The hot, blazing summer has come for all of us. Just think, if we make it out alive we are one step closer to the Halloween season! At least that’s my incentive to persevere through these hellish, humid days. Even though it’s my least favorite season, I admit that theres so much to enjoy about it. If you can deal with swamp ass and drenching back sweat then you’ll have no problem appreciating the finer things that the summer has to offer. To encapsulate it all into one tiny nostalgic trip, The Purple Stuff Podcast is very excited to bring to you SUMMER SATURDAYS! We look at this as a way for you to savor the summer while sipping Shasta cans in the yard.
What is Summer Saturdays you ask? Essentially, me and Matt will be bringing you a new podcast every Saturday throughout July focusing on some of the highlights of summer for us. We’ll be presenting a variety of different themes during this extravaganza, but first, to kick things off, we have a music show for you compiling our summer playlists. You know us by now, we intentionally try to avoid the typical fare in favor of spotlighting the slightly more obscure stuff.
Whacked out is the best way to describe the variety on this episode. From songs heard in horror films to more songs heard in horror films to a member of the Mickey Mouse Club, to The Lost Boys on the beach, to fun with Phoebe Cates it’s just bananas. Check this one out if you’re chilling by your pool, doing yard work, *PAINTING THE FENCE, or just living that sloth life on your couch in the air conditioning. It’s a fun way to kick off your summer and we’ve got a lot more in store for you this month so stay tuned!
Thank you for listening to the show! If you would like to support The Purple Stuff Podcast we greatly appreciate your help! You can spread the word to friends IRL, leave us a positive review on iTunes, share us on social media, or join in the fun on our Patreon where we present a monthly bonus show exclusively for our “Patronies.” Thanks again and we hope your summer kicks ass.
*Can you name what movie this references? That’s another hint to a movie that gets brought up in this episode thanks to the awesome summer song!
Christmas Wonderland at Maple Leaf Farms, Route 9 South, Manalapan, NJ
Finding quirky and offbeat stuff to do for Halloween seems to be super easy for me. Christmas on the other hand, there doesn’t seem to be nearly as much going on. It’s ironic to think about because Christmas is such a mega holiday in terms of spending and venturing out to holiday themed events with the fam. As you may have guessed, I’m not really one for the typical nonsense. For example, I ice skated once in my life and although I didn’t bust my ass, I felt like any second I could plummet into the darkest regions of hell. It was not fun. Sliding around in circles on ice, while balancing on a thin, sharp blade is not my idea of fun, especially in the cold. Going to see the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree is always an annual “must” for locals, but I’ve been there, done that a million times. Nowadays it’s even more of a hassle because the vicinity around the tree is so crowded with tourists, and as crotchety as that makes me sound, it’s even worse than you could imagine. I get claustrophobic in crowds and it isn’t just there, Manhattan in general during the holidays that gets overwhelmingly packed with people. So not my jam.
I had way more fun lounging on the couch sipping Diet Cranberry Ginger Ale and watching The Christmas Chronicles on Netflix than I could ever have battling holiday traffic and crowds. Ugh, such nonsense! If I sound like Scrooge, then I can’t argue. Recently, an esteemed colleague at work affirmed this very sentiment for me. She told me that during the holidays she goes away to Florida to her summer home (must be nice!) and for the entire stretch of the season she relaxes with her husband and they literally don’t do a damn thing except snack and watch movies on the couch. She went even deeper to declare that is what the holidays are all about for her. Not to beat a dead horse, but I recently learned that my co-host on The Purple Stuff Podcast, Matt from Dino Drac, feels the exact same way.
While I always consider myself a champion of vegetating on the couch whenever possible, conversely I may be a bigger proponent of devising elaborately stacked plans of themed things to do. What can I say? Points of interest pique my interest and Clark Griswold has always been one of my idols. Maximizing the fun is one of my main objectives in life.
I didn’t want to piss this holiday season away without some actual merry making. After a lot of useless Googling, it felt like finding a unique, Christmassy thing to do in Jersey was becoming hopeless. But, right around the moment when I was about to give up, we drove passed Maple Leaf Farms on the way home one night. I noticed a sign that said “Christmas Wonderland,” as I swung an abrupt General Lee style turn into the parking lot. The building’s exterior is similar to any other run of the mill country store, except for being adorned with an over-sized, inflatable Santa Claus. The best part about this is that I had no idea what to expect inside. Would it be a bunch of crafts, wooden soldier centerpieces, and cinnamon sticks OR would we be delighted by a decked out display of endearing decor? That sentence was Heavy on the D.
Watch the video to see what I discovered inside the Christmas Wonderland. If you don’t have 5 minutes to spare, it was a sight to behold and totally lived up to its namesake! This traditional walk through, accompanied by a laid back Christmas playlist running throughout the space, is comprised of animatronics that the proprietor has rescued from old store window displays, malls, and various other means. He restored them superficially as well as their electronic components inside that made them seem magically alive in their heyday. It’s like he is a human droid factory. After speaking with him about his undying attention to detail and his commitment to the Christmas spirit, his goal was creating a vintage Christmas vibe and he succeeded, and then some.
My nostalgia needle was off the charts in this place. In a world of Nintendo Switch and Occulus Rift, these old school animatronic characters may not bowl a lot of you over since our technology expectations are so far beyond them, but these are the kind of novelties that I absolutely love to gaze at. My affection for them can be likened to why I love the old Telco Motionettes. Those were like the home versions of these little dudes! Inside the Wonderland, the snowmen move in slow motion, Goofy’s arm goes up and down, and there’s even a little tribute to the time Santa conquered those Martians! Snow covered Christmas trees are set up in every corner and adorning the pipe and draped halls leading to each next display were actual Christmas themed product ad posters from the old days bestowing that extra spoonful of authenticity. Just when you think it’s over, the finale leads you to a BIG room with the BIG jolly man himself. That’s right, pictures with Santa are included with your minimal entrance fee.
Experiencing this throwback to simpler times was a much needed little break from the world. Take the family on a little drive to Manalapan, NJ down route 9 for a dose of Christmas cheer before the season is out and see for yourself. There’s a TON of heart and LOADS of Christmas spirit poured into this and making it a success will ensure that it continues every year!
Pursuit of maintaining childlike wonder requires excitement, even for the simplest things. Submitted for your approval: ICE CREAM.
The newest episode of The Purple Stuff Podcast is a big one. It’s all about some of the most outstanding ice cream and frozen treats. You need not be an expert on every single offering in your grocer’s freezer or every single Good Humor variation displayed on the side of your neighborhood ice cream truck to enjoy this one. Once you start thinking about your favorite frozen treats from throughout your life, the floodgates open. This is what happened to Matt and I in this episode. There were so many great ones that we had to try to squeeze them all in!
There’s a brain freezing treat awaiting everyone who listens to this one. Maybe you dig Italian ices? Maybe you are a soft serve type of person? Or you may be a fan of one of the more obscure ice pops that was only sold in one section of the world in 1991? No matter what, it’s pretty safe to say that everyone has a special spot for some kind of frozen treat so this one celebrates that. Memories of hot summer days chasing down the ice cream truck will rush back into your mind. Remember when you would eat a colored ice cream pop and your mouth, lips, and tongue all turned that color? Fortunate for us, the summer is almost here so we are celebrating that feeling by digging deep into our memories and telling you all about a slew of our ultimate Ice Cream entries.
In this episode we will touch on everything from shark pops to alien cakes to great balls of ice cream. It’s a creamy and delicious audio compendium of our favorite frozen treats. Please subscribe on iTunes, Stitcher, Google Play Music or Podbean, OR you can check it out at the link above!
It’s that time of the year again! The weather starts cutting out the below zero temps and gives us that Spring feeling of being alive again. Although the Fall is by far my favorite season, Spring is second, but not because of blooming flowers…because of booming bodyslams! That’s right, its time to celebrate the WWE’s grandest event of the year, WrestleMania! Even if the last time you watched WWE was when Stone Cold Steve Austin was still the champ, you can still hop back on board at any time. Right now is the best time because WrestleMania is always a fun time. Hardcore fans dissect every event and suck the goodness out of everything, but this is one block of 4 hours each year that I dive completely into the pro-wrestling zone and enjoy it as if I were 5 years old again. It’s actually pretty refreshing, and maybe even more-so if you are not super into the WWE world. If you aren’t jaded to all of it you may even have more of a blast than many of us critical bastards! Regardless, here are 6 tips on maximizing your WrestleMania day:
Eliminate interruptions. You may be tempted to hop on Twitter or scroll through your Instagram feed during any lulls, but trust me, it can wait. You’ll have time during the Kid Rock promo so plan the social media breaks strategically. Many bands have banned cell phones at their concerts, so take a cue from The Misfits and enjoy WrestleMania as if it was the ’80s and early ’90s when you weren’t bogged down by the damn phone. I’m sure I will get texts during the show, but unless it’s an emergency, it can wait! When The Goddess is on TV, everything else gets put on hold.
2. Drink. Doesn’t have to be liquor. If you aren’t into that, get a lot of Root Beer or Mountain Dew on ice. You will need to have an excuse to run to the bathroom if a match starts to bore you out of your smoking skull. (that’s a Stone Cold reference if you didn’t catch it!)
3. Set up a comfortable viewing area, but not too comfortable! You want the pillows and blankets, but don’t accidentally promote a sleeping environment for you and your squad. This is a mistake. There’s plenty of time for that later on. If this is your first WWE event in a while, it will feel like it’s 17 hours.
4. Food! You can actually get winded just by living vicariously through watching these super athletes do what they do best so you will need nourishment. My advice is to balance out the crap with some good healthy stuff. Sounds boring, but you’ll thank me afterward! If you’re eating nothing but garbage all day and night, by the end of the event you’ll want to bust. You’ll feel like an alien is ripping out of your stomach. It’s worthwhile to cut up some fruits and veggies and drink water here and there. You have to pace yourself between all the Doritos and buffalo wings.
5. Treat the day like it’s a holiday. For me, WrestleMania has always been a holiday. To some, The Super Bowl is the big day, but for me this is monumental. Even if it winds up sucking, there’ so much excitement and enthusiasm on this day. The memories of Mania’s past come rushing back and you can enjoy them all day long if you have the WWE Network. With all great holidays, reminiscing is a major part of them and this is no different. You might wear an ugly sweater to a Christmas party, so be sure to wear your favorite Wrestler’s t-shirt or hat. I can’t forget this one, the music! We listen to Christmas carols during Christmas and spooky music during Halloween, so get your bluetooth speaker out and stream WWE music all day long, heck, all weekend long! And since you’re going to be up late and all pumped, think about taking the next day off. They won’t kill you.
6. LISTEN TO THE NEWEST EPISODE OF THE PURPLE STUFF PODCAST! The newest episode of The Purple Stuff Podcast is all about inconsequential aspects of all the WrestleManias so far. Matt from Dinosaur Dracula and I have compiled 10 pieces of minutiae that we find interesting enough to talk about for an hour. Topics include, The Undertaker’s outrageous act, A whacked out Piper’s Pit, The Mistress of the Dark, and the greatest pro wrestling entrance of all time! Check it out on iTunes, Stitcher, Podbean, and the Google Play store! Thanks for tuning in.
Now, let’s take you down to our broadcasting team of Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse “The Body” Ventura…
The Purple Stuff Podcast returns from beyond the grave! Matt from Dinosaur Dracula and I fielded your creepy questions on the show’s Twitter account @purplestuffpod and there was a resounding response! Thanks for sending them in! We had a slew of great Halloween/Horror-centric ones, but we were only able to answer a select batch of them. Hope you enjoy hearing our answers and we’d like to hear yours as well! Have a Happy Halloween and thanks for listening!
Shit is crazy, yo. That’s about the best I could come up with for an opening line.
During previous Halloween seasons, I’ve been able to ramp up the lead-up to my Halloween Specials. I loved posting a production journal on here for at least one or two of them, but it wasn’t in the cards this time. This year, even though free time is basically non-existent, I still magically whipped up a special, with the help of my friends of course! I ran into a bunch of speed bumps on the way.
A whole script basically went into the trash. I wrote this pretty epic script that, once it was too late, I realized would be entirely too much to film. Not so much about the length, but even the logistics, locations, and money. Although I love the script and it had absolutely everything in it, I came to terms with the fact that I just couldn’t pull it off so late in the game. I swore I would write the script early in the year that way it would give us extra time to film, storyboard, and even block everything out like actual filmmakers. Wrote it early I did. Threw it away late I did as well. To say I was pissed off at myself for wasting so much time and effort was an understatement. Continue reading THE SEXY ARMPIT HALLOWEEN SPECIAL 2017
To us, Halloween has officially kicked off, thanks to Dino Drac posting his first video of the season. Of course, The Purple Stuff Podcast’s Halloween celebration had already been in full swing with our new minisodes. We bring you a spooky new installment that is sure to be the perfect antidote for those who still think it’s too early to celebrate Halloween! (It’s never too early!)
In this episode, me and Matt drive to Philly to check out an Escape Room that he read about. This attraction wasn’t your run of the mill escape room as you can gather from the picture above. We entered an escape room that was basically Castle Dracula, our favorite haunted attraction of all time. We’ll tell you all about our excursion trying to find the place and what we encountered inside! It was a total blast. There couldn’t be a more perfect way to get into the vibes of the season. I’m getting excited just thinking about it.
As always, thanks for listening and reading! Please subscribe on iTunes and leave us a bunch of stars if you dig the show!
In this video I show off The Sexy Armpit & Cryptocurium’s exclusive limited edition Sammi Curr sculpture. We are so pumped to bring this to you. There will be 31 of them up for pre-order tomorrow 8/18 at Noon Eastern time, so don’t miss out!
The Purple Stuff Podcast’s 2nd Halloween Minisode is now available! In this episode, we decided to document our trip to the dine-in movie theater. Obviously, we wanted to see something spooky and Annabelle Creation was the perfect choice. I’m a big fan of the films in The Conjuring universe, although Matt hasn’t really seen them. In this abbreviated episode we run down the details of the trailers we saw, the food we ordered, and maybe even a little bit about the movie too! We hope you enjoy this fun little installment of The Purple Stuff Podcast. You can subscribe to us on iTunes and if you want to support the show, leave us a positive review on there! Thanks for reading and listening!
This is an ultra-limited run of 31! Pre-orders for this horror-metal masterpiece will begin on Friday, August 18th at The Cryptocurium Etsy store.
I’m extremely excited to announce The Sexy Armpit’s first exclusive collectible. This incredible sculpture of Sammi Curr from one of my favorite horror films, Trick or Treat, is a result of collaborating with my friend Jason McKittrick from The Cryptocurium. It’s quite a tag-team of New Jersey horror freaks and it’s been a long time in the making! Jason’s homemade horrors speak for themselves. His creations are sculpted and painted by hand and are versatile since they include magnets on the back as well as a d-ring if you want to hang them on the wall. With unparalleled artistry, he handcrafted a brand new vision of Rock’s Chosen Warrior! I can actually hear Fastway blasting in the background every time I look at this beaut. This is a must-own for Trick or Treat fans and horror fans in general. Do whatever you need to do to get this mega limited , crash the Etsy server if you have to. If you pre-order you’ll have it in time for Halloween. Show your support for Sammi and The Sexy Armpit by purchasing this over the top cool sculpture. Once you receive it, be sure to tag @SexyArmpit and @Cryptocurium! #NoFalseMetal