They Live Starring John Cena?

io9.com has an exclusive interview with WWE’s John Cena regarding the possibility of him starring in a remake of 1988’s They Live. Will he step into Rowdy Roddy Piper’s role for the modern day take on the film?

I’m glad to read that io9 is referring to Cena positively. All you Cena haters aren’t being forced to watch RAW last I checked. Go watch TNA, UFC, or Hulkster’s Celebrity Wrestling!

Choke on this:

Some crazy fat woman in the audience on RAW just yelled “I hope you choke on your own asshole” to Carlito after he annihilated Ric Flair. How does one choke on his or her own asshole? She must’ve felt very passionate about Ric Flair not getting his ass kicked. McMahon should just let this crazy fat woman fight Carlito in the next PPV. I think that would be way better than the stuff they’ve been doing. It’s pretty sad when getting a peek at Mickie James’ thong that’s 3 sizes too small is the highlight of their show. Hey, Melina’s thong ain’t so bad either! They’ve come a long way from Bertha Faye vs. Bull Nakano. On the other hand, not much has changed since Cena beat Khali at Judgement day on Sunday in a very similar manner to his win against Umaga a few months ago. You know what would be a great match? The Great Khali vs. Giant Gonzalez and you might as well throw Bastion Booger into the fray come to think of it. He could be the special guest referee.

Blue lights on the trees?

There was a great commercial that aired during the kickass episode of Heroes on Monday. I must give props to Cingular and Motorola who produced an homage of A Christmas Story to promote their latest phone deal.

I find it quite amazing that A Charlie Brown Christmas is already airing on television right at this second on ABC. What’s even nuttier is that the Christmas Tree lighting in Rockefeller Center seems like it’s being scheduled earlier and earlier each year. Next thing you know, Halloween will be cancelled and replaced by a new holiday called “Countdown to Christmas.”

Tomorrow is the tree lighting and to me it’s pretty exciting. I’m looking forward to going to see the tree because it’s one of the last real traditions we have in the tri-state area. Traditions are awesome and make Christmas one of the most highly anticipated holidays. From the holiday music to the classic movies, it’s fun to relive them each year. Even though the holiday season has the most anticipation of any tradition, (next to the Super Bowl of course!) the more miniscule ones are still important. To many people, watching Monday Night Football (or Raw in my case) is one of the feelings that makes living life so awesome. If you don’t have traditions in your life, I recommend starting a brand new one up and then see if you can make it catch on with other people. Oh wait, George Costanza’s father tried that on Seinfeld (fesitvus) and Seth tried to on The O.C (Chrismakuh) and they both didn’t work out. It’s worth a shot anyway. I’ve always wanted to make a horror movie night with some friends where we all got together and watched a different horror movie every week or so. To me that is a great tradition.

Finally, it’s important to note that the town has decorated the trees on Main St. They put these weird blueish/purple lights on the trees! Usually red and green is more festive, or even colorless lights are better. I can’t get into lavendar, it’s not traditional enough dammit! Even silver and gold would be better.

An ashel after breakfast

Turning to more 80’s news…
Most of the local people have been to The Breakfast Club. It’s an 80’s club where the music that pumps usually leans toward the 90’s for some reason. I figured out a way to make this place way cooler – 1) Stop playing shit like the Counting Crows and Dave Matthews Band and 2) Make the dance floor tiles light up like in the Billie Jean video. Then the place would rock. You know what? If you really want to live in the 80’s for a few hours, skip the BC altogether and just watch American Psycho.

And now turning to the “I don’t care that I’m in my mid twenties and still watch professional wrestling…and if you ain’t down with that…I got 2 words for ya…SUCK IT” news
Finally the WWE is bringing back their original WWE magazine. I was damn sick of the seperate RAW, and Smackdown versions of the publication. Streamlining makes me happy. I don’t give a rats ass that Vince McMahon made up the word “ashel.” I personally think it’s one of the best words ever invented. In fact I’ve actually had 4 or 5 ashels already since I heard the word.

The latest in Jay’s morning Breakfast cereal news…
I’ve purchased EGGO waffle cereal…mainly because I could get the cool Pirates of the Caribbean SKULL STROBE. That sounds so badass. I think I gave my girlfriend the SKULL STROBE the other night. Anyway – the cereal is kind of disappointing. Not as Eggo waffley as I thought. Kinda reminds me of Honey Comb but with a maple syrup flava. I would stick to the Superman Crunch this month.

CORRECTION 6/30/06
I have to append my spelling of “Ashel”….Steve has just informed me that it would be spelled “Asscial” instead. I really don’t give a rat’s ass what he thinks but he’s probably right.