American Dragon: Jake Long – “The Lost Weekend”

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American Dragon: Jake Long features one of the coolest animated appearances of The Jersey Devil. Season 1 Episode 12 “The Lost Weekend,”aired in 2005. Unfortunately, The Disney Channel cancelled American Dragon: Jake Long in 2007, but the episodes are available on iTunes. The animated Jersey Devil looked less threatening than usual, but still as ominous as it can get for a cartoon geared toward young kids.

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Jake is a teenage skater kid from New York City who has the ability to turn into a dragon to fight evil creatures. I’ve seen the show before on Toon Disney, but never watched a complete episode until now. I was surprised by how much fun ‘The Lost Weekend” was. It brought me back to the days of watching cartoons on Saturday mornings as a kid. Much of the dialogue was cheesy, but I can’t expect Tarantino here.

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Jakes dad Jonathan was a leader of the Cougar Cubs, and he wants to relive some of those times by bringing Jake and his 2 friends camping in the woods of New Jersey. Punning it up with word play like tents and tense, Jonathan was the classic goofy dad who has no idea that he’s in a family of dragons.

There are some moments where the show is clever and other times its totally cliche. For instance, in a joke that was probably lost on the youthful demographic, Jake tells his dad that he doesn’t want to take part in singing during the car trip because “public domain songs make me nauseous.” Jake fears he’d embarrass his friends if he did, but they joined in and belted out the songs with Jakes dad. Jake’s friend Spud is basically the Jeff Spicoli of the crew. In a most stonerrific scene, we see Spud trying his best to muster up the will power to deny himself another S’more, but he gives up and shoves it down the hatch anyway.

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“…cannot…resist…marshmallow…”
Their other friend, Trixie, is completely annoying. Her whiny voice grated on me the entire show, especially when she attempted rapping. It didn’t help that she uttered stereotypical lines like “home girls don’t hold it” after finding out there is no bathroom in the woods.
A bunch of fairies summon Jake in hopes he can help defend their village. Once every hundred years “a great evil” appears from the woods and terrorizes their land for 7 straight nights. That great evil they referred to was The Jersey Devil! The stars also tell them that a great hero will show up to defeat the great evil.

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The face off between The Jersey Devil vs. Jake Long ruins Jakes fathers camping trip that he was so excited about. Jake and the fairies fortify the village with traps Kevin McCallister style, while Trixie and Spud actually get the true camping experience with Jakes dad. Even after hearing Trixie deliver antiquated phrases like “this breakfast is OFF THE CHAIN,” I still enjoyed it. I’ll go so far as to say that I was even moderately entertained by the ridiculous subplot involving Jakes mom and sister mistakenly going to a weight loss camp rather than a spa. There are worse ways to spend time with the Jersey Devil, and we’ll be taking a look at them in future posts!

The Jersey Devil Goes Down to Argila

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As far as I know, The Jersey Devil hasn’t left the Pine Barrens of New Jersey, but it’s esteem as a cryptid has made references to the mythical creature just as widespread as Bigfoot and The Loch Ness Monster. This month, The Sexy Armpit will take a look at several occasions when The Jersey Devil escaped the Pine Barrens and penetrated pop culture.

Released in 2008 for the Nintendo DS, Castlevania Order of Ecclesia, features a cameo appearance by none other than JD himself. You get to play as the character Shanoa who’s a hot little pixelated number in her own right.

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NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 16: Retro DC T-Shirts

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Fellow Jersey blogger Tommy Salami of Pluck You Too tipped me off to this weeks NJ T-shirt Tuesday offering. Tommy sent me the link to the Retro DC T-Shirt Shop which is run by Steve Jencks of the horror/b-movie blog Lost Highway: A Detour Through B-Movies and Cult Films. Steve is a versatile graphic designer who specializes in illustration, web design, and logo branding. Jencks has created many awesome T-shirts available online through his Retro DC T-Shirt Shop.

In addition to his other Zombie, Lost Highway, and Pinball Playtime designs, Jencks offers 2 New Jersey related T-Shirts. The first, “New Jersey ate my Neighbors,” features a graphic of a green, throbbing, one eyed monster reeling in a nice lady from the neighborhood. He gets hungry, can you blame him? The 2nd one is the “Jersey Devil Dark T-Shirt,” and it’s badass. The skeletal remains of the Jersey Devil look as if they are buried in the state like dinosaur fossils! It’s an original take on the Jersey Devil legend, one that I have yet to see, especially in t-shirt form!

The majority of shirts offered at Retro DC are available in a slew of different colors so you aren’t limited to the black ones I’m showing you here. Also, at the top of his online shop, Jencks mentions that you can contact him for your very own custom t-shirt design.

I was curious to find out if Steve Jencks is from Jersey because many people who aren’t from Jersey despise this state and would probably never spend the time designing a shirt inspired by the most toxic state in the U.S. Who can blame them? I was able to ask Jencks through his Twitter page (twitter.com/Losthighway) and his reply was “Nope, I’m not from Jersey, just a big fan. I love Weird NJ and all the legends. Hope to visit someday!” Right on Steve!

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 7: Artist Tom Krohne

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I’ve been going on the internet for over 15 years and I’m still totally amazed at the stuff I come across. You never know what kind of results a Google search will deliver to you, but if you use the right terms you’ll surely find stuff you didn’t even know you were looking for. A prime example is how I found Tom Krohne, a freelance illustrator who’s got a boner for horror movies and monsters of pop culture!

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Krohne’s T-shirts: Jersey Devil X-ing and The Jersey Devil: Terrorizing NJ since 1735
While doing routine research for my weekly T-Shirt column, I found that Cafe Press appeared in many results for New Jersey related T-Shirts. I must admit that, in a way, I was sort of disappointed. I’m always hoping to find some mind blowing piece of news like Perez Hilton wiped his bloody face with a New Jersey T-Shirt right after he experienced will.i.am’s right hook. I’d consider that to be quite a showing for NJ T-Shirt Tuesday. But sometimes I can settle for more subtle triumphs, like finding a superior artist such as Tom Krohne. His Cafe Press store not only features Jersey Devil T-Shirts, hats, and hoodies, but also breakfast cereal monsters and other oddities that are worth checking out.

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Jersey Devil with State Backdrop and the metalicious “1909 Outta The Pines Tour”
Usually it’s a crap shoot with Cafe Press. Finding a storefront that features a slew of imaginative and cool looking designs is a rarity. Too many of the stores feature products with one boring logo. I’m not out to disrespect any of the hard work that goes into the various Cafe Press stores, but I will say that when you come across a store like Tom Krohne’s, it makes the others pale in comparison.

New Jersey’s Great Pop Culture Moments Vol.17: NJ’s Commemorative Quarter

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For President’s Day, and in honor of the stimulus package getting passed, let’s take a look at currency kicked with a dash of Jersey. According to Wikipedia, in 1997, Bill Clinton signed the 50 States Commemorative Coin Program Act into law. The US Mint honored all 50 states with their own commemorative quarter. The coinage raked in quite a bit of dough for the government just based on collectors alone.

New Jersey’s quarter was the 3rd release in the state quarter series, which wasn’t too shabby. Delaware and Pennsylvania were the only states that preceded the Garden State’s. NJ’s coin features George Washington’s army crossing the Delaware on his way to surprise the Hessians and wreck house in the Revolutionary War. We’ve all seen this before. The reverse side design is inspired by the 1851 Emmanuel Leutze painting Washington Crossing the Delaware. I really thought NJ could’ve sprung to throw an original design on there rather than a painting we’ve been looking at for over 150 years.

According to usmint.gov, this quarter was the first circulating coin to feature George Washington on both sides. (I guess they had no idea that I have GW’s silhouette tattooed on both of my asscheeks.) I find it ridiculous that it took a board of 15 people (descriptively referred to as the New Jersey Commemorative Coin Design Commission) “who were selected for their backgrounds in history, art, and numismatics,” and Christine Todd Whitman all to approve a coin design! Talk about overkill.

For those who aren’t on board with the stimulus package, why don’t you lobby for another set of state quarters, but a series more accurate to modern times? New Jersey’s will obviously feature refineries, toxic swamps, and the Jersey Devil smiling giddily giving a thumbs up. California’s would naturally feature Dutch from Predator puffing on a cigar resting his machine gun on his shoulder as the Hollywood sign rests on the hills behind him. What’s up with New York you ask? Gozer the Gozerian is shooting laser beams right at us from high atop Dana Barret’s apartment building with terror dogs on each side of her. Florida? C’mon that’s a no brainer! Scrooge McDuck. Now I’d buy those for a quarter!

Coheed and Cambria: Devil in Jersey City Video

Here’s the video for the song “Devil in Jersey City,” from Progressive Rock band Coheed and Cambria.  The track appears on their 2002 album The Second Stage Turbine Blade. This post goes out to my lifelong friend and Armpit reader Marcelo, who kept me updated via text message on what was going on at The WWE Royal Rumble last Sunday while I was in Vegas. Thanks Marcelo!

Foreign Objects Protruding From New Jersey!

Now that I’m apparently splitting my time between New Jersey and Las Vegas, I figured you wouldn’t miss me too much if I went to Vegas again. In anticipation of my next trip out there this weekend, I post for your investigation 2 photos that I snapped that I can’t seem to figure out.

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Hanging from the ceiling of the restaurant America, in New York, New York in Las Vegas (who coincidentally had an awesome veggie burger with fresh avocado strips on it) was a model of the entire United States. Each state had a miniature trademark, for instance, Pennsylvania featured the Liberty Bell, New York City had skyscrapers, and upstate New York had apples.
What perplexed me for the entire trip was the enigmatic objects that were jammed into New Jersey. 

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Dammit, Jersey gets so much flack all the time and now I discover THIS! Why is everyone always shitting all over New Jersey? 

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What in the hell is that shit on NJ? Obviously anyone in their right mind can see that there’s a slot machine there to signify Atlantic City, but what about the other crap?  Up north there’s some sort of Leaning Tower of Pisa. I haven’t the slightest clue what it’s supposed to be. Down in south Jersey, what I can see with the best of my ability is some weird looking roasted red pepper. There’s no chance that’s what it is, but I’ll be damned if someone tries to convince me it’s The Jersey Devil or something. If that’s what it’s supposed to be it’s the shittiest likeness of The Jersey Devil in the history of ceiling hung models of the U.S. Where the fuck is the Franklin Mint when you need them? Damn their veggie burgers are kickass but their version of New Jersey is all out of whack. Sure New York, New York gets it’s own state right but they f–k New Jersey up royally. Why don’t they give up this stupid grudge already?
I couldn’t resist adding this picture I took of the exterior of some cheesy stores on the Vegas strip. Notice the airbrushed t-shirts on the left. 

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The first shirt is classic: I Love to Fart a.k.a I Heart to Fart! Oh man, this is the best valentine’s day gift for a person who loves to fart. I’m pretty sure there’s others in the high fashion line such as “I love to take toxic dumps” and I Love “I Heart” Shirts. Watch out because Mark Ecko and Ed Hardy will be releasing their own versions of these pretty soon. Get these originals while you can since the designer brands will be $150 a pop.
If it’s possible, the shirts grow more tasteless from left to right, but let’s be honest…Vegas isn’t the classiest place in the country. 
This next shirt features a stick figure going down on another stick figure. It reads: Warning: Choking Hazard! Package contains large parts Keep out of reach of small women.
Last and finally not least, the Warner Brother’s logo has been paid the ultimate tribute. If you see ‘da police Warn a Brother!

Bruce Springsteen FREE Halloween Track: “A Night With The Jersey Devil”

Erick at Wonderful Wonderblog brought to my attention that Bruce Springsteen is offering a Halloween treat for us all at his website! It’s a FREE track called “A Night With The Jersey Devil” How cool is that? And after the song link, Bruce explains why he’s not having his annual halloween display this year.

The Following is quoted directly from the official BruceSpringsteen.net

“Dear Friends and Fans,If you grew up in central or south Jersey, you grew up with the “Jersey Devil.” Here’s a little musical Halloween treat. Have fun! Bruce Springsteen”A Night With The Jersey Devil”: Free Audio Download

“To our friends and neighbors: So as not to inconvenience you this Halloween, due to “catastrophic success” (read: too many visitors for the neighborhood to handle) and concern for the safety of kids and parents! we won’t be having our usual Halloween display this year in Rumson.We wish everyone a safe and Happy Halloween!Thanks,Bruce and Patti”