Ad Jerseum 11: McDonald’s Toast To Jersey Girls

McDonald's Jersey Girl Billboard
McDonald’s Billboard after exit 12 on 287 North in NJ


“Toast Your Town” hardly sounds like a slogan to promote Big Macs. That’s because this time, Mcdonald’s isn’t pushing their burgers and fries. They are promoting their various “McCafe” specialty drinks and shakes via an ad campaign popping up throughout the Tri-State area. I’ve seen billboards from this campaign on major highways in New Jersey while there are also other local minded “Toast Your Town” ads around New York and New Jersey.

I pulled over and snapped a picture of this ad with the iPhone while driving on 287 Northbound. The billboard ad shows a hand holding a Frozen Strawberry Lemonade and toasting to “The Original Jersey Girl.” Perhaps I’m reading to deeply into it, but it seems to be attempting to appeal to the girls who lived in Jersey with big hair and listened to Bon Jovi and Skid Row in the ’80s. Oh wait, that was all of them. What I mean is, McDonald’s knows that many Jerseyans are fed up with shows like Jersey Shore featuring a couple of cast members who aren’t even from Jersey. How authentic! Now, if McD’s wanted to be really authentic they would start offering a Lime Rickey, a drink that’s become synonymous with Wildwood, NJ.

With a closer look you’ll notice there is a faint picture of the Statue of Liberty who is apparently the original Jersey Girl they are alluding to. Unfortunately, I have to put the kabosh on this whole idea because even after the hullabaloo that the island she sits on belongs to New Jersey, Miss Liberty is still technically a New Yorker.

As we learn in Anchorman, milk is a bad choice to drink on a hot summer day, so I’m sure the Frozen Strawberry Lemonade that McD’s is touting in the billboard pictured above, is slightly better. It’s not my drink of choice, but it may be yours, so keep in mind that it packs in 250 calories and 65 grams of sugar, but also offers a whopping 154 mgs of Vitamin C.

What do you think? Are advertisements geared to your own home state or city more effective than those that aren’t? Does this make you want to rush out and buy a drink at McDonald’s?

Ad Jerseum 4: AT&T on the GSP

Ad Jerseum: So much Jersey advertising it’ll make you vomit!

new jersey,cell phones,at&t

I really don’t care if you can or can’t hear me now. I don’t give a crap that you think Luke Wilson got fat. Who’s the biggest, who’s the best, 4G or 35G, who has the iPhone killer; the answers to all of these questions are meaningless. If only our brain power went into important things rather than worrying about how to swindle your way out of your cell contract and bypassing termination fees so you can switch and get that phone you really wanted. 

After seeing ads like the one pictured above, ATT may have convinced you to switch over to their service despite incessant complaints about it’s poor coverage. Perhaps seeing your future swayed your thinking a little bit. Millions of people drive the Garden State Parkway to head to the Jersey Shore in the summer, and God forbid you don’t have a cellphone! Do people forget the severe legal penalties that exist for talking on a cell phone while driving? I see about half of the people on the road yapping away without a care in the world. Ahh, who cares, right? In this advertisement, those cars are lined up in “full bars formation,” so as long as we have coverage to talk to our friend Melissa with the whiny Staten Island accent and the 4 foot long fingernails then all is right with the world.

Whether you’re using an iPhone, a Droid, a Blackberry, 2 tin cans with a string, or mental telepathy to communicate, it’s all B.S. The fact that I hear people on a daily basis engaging in heated debates about what cell phone carrier has the best service is complete idiocy. The bottom line is that all of the companies suck ass because they all provide mediocre service, atrocious customer service, and are ridiculously overpriced. You can buy the cheapest voice plan, but when you want a smartphone they tell you that you can’t have one unless you buy an unlimited or high priced data plan. You started out thinking you would save some cash by getting a cheap voice plan and then you wind up paying more than double thanks to the data plan and the various extra charges and fees. Who knows what those are for. At that point, you realize you’re paying $100 bucks a month so you can download one stupid ESPN app. What’s more important is the fact that many of us actually are paying over $100 bucks monthly for a single cell phone plan.

Please stop buying into all the hype. ATT vs. Verizon is like McDonald’s vs. Burger King and Pepsi vs. Coca Cola. We’ll never see the end of it, but can’t we stop with all the nonsense about coverage and if you can hear me know, and reliability, and missed calls? I personally don’t give a crap. IT’S A CELL PHONE FOR F-CKS SAKE! We’re not deciding the fate of the world here people! There are so many more important things that I’d prefer my mind get bombarded with during the duration of a day than having to listen to the public girl fighting between two ridiculously rich and greedy cell phone companies. 

Wireless providers should have learned long ago that lobbing lame insults at each other only makes them look weak, and it’s NOT what I call advertising. Bitching about each other is what happens in high school. Get the f-ck over yourselves. So to all the cell phone providers out there, Verizon, ATT, T-Mobile, Sprint, etc, you all need to MAN UP and learn how to make a convincing case for your product without acting like little immature children. And obvious New Jersey puns are off limits as well.

Ad Jerseum 3: Corona “This Island Jersey”

“Bundle up!” not cheery. pissed. have to walk outside in 19 degree weather. shovel. scoop. toss. shovel. brush snow off car. get into car. residual snow falls onto seat. sit down, ass gets wet. turn car on. crank up defroster. get out of car. scrape ice off windshield. spray de-icer on windshield. begin to drive even though glass still fogged up. “Can’t be late for work!” obviously not smiling. roll down window. more snow falls into car. stick head out so I can see where I’m going. wonder why I don’t live here:

NJ,corona,beer,ad,billboard

Believe it or not, I’ve been trying to track down a picture of this awesome billboard for a long time, but to no avail, until now. A few years back while on a train ride to New York City, I saw the same billboard as pictured above in Newark and thought it was one of the coolest beer ads ever. Corona ads have always taken a different approach from other beer brands. I praise Corona’s ad campaigns for making abundantly clear that they are a different breed than your average brew. This is cerveza. Sure, it’s easy to sell beer to frat boys. Bud, Miller Lite and Coors Light ads, all seem to say “I’m a masculine guy who loves sports and sexy women who love sports, now let’s get wasted!” Listen up, I’m not giving Corona props just because they were brazen enough to feature the Garden State in one of their ads, but they actually do present themselves in a more sophisticated light.

The regional aspect of this billboard accomplished more than what an average ad could. Back on that train ride, I took a glimpse of the billboard for a fleeting second but the image stuck with me. Momentarily, my mind was whisked away to the alluring, mysterious, and deserted island of New Jersey where beer runs from bathroom faucets and the warm ocean water is blue and the sand is soft and white. This visual only works for a few seconds until I abruptly flashback to what I actually have to deal with on a daily basis. In the winter, I wait about a minute and a half for my faucet water to become luke warm, so let me verify that no beer comes out. Then of course, our ocean water is usually frigid, which is more scary than refreshing even on sweltering days, and it’s dirty, nay, probably contaminated. The sand? Fuggedaboutit. Broken shells, cigarette butts, garbage, mashed up jellyfish, crab carcasses, used condoms; It’s all displayed for you like an unexpected putrid potpourri. You thought a vacation at the Jersey Shore was supposed to be all fried Oreos and Snookie? Ha. It’s a tough call but I’m going to say that Corona’s imaginary Jersey Island is intensely more appealing. I can envision myself right now relaxing on the beach, with my feet massaged into the soft white sand and the only thing I might have to defog is my sunglasses.
*A big thanks goes out to Michael William Sullivan for taking this perfect shot of the Corona Billboard. I’ve gone to several lengths to get a hold of this ad directly from Corona and the ad agency who created it, but neither were helpful.  It would seem that presenting an ad on a blog could only mean free advertising for the product, right? Maybe next time when The Sexy Armpit knocks on their door they’ll give up the goods. Check out all of Michael William Sullivan’s excellent photography here at his Deviant Art page.

Ad Jerseum 1: Geico Gecko Inside Loews Jersey Theatre

Welcome to our new column, 
Ad Jerseum: So much Jersey advertising it’ll make you vomit!

A marketing company would be hard pressed to find a more lush and ornate theater to film a commercial in than the Landmark Loews Jersey Theatre. Opened in 1929, and noted for being “the most lavish temple of entertainment in New Jersey,” The Loews Theater in Journal Square, Jersey City has hosted classic movie premieres, marathons, live music, and has also added commercials to its repertoire.

Geico recognized the beauty of this legendary theater and filmed a couple of commercials at the Loews Jersey. The company’s knack for creating memorable and effective TV ads is well defined. Their bank account must be on par with Scrooge McDuck’s because according to Wikipedia, Geico spent around $750 million dollars on advertising in 2007. Part of Geico’s clever catalogue are two commercials, one featuring Charlie Daniels, and the other featuring our favorite British gecko, Martin.

Charlie Daniels should have performed “The Devil Goes Down to Jersey!”
Martin the Geico Gecko gives the hard sell in the lobby of the Loews Jersey Theatre:

There are so many awesome events coming to The Loews Jersey, especially on March 19th-21st, 2010, when the Saturday Nightmares Horror Convention will take place! Please visit the official Loews Jersey website for their full schedule of events and ticket info.

Guitar Smashing on Saturn

I’ve always been a stickler for a good ad campaign. Unfortunately it’s been a while since I’ve been really impressed by one. Just this morning though, I came across a great internet ad on Yahoo’s Launch music site. It’s for Saturn and you can hold the mouse button down on a Fender guitar and move it around to smash it and break the shit out of it. It was awesome. I thoroughly enjoyed smashing my guitar. In real life I probably wouldn’t have smashed an expensive guitar like that. Knowing me I would do the complete opposite. I would purposely stand 10 feet away from it. Regardless, what a friggin great ad. Go smash some guitars bitch!