. Anytime one of those ferocious bastards wants to crash through the glass and dine on some dirty Jersey flesh, carnage and utter mayhem could be mere moments away. If you haven’t experienced Dennis Quaid’s tour de force in JAWS 3-D, you better log on to Netflix or order it on Amazon before you head out to your local Aquarium, and because you are missing out on a total shlockfest.
*Read more about Dennis Quaid’s Deep Dark Shark Secret
The Adventure Aquarium also has the option to Swim with the Sharks. You won’t catch The Sexy Armpit doing that anytime soon, but the dude from TLC’s CAKE BOSS had the guts: