A Very Sexy, Sexy Armpit Summer Excursion

It’s the end of the summer and I figured I’d recap all that happened but then I realized, not all that much happened. At one point during the summer I got fed up with typical outings like movies and restaurants and sought out some off the wall things to occupy our rare free time. I picked one place to write about in particular that my girlfriend and I visited called Grounds for Sculpture in Hamilton N.J.

Grounds for Sculpture is basically an enormous sculpture park. It wasn’t a trip to Six Flags but it was original to say the least. It was a deadly hot day as we walked around the fields and paths looking for objects that might have been a sculpture that we were supposed to be on the lookout for. Occasionally we would be discussing the finer points of a large tree only to find out that it was actually only just a tree and not a sculpture. I can’t tell you how many times I uttered the phrase “Is this a sculpture?” It was probably more times than I’ll ever say that phrase again in my life. Every time my girlfriend saw a flower she had to examine it to see if it was real and each time it was. What kind of nickle an dime operation is this? They called this a sculpture park? The amount of actual sculptures paled in comparison to the ones that weren’t!

I felt kind of uncomfortable at times because of the random nude sculptures complete with bush and all. These sculptors have no shame! Most of the time we were looking at sculpts that reminded me of something Delia Deetz from Beetlejuice made. There was even one sculpture of a human form that paralyzed me for a moment. I walked around a corner and looked straight ahead down a walkway to see this human sculpture. I felt like I was in the Shining when Torrance walked into room #237 and saw the lady rising up from the bathtub. It was pretty frightening for a moment. Being in such surreal surrounding, it made me think I was in an alternate dimension or the Overlook for a second.

Of course, there were no shortage of silly “Hey look I’m part of the sculpture” photo ops to lighten the mood. It was a fun and odd excursion and if you’re ever just feel in the mood to see some freakin‘ sculptures then definitely pay them a visit. You never know, you might see that clay UFO that you made in pre-school!