Back From Hiatus!

 

If you’re wondering where I’ve been, I haven’t gone anywhere, although I was distracted from blogging temporarily. I am back now though. During the short hiatus I did some writing for New Jersey’s most famous news outlet The Star Ledger/NJ.com. I covered one of my favorite things, WWE’s Wrestlemania – right here in New Jersey, and it was quite an awesome moment in my life. To top it off, the live broadcast of WWE Monday Night Raw from Izod Center (which was said to have the greatest crowd in recent history) the day after ‘Mania, showed a screen shot of one of my live reports during a montage. Being a small part of that show felt phenomenal.

A few other major events have been going on in personal life as well. Two of my close friends are getting married within the same week this month and I’m in both wedding parties. One of the guys is Mike @idiotatplay who co-stars in The Sexy Armpit show on our YouTube channel. Mind you, getting all dressed up is not something that I truly enjoy, but for these guys I don’t mind at all, and Mike’s letting us wear Chuck Taylor’s with the tuxedo’s, so it’s all good!

Wrestlemania Week Begins!

 photo wm29promo07NJsm_zps307861d0.jpg
I came up with the ad for how a New Jersey Wrestlemania should look!
We’ve been waiting a whole year since the announcement that Wrestlemania 29 would emanate from Metlife Stadium in East Rutherford, NJ. Finally, the time is upon us! LIVE from the home of the Giants and the Jets, Wrestlemania 29 all goes down on Sunday April 7th, 2013 live on Pay-Per-View.

It’s been a long standing battle as to why the Giants and the Jets are referred to as New York teams when they actually play in New Jersey. The same thing is happening with Wrestlemania 29. All of the official logos and advertisements feature a NY/NJ combo rather than just NJ where the venue clearly is. I can understand the fact that the venue and the teams that play in it are shared by NY and NJ, but in wrestling terms there should be no debate.
I took it upon myself to bury this nonsense by fixing the official Wrestlemania ad. Rather than show The Rock, Brock Lesnar, and John Cena, like the original, I replaced them all with wrestlers from New Jersey. Featured in The Sexy Armpit version of the Wrestlemania ad is the late Bam Bam Bigelow, the walking condominium King Kong Bundy, Diamond Dallas Page, one of my favorite indie wrestlers Jay Lethal, and present WWE Superstar A.J Lee. Notice A.J is proudly wearing her Sexy Armpit C.M Punk style t-shirt.
It doesn’t stop there for the Jersey-fied ad. Not only is the Jersey City skyline pictured in the distance, but there’s also a special attraction match!
This grudge match will settle the score for who is more Jersey. Jersey Shore inspired wrestler Robbie E. of TNA Wrestling facing off against Randy “The Ram” Robinson who lives in New Jersey in one of my favorite films, The Wrestler. Considering Robbie E. was mentioned in the movie, this would be a cool match to see. Randy “The Ram” feels that Robbie E. is making a mockery of his home state and Robbie E. feels that The Ram is all washed up. *We’ve confirmed that Randy survived his last match against the Ayatollah and he has clearance from his doctor to wrestle.

GREAT GEEK GORGE #6: Christmas 2012 Edition

Photobucket

A few friends have asked me what kind of cool stuff I got for Christmas. I told them that in due time they’ll be able to read all about it at The Sexy Armpit. See, that’s the beauty of having a blog. I avoid having to rattle off the same list of things at different times to handfuls of people. I decided to incorporate a run-down of some of the awesome 2012 Christmas gifts I got into one of my favorite columns here, the Great Geek Gorge.

I can’t say that I actually had anything specific that I wanted for Christmas this year, but I did indeed drop a few hints at some items that were bouncing around in my brain.

Christmas 2012

It’s hard for my family and Miss Sexy Armpit’s family to buy me any kind of media. Buying me a DVD or a CD will usually be futile since I have thousands of them and it will most likely be a duplicate. I’m maturing a bit though. Or should I say I’ve been practicing restraint? I waited on buying The Dark Knight Rises and the WWE’s C.M Punk documentary on Bluray because I knew Christmas was coming up, so I threw that idea out there to Miss Sexy Armpit and her mom got them for me! It was like magic.

Miss Sexy Armpit did a great job picking up cool gifts for me as always. She got me a Batman plush “pillow” and throw blanket. I don’t see how the plush doll is a pillow but maybe since it’s geared toward boys they didn’t want to explicitly describe it as a doll or plush toy. Either way, it’s pretty awesome and I had a similar Superman doll like that but from the Knickerbocker company when I was a kid.

Before I get to the big crowd-pleasers there were a few things that I didn’t ask for, but I was still very happy to receive. First I got an awesome black cross with a diamond in it on a chain as well as a pair of work out pants. There was also an awesome K’nex KISS set, a USB salt rock lamp for my desk, and a knit hat with ear buds built in. Then, there aren’t many other ways to describe it but here it goes – a Coach “man purse,” It’s more like a mini backpack, but really there’s no other way around it. At the end of the day it’s still going to be referred to as a man purse. It’s pretty swank though. It’s a step up from my old TV Guide duffel bag that they sent me for free. I can understand not wanting to be seen in public with a guy carrying that around, especially while on vacation.

For those who know me or follow me on Twitter (@sexyarmpit) I’ve been obsessed with A&E’s Storage Wars for the last few months. I’m not into the other variations on the show, just the original incarnation. My favorite is Barry Weiss – that guy cracks me up. He always puts on these black skeleton gloves before he picks stuff out of lockers and I wanted a pair of my own.

The gloves and the next item you’ll read about were the only items I actually threw out as ideas for Christmas. I was a little sad that I didn’t get the gloves after my girlfriend and I exchanged gifts, but then, soon after, I was ecstatic when Miss Sexy Armpit’s mom got them for me!

Jay and 24-inch Gene SimmonsOne KISS collectible that I always wanted but never got my hands on was a limited edition 24-inch Gene Simmons statue by a budding (at the time) New York toy company called Art Asylum. The statue was part of the full band collection and created in the comic book style of the Destroyer album cover art. When pushed in, the statue’s base plays “God of Thunder.” The 24 inch line was sold at Spencer Gifts in 1999 and they each retailed for about $150.00. Back then it was too pricey for me. Nowadays a full set mint in box would probably go for close to $1,000. although I’m no Toy Hunter. Jordan Hembrough would probably ask $1300!

Around the time their big comeback record Psycho Circus, the KISS craze was on again worldwide. Toys, t-shirts, and comics filled stores like Spencer’s and KISS fans were going nuts buying everything in sight. The 24 inchers were the highest quality figures at the time, but with KISS fans you have to pick and choose what to spend money on, especially back then. There were concert tickets to be purchased, and plenty of other items that I lusted after, so I tried to ignore the most ultimate Gene Simmons figure I’d ever seen. Then, years later, at KISS cons and on eBay, the prices increased a bit.

Aside from my KISS fountain that spews blood out of Gene’s mouth, dubbed “The Gene Simmons Vomitizer” by Sebastian Bach on an episode of MTV Cribs (which coincidentally Miss Sexy Armpit ALSO got for me for Christmas one year), this giant limited edition figure is the Holy Grail of Gene Simmons collectibles in my opinion. It was hot on my mind and I figured I’d tell Santa, Miss Sexy Armpit, or anyone who would listen that I wanted this giant Gene for Christmas. So what if I was 14 years late on the mark?

Miss Sexy Armpit came through and continued to feed my KISS habit! She also came up with the idea to customize a pair of Sexy Armpit sunglasses for me. These are very cool pilot style sunglasses made by a company called Vaunt – check them out! The Sexy Armpit logo and name are etched into the lenses! The company can put anything you want on the lenses so it’s a cool gift idea!

Thank you to everyone who made this Christmas kick ass for The Sexy Armpit!

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 99: Summerslam ’89

Photobucket

Vintage wrestling t-shirts ain’t no joke! For my entire life I’ve always heard that wrestling is “corny” and “cheesy.” The same people who used to criticize me for watching such “garbage” are the same ones who are secretly scouring eBay for an original Don “The Rock” Muraco t-shirt. Good luck paying anything less than $100 bucks for that one! Wrestling tees used to mean a lot more to the fans since the superstars weren’t given a new t-shirt to promote every month like they are now. Back in the ’70s and ’80s the guys were known to make their entrance with the same style shirt for years.

Hulk Hogan had “Hulkamania,” Rowdy Roddy Piper had “Hot Rod,” and many years later Steve Austin was known for his “Austin 3:16” shirt. Even a fairly short lived tag team like The Powers of Pain had their own shirt that can be found on eBay for a pretty penny. How much is a pretty penny you ask? Oh say about $150 bucks!

Photobucket 

Collectors and sellers know that you can’t roll down to your local Target store and buy an original, vintage wrestling tee which is why they hike up the prices. No wonder eBay has got the corner on the market. It’s more about nostalgia nowadays and even pro-wrestling naysayers just want a piece of these shirts to be hip and old school. Well screw those people, they don’t deserve to be near a shirt as great as this. But back to the matter at hand, one store specifically, dirt_road_trading, offers an original 1989 Summerslam t-shirt.

The WWF’s summer extravaganza was only in it’s 2nd year and emanated from the Meadowlands Arena in East Rutherford, NJ. There’s no better time to discuss this shirt than now since WWE is presenting their next installment of Summerslam this Sunday and it’s being billed as the 25th anniversary of the event.

I remember back in the day, getting a t-shirt that was specially produced for a Pay-Per-View event was a big deal since it usually had the main event and some matches printed on the back of it. A commemorative t-shirt meant the event was huge! During that time the WWF put a little more effort and quality into their products by offering more than just a tee with a Summerslam logo on the front. I bet the tee was about $15 bucks back then, $20 at most if it was an adult size. Now it’s going for $100 dollars so that’s quite a jump. Be careful though, if you buy it and put it on, it might turn to dust!

This shirt kicked ass, and it was probably better than the event itself! Wait a second…the event was August 28th, 1989? The event was on a Monday night! What a downer! It’s hard enough to get through the work day coming off a weekend let alone the anticipation of seeing one of the top events in the wrestling industry adding to it! Although Summerslam ’89 didn’t quite live up to the previous year’s event, it still had a few strong points. You can read my synopsis of the ’89 Summerslam HERE and it’s program/event card HERE.

GREAT GEEK GORGE #4

Photobucket
The Dark Knight Rises Tickets

Dark Knight Rises Tickets
These have been burning a hole in my pocket since June 11th. I’m almost in disbelief that it’s a little over a WEEK away! The wait is finally over!

Wawa 

Wawa
If you’re from Pennsylvania or New Jersey then you are most likely familiar with the greatness of Wawa. During our recent trip to Wildwood, Miss Sexy Armpit and I stopped at the Doo-Wop styled Wawa to get our favorite sweet cream cheese stuffed pretzels that they make. I’m not a big preztel guy, but this thing is so delicious. I also ordered a banana smoothie which was very simple: it’s basically made of ice, a dairy blend, and 2 bananas. It’s the best banana smoothie ever. If you are lucky enough to have a Wawa by you they also sell all kinds of coffee, subs, breakfast sandwiches, and some of the best iced tea around.

Changes to Supergirl Costume
I’m usually the guy who opposes the unnecessary modifications and modernizations of superhero costumes. In 1989 when the first photos of Michael Keaton’s Batman costume were released I wasn’t even phased because it looked so friggin’ cool. It was a major change color-wise, but it was still extremely faithful to the traditional bat-costumes through the years. One costume I never ever thought should be changed was Superman’s. In the upcoming Man of Steel movie his costume has been tweaked to make it seem more realistic and modern like they did in Batman Begins. I still can’t get used to such drastic changes. Don’t get me wrong, I am all for the characters evolving with the times, but sometimes I feel like changes are made just for the hell of it. In the newest Supergirl comic book line from DC Comics, she has a more modern look as well and surprisingly I’m not against it. The deeper I got into the series the more I thought the costume was cool. What do you think? Yay or Nay?
House of Blues Bathroom 

Men’s Room – House of Blues, Atlantic City
Usually going to a public bathroom isn’t too exciting unless you’re going in there for purposes other than actually using the facilities. While it’s not anything as upscale as the Borgata or Water Club, the

men’s room in the House of Blues in Atlantic City kept me distracted for several minutes as I stared at all the pinup and retro tattoo style art on the walls. Pictured above is a glimpse of a cute sailor girl on the wall near the entrance.

Squinkies at 80s Burger King
Zack Ryder, Yoshi Tatsu, Goldust, and Hornswaggle go for lunch at an ’80s BK

Fixation with 1980s Burger King
Unlike most of my friends when I was growing up I always preferred Burger King over McDonalds. My Dad used to take me to the BK at the old pre-90s Menlo Park Mall and I absolutely loved every second of it. To say I miss the old look of the exterior of BK is an understatement. I wish they’d bring back their old logo and the uncreepy version of the Burger King who did magic tricks. I still have my BK doll with the “incredible” disappearing hamburger trick.

Squinkies
I did the best I could. Actually I’m lying. I didn’t. I gave a feeble attempt at resisting Squinkies but I just couldn’t do it. It’s not an all out obsession either. I’m not even interested in the G.I Joe or Star Wars Squinkies – only the WWE series. A couple of my favorites are pictured above, heading in to get some Whoppers at my ’80s BK model. For being such minute bits of rubber they are highly detailed with comical and often flat out absurd facial expressions and likenesses of the real wrestlers. They remind me of the simple and stupid crap toys from the red nickel machines (or are they quarter machines now?) you see when exiting Toys R Us.

WWE’s No Way Out From East Rutherford, NJ!

Photobucket
WWE’s next Pay-Per-View, No Way Out is emanating from the IZOD Center in East Rutherford, NJ on Father’s Day, June 17th 2012. The print ads and TV commercials for the event are done in an old-timey style and feature Daniel Bryan and his now ex-onscreen girlfriend, A.J. It will be a homecoming for A.J who is one of our past Garden State Playmates and hails from Union City, NJ. The poster pictured above is available from the WWE Shop via this link. The matches are listed below – as always, the card is subject to change.

C.M Punk vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Kane in a Triple Threat Match for the WWE Championship
John Cena vs. The Big Show in a Steel Cage
Shaemus vs. Dolph Ziggler for the World Heavyweight Championship
Christian vs. Cody Rhodes for the Intercontinental Championship
Brodus Clay vs. David Otunga (Pre-Show)

GREAT GEEK GORGE #2

Photobucket
Welcome to the 2nd installment of the Great Geek Gorge. My latest rundown includes cool stuff I’ve procured, movies I’ve seen, and food I’ve devoured. I’m getting to a point where I have so much media to take in I don’t know where to start. Between DVD’s to watch and books to read there’s not enough time in a weekend to enjoy it all. The real question is, where do I begin?

Photobucket 


Thunder Punch He-Man and WWE Rumblers – For several years I had my toy habit in check. I was in total control. The downward spiral began when I became the owner of one of Miss Sexy Armpit’s best friend’s old curio cabinet. The illuminated cabinet had shelves with glass doors and it gave me the perfect excuse to run rampant down virtual toy aisles and ebay to fill up any open space on the shelves. Folks, trust me, this is not a good idea and I don’t recommend it unless you just won the Mega Millions. If you were the winner, you go to sleep with a smile on your face, while I go to sleep knowing that I have the brand spanking new Thunder Punch Punch He-Man. We both win in extremely different ways.

One of the things that soured me on collecting figures and toys was because the items you really want are always impossible to find in stores and then it’s off to ebay or an online toy shop where it’s going for triple the price of what you could’ve bought it for at Target or Wal-Mart. The sick part is, it’s always dudes like me in their 30s looking for this crap. I never see little kids searching through any of the pegs in the toy aisles. That’s precisely why in the extremely rare instances, when I actually do find a certain figure I’ve been searching for, then it’s reason for mini-celebration. I did indeed hold an small inner celebration when I found Cody Rhodes’ WWE Rumbler figure. He was advertised on the card backs of Rumblers that have been out for a long time, but the face masked Rhodes figure was nowhere to be found, not even online. For a second I thought it was only smoke and mirrors, but finally, hanging on a peg all the way in the back at Wal-Mart was none other than the present WWE Intercontinental Champion Cody Rhodes/Rey Mysterio 2-pack.

Photobucket 


Naughty and Nice: The Good Girl Art of Bruce Timm – If you were a geek before it was cool to be one then you probably adore the art of Bruce Timm. If you aren’t familiar with his sublime art you are definitely missing out. Timm is responsible for various DC Universe animation including perhaps the most pure incarnation of Batman ever, Batman: The Animated Series. Timm’s accomplishments don’t end there, but you can be delighted by all his further artwork via a Google image search. Recently, a dream came true for Timm fans in the form of Naughty and Nice: The Good Girl Art of Bruce Timm. It’s quite a hefty tome, but one you can go back and gaze at all the time.

Archie Meets KISS Collector’s Edition – I don’t care if it’s KISS Meets Scooby Doo or The Phantom of the Park, KISS meets anyone is good by me. It could be KISS meets Balki Bartokomous or your Aunt Laura and Uncle Arthur, it won’t matter to me. KISS appearing in Archie comics is pretty damn cool and this hardcover collector’s edition includes the whole comic series with art by the awesome Dan Parent and story by Alex Segura as well as a ton of exclusive content. Oh and did I mention there’s ZOMBIES???

Photobucket 


Fanta Kolita – I’m usually not one to go into detail about the lengths I go to in order to get my hands on stuff I want, ahh who am I kidding? Yes I am! A friend of The Sexy Armpit described my recent acquisition as such: “You have your soda flown in?” HAHA! I guess I’m now in that pretentious category. I try to buy American as much as possible, but when the most ultimate tasting soda is only available in Costa Rica, well, sometimes there’s no choice, you just have to import that shit. It all began like this: A long time ago in Club Cool at Epcot Center, (you know the place where everyone samples various sodas from around the world?) I was whisked away to Costa Rica when the fruity bubble gum flavoring of Fanta Kolita first hit my mouth. Every time I go to Disney I can’t wait to get my brief taste of Fanta Kolita, it’s so good. I figured you only live once, so I bucked up the money for shipping and ordered it from Costa Rica. Some people dream of exotic vacations and living in mansions, while I occasionally like to have myself a tasty beverage.

The Avengers – Possibly the best superhero movie ever and definitely the best superhero team-up movie ever, especially since there isn’t much competition in that department. Unfortunately, for us DC’ers the only live action Justice League movie you can watch is the 1997 piece of crap made for TV pilot that’s buried somewhere in the depths of YouTube. As a DC fan it’s embarrassing. I’m more proud of the cheesy live action 1979 Legends of the Superheroes and The Superhero Roast. One of these days DC will capitalize on The Justice League. Until that time, The Avengers sure did kick some serious ass.

Kettle Corn – When watching movies you can’t forget the popcorn. For my Wrestlemania gathering this year, Marcelo, a good friend of The Armpit, brought over a bag of kettle corn. I’ve had kettle corn before and thought it was pretty good, but when I ripped into this bag of Popcorn, Indiana Kettle Corn I was completely blown away. This is kettle corn at it’s best. What made such an impact on me was the fact that I was just expecting plain old popcorn with a bit of sweetness, but this just has that special something. Now I’m on a mission to check out some locally made kettle corn such as Kemp’s Kettle Corn of New Jersey. If I get my hands on it I’m sure you’ll read about it.

Don’t go thinking that I’m at all proud of myself after drinking sugary soda and inhaling full bags of popcorn. I cry myself to sleep at night because I’m contributing to America’s terrible eating habits. It just means that I’ll have to do more Sweatin’ To The Oldies.

Cena Shows No Mercy in New Jersey

Photobucket

John Cena has busted his ass in WWE for many years. For instance, let’s take you back to October 3rd, 2004 when Izod Center used to be called The Continental Airlines Arena. At WWE’s No Mercy Pay-Per-View, John Cena defeated Booker T in the finals of a 5-match series for the United States Championship. But, it wasn’t until April of 2005 that Cena won his first WWE Championship. Since then, Cena has been carrying the WWE for a solid 7 years whether he’s had the title or not, which is illustrated in the main attraction to tonight’s pay-per-view event.

It’s WWE’s Extreme Rules. Although neither of these guys have a title, the main event is John Cena vs. the chump from UFC, Brock Lesnar. If you haven’t followed WWE lately, Lesnar recently made his return on Monday Night Raw and brawled with John Cena. Ever since he made his WWE TV debut in 2002, I was never sold on Lesnar. His voice irritates me and considering he was an amateur wrestler his in-ring skills aren’t fluid. He’s big, powerful, and has an attitude, but that’s about it. In the early 2000’s there seemed to be an influx of guys like that joining the company. Guys like Batista bored the crap out of me, and regardless of his popularity, Lesnar fits in that same category.

Photobucket

John Cena on the other hand gets a bum rap. Cena is a hard worker and is constantly getting criticized for his limited in-ring repertoire, which I think is ridiculous. Wrestling fans like to boo Cena because it’s the thing to do. They love to be annoying. If you ever watch WWE programming there’s 100% chance you will hear the audience chant “What?” or “Yes!” at any moment just because that’s what they do. Is Cena as technically savvy as Bret Hart or the late Mr. Perfect? Obviously not, but Cena has a hugely successful mix of many wrestling characteristics and he gets no credit for it. Cena’s character is pulled from guys like Sammartino, and Hogan, just like a rock band is influenced by their favorite bands from previous years. That’s the way it should be.

The main event at Wrestlemania 28 was a joke as well. There’s no reason why The Rock had to come back as an obnoxious asshole and WIN against Cena. Cena could’ve used the win over Rock to solidify his legacy. The Rock has lost to plenty of worse opponents than Cena. It’s also been said that Cena carried the Rock and his ring rust the entire match. Why does WWE continue to give in to the half of their fans that dislike Cena? He’s a huge international superstar who is the figurehead of the company. The name associated with WWE nowadays is and has been John Cena for the last several years much in the same was that Hogan’s was in the ’80s and early ’90s. I’m not a fan of seeing the same thing all the time, but if the fans want to see someone new and exciting take the torch, someone has got to step up big time. Lesnar is not that guy.

There’s a new crop of wrestlers finally getting TV time on Raw and Smackdown. Hopefully these guys will show some sort of spark that the company has been sorely lacking. The WWE Superstars, aside from guys like C.M Punk, Daniel Bryan, Cody Rhodes and a few others, just seem like they are going through the motions. So, if half of the WWE fans hate Cena so much, I’d like to see them choose the next young talent who they think will dethrone him. One thing is for sure, Cena won’t mind passing the torch to one of them, unlike The Rock.

WWE fans in N.J can also look forward to No Way Out coming to the Izod Center on June 17th, 2012.

Nerd Lunch Episode 34: Wrestlemania Memories

Listen to episode 34 of the Nerd Lunch Podcast! Join Jeeg, Pax from Cavalcade of Awesome, Downs from Atomic Geeks and myself on a trip down to the squared circle. We get a little rowdy as we cut promos, and discuss our favorite Wrestlemania matches and moments.

Toxie, Bret “Hitman” Hart, and Alice Cooper All Walk Into A Bar In New Jersey…

Photobucket

The chances of the title of this post happening is higher than it would usually be. You can catch all 3 of these iconic gentlemen in Jersey real soon. Oh, I forgot to mention that when they get to the bar they also run into Debbie Downer from SNL!

SNL alumni Rachel Dratch will be signing her book Girl Walks Into A Bar on April 2nd at Bookends in Ridgewood, NJ.

Photobucket 

Next, coming up on April 7th at the Count Basie Theater in Red Bank, NJ there will be a FREE showing of The Toxic Avenger! The Sexy Armpit will be there to root on Jersey’s first super hero as well. Visit the Count Basie Theatre website for more information.

Also coming soon is the Chiller Theatre pop culture convention at the Hilton in Parsippany, NJ happening April 27th through the 29th. Here you will be able to hob knob with the likes of Alice Cooper, Cathy Moriarty, Robert Loggia, Dean Cain, and perhaps the coolest guest, Dirk Benedict a.k.a Face from the A-Team amongst many others. Tickets are on sale now at the Chiller Theatre site.

And merely a few months away, Minor League Baseball team The Lakewood BlueClaws take on The Hickory Crawdads on June 16th and they’ll be getting some guidance from their special guest in their corner, WWE Hall of Famer Bret “Hitman” Hart. The Hitman will be signing autographs for fans at FirstEnergy Park in Lakewood, NJ. Go to the BlueClaws website to see their schedule and purchase tickets.