NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 100: Jersey Royalty

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It’s fitting that the 100th installment of this column sees us presenting a shirt by Jersey Royalty. I think I deserve some sort of crown for writing 100 posts on t-shirts of NJ pop culture, even if it’s a cardboard Burger King crown, I’m cool with that.

Miss Sexy Armpit and I decided to take a stroll on the Seaside boardwalk over the weekend…and yes, we did that intentionally. It still surprises me how overrun with tourists that area has been since MTV’s Jersey Shore premiered. It’s probably been seeing some of it’s highest visitor rates ever. In general there’s been a surge in popularity for our state thanks to that show and that’s reflected in the store fronts on along the boardwalk.

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In a sea of many ridiculously stupid t-shirts, many of them asking you to tell that cool story again, there’s also about a hundred different variations on New Jersey slogans as well. I never had any interest in a tee that said “New Jersey: We Go Hard,” or any of the like. But I did stop in my tracks when I saw a little store on the side of the boardwalk that sold “Jersey Royalty” tees.

The Jersey Royalty shop offered tees, sweatshirts, and tanks for men and women, and most of them incorporated the outline of the Garden State. Miss Armpit treated us to shirts because we just felt like we HAD to have them. That’s a feeling we seem to get often!

The t-shirt was basically custom designed since they didn’t have my size in the version I wanted. The front of the tee is the same and the stars on the shoulders were already there, but I made 2 other requests. I asked that they put the JR military style shield on the sleeves because it’s their initials and mine as well, and their cursive logo is printed across the upper back of the shirt.

The sales girls at the shop were from Ukraine and it was pretty funny to talk to them about how they are here selling Jersey t-shirts. They told us they were here only to work and then they have to go back to their country. They seemed to prefer to be in Jersey though. The girls were definitely giving the hard sell, but they were very helpful and eager to make my custom t-shirt dreams come true. Miss Sexy Armpit should be the one crowned though, since she shelled out a lot of dough! Thank you!

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 99: Summerslam ’89

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Vintage wrestling t-shirts ain’t no joke! For my entire life I’ve always heard that wrestling is “corny” and “cheesy.” The same people who used to criticize me for watching such “garbage” are the same ones who are secretly scouring eBay for an original Don “The Rock” Muraco t-shirt. Good luck paying anything less than $100 bucks for that one! Wrestling tees used to mean a lot more to the fans since the superstars weren’t given a new t-shirt to promote every month like they are now. Back in the ’70s and ’80s the guys were known to make their entrance with the same style shirt for years.

Hulk Hogan had “Hulkamania,” Rowdy Roddy Piper had “Hot Rod,” and many years later Steve Austin was known for his “Austin 3:16” shirt. Even a fairly short lived tag team like The Powers of Pain had their own shirt that can be found on eBay for a pretty penny. How much is a pretty penny you ask? Oh say about $150 bucks!

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Collectors and sellers know that you can’t roll down to your local Target store and buy an original, vintage wrestling tee which is why they hike up the prices. No wonder eBay has got the corner on the market. It’s more about nostalgia nowadays and even pro-wrestling naysayers just want a piece of these shirts to be hip and old school. Well screw those people, they don’t deserve to be near a shirt as great as this. But back to the matter at hand, one store specifically, dirt_road_trading, offers an original 1989 Summerslam t-shirt.

The WWF’s summer extravaganza was only in it’s 2nd year and emanated from the Meadowlands Arena in East Rutherford, NJ. There’s no better time to discuss this shirt than now since WWE is presenting their next installment of Summerslam this Sunday and it’s being billed as the 25th anniversary of the event.

I remember back in the day, getting a t-shirt that was specially produced for a Pay-Per-View event was a big deal since it usually had the main event and some matches printed on the back of it. A commemorative t-shirt meant the event was huge! During that time the WWF put a little more effort and quality into their products by offering more than just a tee with a Summerslam logo on the front. I bet the tee was about $15 bucks back then, $20 at most if it was an adult size. Now it’s going for $100 dollars so that’s quite a jump. Be careful though, if you buy it and put it on, it might turn to dust!

This shirt kicked ass, and it was probably better than the event itself! Wait a second…the event was August 28th, 1989? The event was on a Monday night! What a downer! It’s hard enough to get through the work day coming off a weekend let alone the anticipation of seeing one of the top events in the wrestling industry adding to it! Although Summerslam ’89 didn’t quite live up to the previous year’s event, it still had a few strong points. You can read my synopsis of the ’89 Summerslam HERE and it’s program/event card HERE.

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 98: Bootleg Wars

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Remember when Obi-Wan announced “They’re for sale if you want them,” to the Stormtroopers in Star Wars: A New Hope? Well, the droids would’ve been up the creek without a lightsaber if it wasn’t for that handy little Jedi mind trick that Obi-Wan always does. What isn’t for sale though, is today’s t-shirt.

604 Republic offers “gear for every geek,” but for some reason tonight’s ingenious tee is not available anywhere on their site. And after checking out the site, I’m not sure how the Bootleg Wars: Boardwalk Empire tee design merely has a GOOD rating. That’s absurd! If there was a kickass option then I think that’s the proper vote. The mash-up that artist, Ken Oliver, came up with is so awesomely wacky! On the gray, black, and yellow design, Darth Vader is looking spiffy as Nucky Thompson, and the Stormtroopers are dressed as gangsters, while the Death Star looms in the distance.

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 97: A.C Is Always Turned On

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Now that the new Atlantic City tag line is DO A.C, the old one is being relegated to t-shirts. Solid Threads, an emporium of awesomely original NJ T-Shirts, has a new Atlantic City T-Shirt for sale featuring A.C’s former tourism tag line.

Always Turned On never appealed to me. It was supposed to be edgy because of the double entendre, but didn’t sufficiently evoke the energy of the city. It was weak and fell flat. This year, A.C’s marketing brain trust came up with a new campaign, DO A.C, which is simpler and more effective. The new DO A.C commercials are enticing and I’m glad they finally formulated a memorable slogan.

I had a hard time adjusting to it at first because it seemed a little generic, but compared to it’s older and wordier predecessor it has a much better capability of going viral, such as a on bumper stickers, billboards, and t-shirts. Although I’m in favor of the new campaign, they can’t please everyone since this editorial is pissed to see the old slogan go. Would you have thought that tourism slogans meant that much to people? Apparently to Donna Andersen, they mean a lot – and I’m writing a post about it as well, so go figure.

Always Turned On is old hat (or shirt in this case), but the retro vibe of this t-shirt is enhanced with the addition of the already nostalgic slogan. It’s apparent that the tag line works best when paired with a Jersey girl sunbathing on the beach!

Check out Solid Threads new Spring clothing line in their Hoboken store or online.

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 96: New Jersey Generals

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Although it only lasted a few years, the USFL obviously left quite an impression. Think about it, people aren’t necessarily clamoring for NY/NJ Hitmen t-shirts from Vince McMahon’s ill-fated XFL. Even though it was short lived, the USFL created enough of a stir that the NFL wound up bringing up many of the star players and even incorporated some of the rules of the game we are accustomed to today.

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Wikipedia notes that the NFL was clearly influenced by the USFL. Several rules and practices of the game we watch today were taken from the USFL game play such as the two-point conversion, challenging officials rulings using instant replay, and even a league salary cap was introduced. The main difference between the two leagues was that the USFL played their games in the spring and summer.

The local team for the NY/NJ area was The New Jersey Generals. After their abysmal first season, (the team went 6-12) the team was bought by Donald Trump. Aside from their rough start, their bright spot was running back Herschel Walker. The Generals breakout star won the rushing title in ’83 and ’85. The following year, Walker was snatched up by the Dallas Cowboys and then bounced from the Vikings to the Eagles and then to Giants for one season before going back to the Dallas Cowboys. Another major star who played for the Generals was quarterback Doug Flutie. In 1985, he helped boost the team to 2nd place with an 11-7 record before heading to the NFL.

Last month, what was first thought of as an April Fool’s Joke was actually dead serious. The USFL issued a press release stating that they would be back in business by Spring 2013. There’s no news yet on which 8 cities will have teams in the league.

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 94: Eastbound & Down

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An I LOVE NJ T-Shirt appears in Chapter 18 of Eastbound & Down

Kenny f’n Powers! Just when I thought his antics couldn’t get any more offensive, deplorable, and insanely hysterical, he sinks to new depths in the 3rd and final season of Eastbound & Down on HBO.

As Kenny deals with April deserting him and the challenges of being a father, his quest to get back to the major league still consumes him. Filming took place in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina where Kenny plays on the Myrtle Beach Mermen.

The end of Chapter 18, which aired last Sunday, gave us a sample of what kind of loony performance we can expect from Lily Tomlin who is playing Kenny’s mother. I’m sad to see the show come to an end, but I’m anxious to see Danny McBride show up in other movie and TV roles.

G.I JERSEY: G.I JASON On T-Shirt Tuesday

G.I Jersey - The Sexy Armpit
In today’s post GI Jersey and T-Shirt Tuesday have joined forces to take on one of horror’s most notorious icons who happens to be from…NEW JERSEY!!!

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Some of the coolest, most collectible G.I Joe figures were those who weren’t actually Joe’s at all. For instance there was William “The Refrigerator” Perry, pro wrestler Sgt. Slaughter, and even writer Stephen King’s son had a figure in his likeness code name Sneak Peek to name a few. In this article, The Metal Misfit even revealed that the Italian Stallion Rocky Balboa was slated for his own figure and character on the show as well, but plans fell through when the Rambo toy line was put on shelves. I can’t be sure that there was ever a true villain or monster created in the image of a non-Joe related character before, until now. The Horror T-Shirt masterminds over at Fright Rags decided to bring Jason Voorhees to life on his own T-Shirt in the style of the old GI Joe action figure card backs!
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The REAL AMERICAN SLASHER, Jason Voorhees has never looked cooler. In this era of mash-ups, this is the ultimate ’80s indulgence. When I first saw the tweet from Fright Rags eluding to this t-shirt I lost my mind. Combining GI Joe and one of the greatest horror movie franchises of all time is one of the coolest ideas for a t-shirt I’ve seen in a long time. Not only does the shirt respectfully pay tribute to both properties, but it does it in such a way that if GI Joe was to actually release a Jason figure, this is EXACTLY how the card back would look. Please take note of Jason’s birthplace! That’s right folks, nobody in Jersey cares about Jersey Shore except kids in middle school. Who needs the shore when we have Crystal Lake to boast about! Who cares about the New Jersey budget? Governor Christie should be talking about how proud he is that Jason Voorhees now has his own official G.I Joe file card. This is the important shit, for real.

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If you are spazzing out like I did, don’t worry, the t-shirt is still for sale in limited quantities. Frankly, I’m surprised it didn’t sell out almost immediately, but now the site says there are only certain sizes left so get it while you still can! 

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 92: Randy “The Ram” Robinson

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It’s been a little over 3 years since it’s release and I am still as crazy about The Wrestler as I was the first time I saw it. It’s the combination of Mickey Rourke’s heart wrenching performance, the reminiscing about the glory days of professional wrestling, and its New Jersey setting that makes it hit so close to home for me. Darren Aronofsky’s masterpiece remains legendary, especially to fans of the pro-wrestling business, but we the fans need to keep it alive! One way to do that is through wearing The Ram’s t-shirt!

Even though there was a glimpse of a Randy “The Ram” Robinson action figure in the movie, it was merely a custom job. You may be able to find a few custom Ram figures in the outer reaches of the Internet, but that’s about it. Since The Wrestler wasn’t watered down by a marketing onslaught, fans took it upon themselves to create t-shirts for their broken down Jersey hero. I wore mine this past weekend, and I’ve also noticed WWE’s Curt Hawkins (Zack Ryder’s former tag partner) proudly wearing a black Randy “The Ram” T-shirt as well. You can purchase one via Zazzle at this link.

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 91: How I Met Your Mother

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More than a year before MTV’s Jersey Shore began giving New Jersey a bad name, How I Met Your Mother was innovating the prevalent “NJ on TV” trend.

A slew of episodes mention the Garden State, but “I Heart NJ” is one of the best. It originally aired in October of 2008 and in this episode Ted’s been complaining about having to travel to New Jersey to visit his girlfriend Stella. (In the picture above, Ted’s t-shirt summarizes his thoughts about the state.) Both he and his friends hate New Jersey, well, not counting Marshall – he secretly loves it.

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Marshall especially loves the “dog t-shirts” that he found at the local wholesale club. Apparently one of the show’s writers thought dog t-shirts are big in New Jersey. I can’t say I’ve ever seen anyone ever wear one of them, but the jab didn’t offend me since Jason Segel makes everything funny.

Regardless of the fact that it’s just over a few years old, “I Heart NJ” is a real classic episode. In it, the gang gets into a heated debate of New York vs. New Jersey, Barney just can’t seem to get props in the form of a fist bump, and Robin finds herself pulling some Evel Knievel type stuff while racing to get her old job back. If you haven’t seen this episode and you don’t feel like waiting for the rerun, How I Met Your Mother is streaming on Netflix.

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 90: The Misfits For Christmas!

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The Grinch is a mean one…and a FIEND!!!

It’s never been depicted on a map and Santa Claus isn’t even aware of it, but right beside the Island of Misfit Toys lies the Island of Fiends. Everyone who resides there is covered in ghoulish fiend makeup and Misfits songs are piped through speakers all over the island. During Christmas you might see a lot of people wearing these holiday themed Misfits t-shirts. The first one features a fiendish creature who bares a resemblance to The Grinch and is rocking a skeleton jacket and gloves. We know The Grinch is a humbug, but who knew he was such a punk?

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The Misfits Santa T-Shirt
What do you think this scary Santa will leave for you under your tree? Maybe The Misfits latest album The Devil’s Rain? I’d like to have The Misfits record a cover of “The Most Wonderful Day of the Year” from the scene on the Island of Misfit Toys in Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer specifically for me!