Judith Light is February’s Garden State Playmate

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“ANGELA!” In my head I can hear Tony Danza’s rough voice ascend into a higher register as he replies to his boss with some mildly comedic response. I grew up watching Who’s The Boss and Judith Light played the uptight, ’80s yuppie Angela Bower to perfection. There were times when I lost a dream or two, but I found the trail and at the end was February’s Garden State Playmate, Judith Light!

Born in Trenton, NJ, Judith Light was starring in TV shows well before she broke out with Who’s the Boss. In fact, all throughout the late ’70s and ’80s you could catch her on TV pretty much any day of the week. She appeared on One Life to Live, St. Elsewhere, Remington Steele, Kojak, and Family Ties.

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One of her most well received performances was in the 1989 made-for-TV movie The Ryan White Story, about a 13 year old hemophiliac who contracted AIDS. In 1999, Light bravely took on the role in the off-Broadway show Wit where she shaved her head completely as she played a “literary academic dying of ovarian cancer” according to IMDB.

More recently, Light has appeared on Law and Order SVU, Ugly Betty, Nurse Jackie, and now you can catch her on one of my favorites…DALLAS! In the TNT reboot of the long running show, she plays Judith Ryland, the rotten and controlling mother (mother? really?) of the 2nd season’s villain.

*She attended St. Mary’s Hall in Burlington, NJ. (IMDB)

Sabrina The Teenage Witch Up In Here!

Sabrina The Teenage Witch House Freehold NJ

Screw you microfiche! There are just some things that you can only find on the Internet. For example, I stumbled onto a cool piece of trivia regarding Sabrina The Teenage Witch over at AJ Halliwell’s blog.

Blog author AJ investigated the whereabouts of the exterior of Sabrina The Teenage Witch’s house from the 1996 live action TV show. Spellman Manor is the name of the house where Sabrina resided. It was intended to be in a fictional town in Massachusetts although the actual house itself used for exterior shots is on East Main Street in Freehold, New Jersey!

Thanks to AJ for pointing out this tidbit and even mentioning that she purposely posted about it to make the info easier to find via search engines. She hails from Ohio, so it was fate that I came across it! When you’re done here, stop over to her blog!

There’s a lot in store for Sabrina The Teenage Witch. She has a new CGI animated TV show coming to HUB Network as well as a live action feature film that re-establishes Sabrina as a super-hero. Not sure how good that last part sounds, but I’ll definitely check out the TV show on HUB. For me, nothing beats the 1970 Filmation series.

New Jersey’s Great Pop Culture Moments Vol.68: Eerie, Indiana

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“My name is Marshall Teller. Not long ago I was living in New Jersey just across the river from New York City. It was crowded, polluted, and full of crime…I loved it. But my parents wanted a better life for my sister and me, so we moved to a place so wholesome, so squeaky clean, you could only find it on TV. Unfortunately nothing could be further from the truth…”

Fellow horror fans were few and far between when I was a kid. Even in my teenage years I really only had one friend who was into horror like me. And nowadays all it takes is a Google search and you can see that the Internet is literally overrun with horror blogs. It doesn’t get any better than that. But let me go back to when I was a little kid. Those were some important years in the ’80s and ’90s for the genre of horror. On a much different scale, horror was marketed to the kids. There were movies, comics, and TV shows. Horror and Sci-Fi began to merge together to incorporate thrillers, the unexplained, spooky mysteries, and anything remotely…eerie. One of the first shows that successfully blended all this together for young kids in a neat package was Eerie, Indiana.

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“…nobody believes me, but this is the center of weirdness for the entire planet…Eerie, Indiana, my home sweet home…”

Eerie premiered in September of 1991 and I began recording each episode as they aired without even knowing if I would like them or not. I just had a feeling that it exactly my type of show. The pilot turned out to be classic. The plot revolves around our main character Marshall’s (Omri Katz) neighbors, a set of twin boys whose mother preserves them in a type of human Tupperware called Foreverware when they go to sleep at night. It was directed by Jersey guy Joe Dante and it’s in line with all of his other superb genre work. From there, Marshall would investigate all kinds of weird stuff around his town. The show hit home for me since Marshall was constantly comparing his new whacked out hometown to his old neighborhood in New Jersey. Ironically, in the show he uses Jersey as his measuring stick for normal. Obviously we’re far from it!

“Normally I wouldn’t be afraid of pancakes, but back in Jersey, breakfast was always a serve yourself bowl of cereal. Mom had me worried.”

Predating Eerie, Indiana’s premiere by a couple of years, New Jersey had their very own magazine which was basically the same premise as Eerie called Weird NJ. I wonder if the shows producers did a little borrowing? It was quite a few years before the magazine blew up and became world renowned, but local Jersey folks were well aware of its existence. The publishers, Mark and Mark are local icons who eventually branched out into books and their own specials on the History Channel. You might say I was spoiled. Add this reading material into my TV watching routine and you can pick up on what kind of a kid I was and why I related to Marshall.

I had an insatiable appetite for anything I could devour with a creepy tone to it. Eerie, Indiana was my must-see TV for the season that it aired. When I was even younger I would watch Amazing Stories, The Goonies, The ‘Burbs, Monster Squad, The Explorers, The Gate, Haunted Honeymoon, Tomes and Talismans, Twilight Zone, and Tales From The Crypt. On stormy days in the summer my sister and I used to watch the video tape from the Clue video board game. Most times we didn’t even play the game, we just liked the mysterious video. Heck, after Eerie, Indiana was basically dead in the water I even watched Ghost Writer on PBS. That show rocked too. Are You Afraid of the Dark began in the same year as Eerie, Indiana and, a few years later, so did Goosebumps, so it just goes to show that there was a demand for that type of programming.

I would nearly wet myself when the promos would start airing for Shocktober on Channel 11 (WPIX here in the Tri-State area) as Halloween season neared. Friday and Saturday nights were spent staying up late and falling asleep on the recliner after being petrified by Werewolf, Tales from the Darkside, and Freddy’s Nightmares.

As I got older there seemed to be less and less of the types of genre movies and shows that I loved to watch as a kid. I was hooked on Buffy The Vampire Slayer when it first aired. Presently, with shows like True Blood, and Vampire Diaries, I prefer to watch Supernatural and My Babysitter’s a Vampire because they’re not as much adventure/horror as they are a blend of drama and romance. Those shows seem blatantly geared toward women. I’m not looking for comedy, but it’s a special feeling I get when watching the Monster Squad – nobody makes stuff like that anymore. The closest I’ve seen is the animated show Gravity Falls on Disney Channel that seems to be directly influenced by Eerie, Indiana. It’s the combination of fun and spooky adventure that appeals to me. If you were brought up watching Scooby Doo as a kid, you probably watched Eerie, Indiana when you were a little older! I want to see more shows like this, how about you?

X-Files: The Jersey Devil

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Are there any homeless people in your town? I’m sure most towns have a few vagrants here and there, but the way the X-Files portrayed Atlantic City back in 1993 was atrocious. In the episode “The Jersey Devil,” America’s Playground was comprised of a bunch of dilapidated old buildings inhabited by a thousand homeless people living on the sidewalks. Adding to this nonsense, they somehow weaseled in THE MOST WHACKED OUT TAKE ON THE JERSEY DEVIL IN THE HISTORY OF TIME.

No one should have ever let this happen. On October 8th, 1993, the still new Fox show The X-Files aired it’s 5th episode “The Jersey Devil.” It’s an episode that will go down in infamy as not only the worst X-Files episode of all time, but the worst episode of any television show in the history of the universe. If that sounds too preposterous to you, you MUST go back and watch this episode. It’s streaming on Netflix if you are so inclined.

Thankfully, I only watched this episode a couple of weeks ago so I haven’t lived 19 years with the terrible memories it. I’ve been stewing over it since I watched it because it made me so furiously angry and confused. I couldn’t understand how such an embarrassing episode was green-lit to actually air on TV. I think I may have only watched one or two X-Files episodes in my entire life, but this was not one of them.

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There are so many things wrong with the episode. I’ll try to sum them up as briefly as possible for you. First of all, the plot was inaccurate and completely dumb. Here it is in a nutshell: A naked savage beast woman is THE JERSEY DEVIL. She normally lives in the Pine Barrens, but sometimes she goes to Atlantic City, no not on a senior bus trip, but on foot, and pillages the makeshift forts of HOMELESS people that seemed to comprise the entire span of Atlantic City. There’s been a report of a grisly murder in the Pine Barrens and Mulder wants the case so bad that he risks his life and his job to make it happen.

Eventually, beast woman of the Pines has a run in with Mulder (David Duchovny) but she eludes him. He then becomes obsessed with trying to track her down and apprehend her. After the nude savage cannibalistic beast woman goes and steals food from the garbage and terrorizes the homeless peeps of A.C, she stops at the Pool at Harrah’s to fist pump with DJ Pauly D. Ok, so that’s not how it went, but that would’ve been a way funnier story.

Beyond the plot there were other problems with this show. I couldn’t get over how bland the acting was. I realize there was supposed to be a certain chemistry between Mulder and Scully, but DAMN it was non-existent! Like George Carlin once said, “I’d rather watch flies f*ck” than watch these two interact with each other on the small screen. Duchovny’s acting seems to channel offbeat actors like Jeff Goldblum, but Goldblum’s idiosyncrasies and like-ability push him into the stratosphere while Duchovny acts like he’s a full frontal lobotomy patient. He’s monotone, and facially paralyzed. I realize some people worship this guy, but in this specific episode he made me question why he’s even an actor.

More puzzling is the fact that Duchovny was nominated for Golden Globe Awards for his performance in The X-Files. The Globe award staff must’ve been playing racquetball the night this episode aired. According to Wikipedia, after Duchovny read for the role during the casting process, the show creator Chris Carter thought he had “talked rather slowly” leading him to believe he was “not particularly bright.” He was playing an FBI agent, not a stoner!

Wikipedia ALSO notes that The Jersey Devil episode was “Pretty Silly,” and you know if Wikipedia says it, it’s 100% true! It comes down to this question: what does the Jersey Devil really look like? This episode will lead you to believe that J.D is a naked woman who lives in the woods, has animalistic tendencies, will kill people, eat garbage, and shoots down to A.C every now and again because there’s better tasting trash there.

Local myths legends are open to our interpretation, and I get that. It’s just that I believe if the Jersey Devil is going to be portrayed, he should be as scary and ferocious as many artists and accounts have described him over the years. And yes, something tells me it’s a HE, not a she.

What was that? You’re a fanatical X-Files fan and you are outright livid that I am insulting your blessed show? The X-Files obviously has a rabid fan base and this episode isn’t a classic example of how good it may have been. But don’t even bother defending the craptastic “Jersey Devil” episode. That’s not even a good silly adjective for it because most times things that are craptastic are actually good in a very crappy way, this one is soooo the complete opposite. Beware!

Gotham Shore by Bill Walko

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Gotham Shore by the phenomenal Bill Walko

Jumping the shark is an understatement – they fist pumped the shark. MTV’s Jersey Shore had it’s time in the sun, but it’s soooo time for it to come to and end. This week the show will begin it’s 6th and final season to the joy of loads of New Jerseyans. Let’s just hope Abed from Community doesn’t ask for it to get 6 seasons and a movie.

It was nice to have the show draw attention to our state, but the stupid stereotypes were and still are annoying. We were the brunt of jokes way before Jersey Shore premiered, and we’ll be the brunt of them 100 years from now, so it doesn’t matter either way. Now we have to deal with lame shows like Made in Jersey. In the future we’ll probably look back fondly on the Jersey Shore and get all fuzzy and nostalgic. Kids in future generations will say “What the hell is a Snooki?” to the amusement of their parents and then score millions of hits on YouTube.

*Artist Bill Walko who created the Batman/Jersey Shore mash-up above will be appearing at this year’s New York Comic Con. Stop over and check out his Deviant Art Page!

GREAT GEEK GORGE #5

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It’s A Living
If you’re a movie freak like me you probably have a fantasy list of movies that you wish were properly released on DVD. Sure, lots of movies and shows can be attained by buying bootleg versions on the Internet, but most of them have questionable quality and simply lack the sheen of an official release. As silly as it may sound, numero uno on my list is ’80s TV series It’s A Living starring Ann Jillian. At some point during the rest of my life, I want to be able to own the complete series on DVD. As mentioned by Gail Edwards, one of the shows stars on her website, the DVD may never come out because there are around 300+ songs used that the release company would have to pay to use. So, it looks like I won’t be getting my fill of my favorite waitresses unless people miraculously read this and start clamoring for the DVD, which is highly unlikely. Oh well, I still have the memories. Play it for me Sonny!
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Doritos Dinamita Nacho Picoso and Wheat Thins Spicy Buffalo
In the first edition of GGG I mentioned how I wasn’t impressed at all by the new Doritos Jacked chips. Over the summer I did find a new version of Doritos called Dinamita at Walmart that made up for them a little bit. The chip is rolled up like a taquito and is a few levels spicier and packs a bit more heat than usual. The question I find myself asking – why can’t they just keep making the few flavors of traditional Doritos? Why keep screwing with a good thing? What I enjoyed more than both of these Doritos versions were Wheat Thins Spicy Buffalo. I love these so much. Definitely try them if you are a fan of both Wheat Thins and buffalo flavor.

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Monster High Skull Shores
Frankie Stein Doll

Monster High Skull Shores
My shall we say fondness for Monster High dolls is about as well kept a secret as our former New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevy being gay. Hiding the fact that I love these macabre looking dolls is futile. I was immediately drawn to them when they came out 2 years ago. They are a perfect way to slyly incorporate the Universal Monsters into a kids toy line. They were released at the most perfect time too – I was actually thinking of starting to buy a few Living Dead Dolls at Monster Mania and Chiller to add to the collection, but luckily these came along. At first I tried to get my niece into them, but she didn’t seem too crazy about them. At this point I don’t own more than a few, but the latest one I picked up a few months back is my absolute favorite. In fact, if I had to part with the others that I have, this black and white Frankie Stein Skull Shores edition is quite enough for me.

Twitter
Certain things make people geek out. For me, it’s usually the little things that make me flip. As a kid all that needed to happen for me to go ballistic was getting an action figure that I always wanted and couldn’t seem to find. Back then it was a $3 dollar piece of plastic or rubber and I was a happy camper. Now my elation is even cheaper – it’s FREE! It comes in the form of a simple re-tweet or reply on Twitter from people I have basically idolized or have had a crushes on. Sure I’ve had retweets/replies from a ton of cool people, but over the summer 2 retweets managed to make my whole year. 
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Audrey Landers
Probably one of the longest crushes I’ve had on a celebrity is with Audrey Landers of Dallas fame and the film version of A Chorus Line. Ever since I was a kid I’ve been crazy about her. She replied to me after I sent her out a tweet saying that the new Dallas on TNT should have her back on the show. After a nice “thank you” reply I asked her if she would ever consider appearing at Chiller Theatre con in NJ and well what do you know? She and her sister will be at Chiller in October! Hopefully I’ll make it to her table without having my heart beat right out of my chest.

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King Kong Bundy
Getting retweeted by the walking condominium himself King Kong Bundy was a real avalanche into the turnbuckle. The legendary wrestling heel, Bundy, hails from Atlantic City, NJ. As a little wrestling fan in the ’80s, Bundy was one scary mofo in my eyes. He had a huge dominant presence and was one of the few guys who could legitimately scare people. After headlining Wrestlemania 2 and popping up in a memorable mixed tag match in Wrestlemania 3, Bundy returned to WWE in ’94. I was always a big fan of his and a retweet from him is something I’d love to go back in time and tell my young self about. Bundy retweeted the Instagram of me posted above in my King Kong Bundy T-Shirt standing on the Atlantic City boardwalk, the site of Wrestlemanias 4 and 5.

Anthony of House Soprano, Lord of New Jersey

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Counting the days until Game of Thrones Season 3? ME TOO! We still have a bit of time until March 31st, 2013, so in the mean time, I found this awesome Photoshop mash-up of two of HBO’s best shows ever: Game of Thrones and The Sopranos. If Jersey puts anyone on that throne, it would have to be Tony!

Toy Hunter Hunts In Jersey!

Toy Hunter

There always seems to be so much going on in the world of pop culture, comics, and toy collecting that I can’t keep up with it all. That’s why I feel Twitter is beneficial in trying to stay abreast of all the developments. If something passes me by, my tweeps are there to let me know about it and vice versa. (@sexyarmpit) One recent example was when Cool and Collected let me know that the premiere of the awesome new show Toy Hunter was filmed in New Jersey.

Toy Hunter takes the same basic concept of many other reality shows of the moment that deal with finding and buying vintage stuff. Instead of raiding storage lockers and junkyards, this toy obsessed guy, Jordan Hembrough, raids collectors attics, sheds, and basements to find items from their collection that he wants to buy in order to resell for profit.

Jordan is very enthusiastic and extremely knowledgeable about his hobby, which reminds me of myself and most of my blogging friends – you know who you are! As revealed in the first episode, Jordan is Jersey guy and the owner of Hollywood Heroes in Ridgewood, NJ. It was cool to see him mention Toms River, NJ and see other the locations that he dropped in on as well.

It was a real kick to see the Super Powers Batmobile and the Gobot cap guns on my TV screen. I never thought I’d see someone talking about this kind of stuff with the same reverence I have for these collectibles. At first, I did find it weird that the host went into a little description of what Colorforms were. Chances are, whoever is watching the Travel Channels presentation of the first episode of Toy Hunter about vintage collectible toys, they’ll know the concept behind Colorforms. His description did turn out to be beneficial for me though because he explained the history of Colorforms and the company’s early headquarters in New Jersey.

My only complaint is that the ending felt too contrived. The speeder bike pedal car that Jordan bought had a buyer by the end of the episode. Ultimately I think he sold it to a father for $1,000 for his young son to have it. There’s no father that I know personally who has that kind of scratch to drop on a toy that will probably collect dust!

Read a full recap with screen grabs at Cool and Collected:
http://coolandcollected.com/toy-hunter-jersey-shore-episode-recap-and-review/

New Jersey’s Great Pop Culture Moments Vol.65: Family Ties – The Keatons DO A.C!

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“Look at this Dad, fortunes won and lost, hearts broken, lives ruined, 
free drinks…this is what America is all about!” – Alex P. Keaton

The Keaton’s trip to Atlantic City didn’t quite reach the levels of hilarity that The Griswald’s Vegas Vacation did, but this trip took place 13 years before that and still it was still a lot of fun.

I watched Family Ties religiously as a kid and now I’m getting a chance to view some of my favorites all over again thanks to Netflix who offers every season streaming. Let’s look back at Family Ties Season 3 opener “The Gambler” that originally aired on September 20th, 1984. The episode saw The Keaton family make their way from Ohio to Atlantic City in order for Elyse to give a speech at an architect’s convention. Elyse’s speech gets tossed aside when a new she gets caught up in a new past time.

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Alex has developed a new gambling system called “The Alex Keaton Blackjack System” and he claims it’s “the work of a genius.” He’s pushing his parents to use the system (which he printed out in little booklets for them) at the tables once they get to the casino. Stuffy Elyse has no interest in gambling and she even tells her husband Steven that gambling is like throwing money away.

Elyse was more interested in the tourist aspect of Atlantic City rather than the abundant gambling opportunities. She explained to Alex that A.C is “the most exciting place on the east coast. It’s so rich in history, the old hotels, the beaches, the boardwalk.” “Gambling, mom don’t forget gambling!” Alex replied.

They get down to the hotel and Alex finally convinces his mom to go down to the casino and take a shot at some blackjack. Before they head down, Jennifer asks if they can order some room service. What was odd about the writing in this part of the episode is that although Elyse tells Mallory that maybe they will all get tickets to go see Tom Jones, right afterward she tells Jennifer that she can’t order room service because it’s too expensive. Was Elyse already beginning her descent into the dark underbelly of America’s Playground? The blonde bleeding heart mom was refusing her youngest (at that point) and hungriest child a meal, but she was all geared up to shell out wads of cash for Tom Jones? Where were her priorities? “What’s New Pussycast” or “What’s Wrong With My Malnourished Child?” It didn’t take long until the flashy and vibrant allure of Atlantic City broke Elyse’s will. Once she started winning she grew mystified. She was overcome by temptation and she kept winning. How could she quit now?

One of the reasons that I appreciated Family Ties was because its humor was smarter than many other shows of its time. It was amusing to see Elyse develop into a degenerate gambler because she is the last character you’d expect that to happen to. The fact that her son egged her on with a full methodized gambling plan laid out for her was quintessential Alex Keaton. At one point during Elyse’s blackjack binge, she tells Steven that she wants to move down to A.C and the kids can go to school “right here in the casino.” “They can learn the 3 R’s reading, writing and roulette!” Steven added sarcastically. Ah that’s good shit. They don’t make shows like this anymore. As much as I loved the humor in the show, naturally, the resolution was cheesy, as most sitcoms were back then. Ultimately, Elyse wins back all the money she wound up losing (and then some) and decides to give it to a midnight Church mission.

“OK, OK, let’s not panic here. I don’t think any pledge made at 3:30 in the morning 
is legally binding in the state of New Jersey…” – Alex P. Keaton

While the episode focused on what became a serious gambling addiction, Atlantic City has risen from some dark times and emerged as a much more family friendly trip than Las Vegas. If your young kids really want to complete their collection of cards advertising strip clubs or coupons for escort services, just bring ’em to Vegas! The streets aren’t littered with them! Of course I’m being facetious, but you won’t see any of that stuff on the A.C boardwalk or outside of its casinos. There may be a lot of weirdos on the A.C boardwalk, but that’s typical of most boardwalks worth walking.

Jersey girls should heed this episode as a warning. I know so many of you have this overwhelming desire to go to AC and gamble. Take it from Elyse Keaton and cash out while you are ahead so you can feed your starving children.

*Trivia Alert – In this episode, Elyse sticks Mallory with the task of presenting her speech. Later, Mallory comes back with a woman from the convention who has a question for Elyse about the relative advantages of wind power over solar power. That line hit me because it sounded like some kind of weird premonition on the part of the writers. Atlantic City opened the first coastal wind farm in the U.S about 20 years later in 2005 consisting of five huge wind turbines. WEIRD RIGHT?

…Cause I’m Saved By The Bell!

The latest Nerd Lunch Podcast is available NOW! It was so cool to be a guest on the show again. I joined C.T, Jeeg, and Aaron Nix from MovieHodgePodge.com and it was a wall to wall Saved By The Bell BLOWOUT! We honored the name of the show by seriously getting geeky with all the minute details and aspects of the show that may never have even crossed your mind! As we walked down the metaphorical hallways of Bayside High we exchanged opinions on everything from the various cast members to the spin-off shows. Get ready to ride low in your chair and pop your earbuds in for the latest Nerd Lunch podcast! Also available to download on iTunes!