Purple Stuff Podcast: WrestleMania Minutiae!

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It’s that time of the year again! The weather starts cutting out the below zero temps and gives us that Spring feeling of being alive again. Although the Fall is by far my favorite season, Spring is second, but not because of blooming flowers…because of booming bodyslams! That’s right, its time to celebrate the WWE’s grandest event of the year, WrestleMania! Even if the last time you watched WWE was when Stone Cold Steve Austin was still the champ, you can still hop back on board at any time. Right now is the best time because WrestleMania is always a fun time. Hardcore fans dissect every event and suck the goodness out of everything, but this is one block of 4 hours each year that I dive completely into the pro-wrestling zone and enjoy it as if I were 5 years old again. It’s actually pretty refreshing, and maybe even more-so if you are not super into the WWE world. If you aren’t jaded to all of it you may even have more of a blast than many of us critical bastards! Regardless, here are 6 tips on maximizing your WrestleMania day:

  1. Eliminate interruptions. You may be tempted to hop on Twitter or scroll through your Instagram feed during any lulls, but trust me, it can wait. You’ll have time during the Kid Rock promo so plan the social media breaks strategically. Many bands have banned cell phones at their concerts, so take a cue from The Misfits and enjoy WrestleMania as if it was the ’80s and early ’90s when you weren’t bogged down by the damn phone. I’m sure I will get texts during the show, but unless it’s an emergency, it can wait! When The Goddess is on TV, everything else gets put on hold.

2. Drink. Doesn’t have to be liquor. If you aren’t into that, get a lot of Root Beer or Mountain Dew on ice. You will need to have an excuse to run to the bathroom if a match starts to bore you out of your smoking skull. (that’s a Stone Cold reference if you didn’t catch it!)

3. Set up a comfortable viewing area, but not too comfortable! You want the pillows and blankets, but don’t accidentally promote a sleeping environment for you and your squad. This is a mistake. There’s plenty of time for that later on. If this is your first WWE event in a while, it will feel like it’s 17 hours.

4. Food! You can actually get winded just by living vicariously through watching these super athletes do what they do best so you will need nourishment. My advice is to balance out the crap with some good healthy stuff. Sounds boring, but you’ll thank me afterward! If you’re eating nothing but garbage all day and night, by the end of the event you’ll want to bust. You’ll feel like an alien is ripping out of your stomach. It’s worthwhile to cut up some fruits and veggies and drink water here and there. You have to pace yourself between all the Doritos and buffalo wings.

5. Treat the day like it’s a holiday. For me, WrestleMania has always been a holiday. To some, The Super Bowl is the big day, but for me this is monumental. Even if it winds up sucking, there’ so much excitement and enthusiasm on this day. The memories of Mania’s past come rushing back and you can enjoy them all day long if you have the WWE Network. With all great holidays, reminiscing is a major part of them and this is no different. You might wear an ugly sweater to a Christmas party, so be sure to wear your favorite Wrestler’s t-shirt or hat. I can’t forget this one, the music! We listen to Christmas carols during Christmas and spooky music during Halloween, so get your bluetooth speaker out and stream WWE music all day long, heck, all weekend long! And since you’re going to be up late and all pumped, think about taking the next day off. They won’t kill you.

6. LISTEN TO THE NEWEST EPISODE OF THE PURPLE STUFF PODCAST! The newest episode of The Purple Stuff Podcast is all about inconsequential aspects of all the WrestleManias so far. Matt from Dinosaur Dracula and I have compiled 10 pieces of minutiae that we find interesting enough to talk about for an hour. Topics include, The Undertaker’s outrageous act, A whacked out Piper’s Pit, The Mistress of the Dark, and the greatest pro wrestling entrance of all time! Check it out on iTunes, Stitcher, Podbean, and the Google Play store! Thanks for tuning in.

Now, let’s take you down to our broadcasting team of Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse “The Body” Ventura…

WWE Theme Songs on The Purple Stuff Podcast Ep. 40!

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WrestleMania Weekend is upon us! Fans across the world wait all year for this epic event and it’s finally here. On my end, it’s become more of a multi-day celebration of watching old ppv’s, checking out the Hall of Fame and NXT Takeover. OH and drinking Tequila and eating way too damn much. What a blast! Let’s head down to ringside…

Me and Dinosaur Dracula wanted to present our love of the WWE once again on the Purple Stuff Podcast. Last year’s WWE show was a blast so we’re doing it again. This time, we’re counting down some of the most underrated and often overlooked WWE Theme songs of all time. These aren’t your typical entrance themes that usually get bandied around on top 50 lists. Matt and I have both brought some really “special” tunes. Yes, you might connect with the Ultimate Warrior’s theme, and I do too obviously, but something has to be said for the lesser WWE Superstars of yore.

The latest episode comes in time for you to enjoy it as part of your WrestleMania parties. Thank you for listening and reading! If you want to support our show you can subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts and spread the word! We’d love to hear some of your underrated classic theme songs below.

NXT: Con. Hall Brawl in Asbury Park!

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Let me catch you up on some of the cool shit that’s been going down in The Armpit of the Universe.

A couple of months back, I scored tickets to see NXT Live on February 19th, and I basically forced Dinosaur Dracula to come with me. I didn’t give him much of a choice at all – it was like, “Dude, I got tickets to NXT, don’t make plans that day.” Matt was on board for it and I was extra pumped. It wasn’t only momentous for the fact that I’d be seeing an NXT house show virtually in my backyard, but there was a little more to it. Continue reading NXT: Con. Hall Brawl in Asbury Park!

Purple Stuff Podcast Episode 14: Snacks We Want Back!

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Now that the Halloween Season is over for most, (I refuse to accept that) we are back to bring you another nostalgic podcast this week! Unfortunately, there are no ghosts and goblins to be discussed this week, but to ease the pain, we have some old chips, soda, and ice cream for you as we talk about Snacks That We Want Back!
Yes, Matt from Dinosaur Dracula and I have switched gears into a territory that we both know a lot about: OLD SNACKS. I can’t describe to you how much time I’ve spent in my life pining over discontinued junk food, so this show allows us to discuss some of those that have had me desperately dreaming their comeback for many years. And you sure as hell already know that Matt has spent the majority of his life curating old junk food so this is quite a discussion as you can imagine. We talk about the how the country fell in completely in love with Potato Skins which lead to them being turned into their own chips, Ghostbusters getting it’s own ice cream tie-in, and a certain beloved clear soda that might actually be making a comeback. It’s a kick-ass show that will jog your memory into looking back on some of the crap that you ingested while fermenting on your couch watching TV as a kid.

What are some of your favorite snacks from when you were a kid that aren’t around anymore? Let us know in the comments!

If you haven’t subscribed to the podcast, you can do so at iTunes, Podbean, and Stitcher! If you dig what you hear, please leave some positive feedback for us on iTunes! Thanks for listening and supporting the show! Stay tuned for more here at the Sexy Armpit very soon as I slowly get my ass back into gear!

The 10 Best Pics of Rowdy Roddy Piper and Jay From Monster Mania Con 28!

With the summer installment of Monster Mania in the history books, the countdown to Halloween is fast-approaching. Although it’s a horror convention, my mind never associates it with the onset of the Halloween season. Not sure why, but when you think about it, in merely a matter of days, Dinosaur Dracula will be signaling to all that the countdown is on. Halloween is right around the corner, yet this is still a summer event, one that’s ripe for escorting the sweltering season directly out the door without passing go. Good riddance to you summer, I say. Oh, I suppose you want to know more about Monster Mania? OK, I’ll give you all I can remember.

Let me get this out from the get-go: we didn’t get drunk with the Joker and Freddy Krueger like we did that other time, but once again, the forces of Dinosaur Dracula, Freddy in Space, and The Sexy Armpit came together and had quite an interesting time to say the least. It’s a scene not for the faint of heart. You’d probably like to know all about our sordid Monster Mania tales from this time around, but we’ve got to keep some decorum here, plus, details are fuzzy. Put it this way, there was a lot of liquor and VHS tapes involved. And Tom Bryce’s pretzels. It was a veritable Shit Pretzel Fest.

As I mentioned, it’s a little foggy, but the bits of this event that I do remember include buying a Princess Bride poster AND more monumentally, meeting Rowdy Roddy Piper. With the Hot Rod in New Jersey, how could I miss the chance to meet one of my favorite WWE Legends of all time?

I think I must’ve gained a lifetime membership to the club. You know that club, Those Who’ve Met Hulk Hogan and Rowdy Roddy Piper Within a Matter of Days From Each Other Club. It’s not the kind of braggable anecdote as say, being in the mile high club, but it’s a tidbit that’ll most certainly be engraved in my headstone.

While waiting on line I noticed Piper was smiling and taking his time to talk with every one of his fans. Fortunately, Matt (@DinosaurDracula) arrived, grabbed my phone and snapped over 20 photos to make damn sure we commemorated this historic meeting of the minds. It was a nearly impossible task to narrow it down, but here are the top 10 best photos of Hot Rod and I from our impromptu photo shoot. Some of the shots are different, yet so completely the same.

As they were swiping through these photos on my phone, a few of my friends and family members asked what I talked to Piper about. Seeing 20+ photos of he and I prompted one of my friends to ask “how long was he talking to you for?” No joke, it had to be at least 35 minutes. There were “BULLSHIT” chants coming from the people in line behind me. To be clear, we didn’t talk wrestling, we didn’t talk They Live, and we damn sure didn’t talk politics. But he did offer me a recipe. It’s just like good old Hot Rod, recipes are so typical of him. You can see how good he is with a blender in that episode of Legends House. Piper vs. The Blender, a feud that can only be rivaled by Hogan/Piper.

The blur was actually present in the room. It eventually dissipated, but, at first, it was like The Mist.

JAY:
“Hey Hot Rod! How exciting it is to meet you!”

HOT ROD:
“Hey, thank you man, what’s your name?” 

JAY
“I’m Jay.”

HOT ROD:
“Jay, I love that shirt!” 
(I’m wearing the Panther shirt that Roddy wore to the ring in the early ’80s.)
JAY:
“It’s classic! I’m about 6 tequilas in, so excuse me if I sound like it.”

HOT ROD:
“Ohhhohoo, so you want to be a big shot don’t ya?”
JAY:
“Well, not really, I just wanted to get drunk with my friends.”

HOT ROD:
“Now that you mention it, you are lookin’ a little bit under the weather, You know what, I know exactly what you need. It’s what I used to make when I was oh, knee high to a grasshopper.”

JAY:
“Specifically, what kind of concoction are you going to supply me with the recipe for, Roddy? Not that raw egg in the blender gimmick that Hulk gave Mean Gene I hope!”
(Just when he thought he had all the answers, I obviously changed the questions.) 
HOT ROD:
“Now, don’t insult me kid or I’ll crack your head with a coconut, trust me you’ll want to listen to the information I’m about to lay out for you.”

JAY:
“I’m all ears, Hot Rod.”
HOT ROD:
“Do you remember once upon a time when that little meatball Rachel Ray’s cooking show was a hot commodity? Well it can’t touch Mixology with Rowdy Roddy!
JAY:
“I’m confused, are you saying you’re changing the name of Piper’s Pit?”
HOT ROD:
“Listen up, stop your lips from yapping for one minute. If you want to be big time, you’re gonna have one of these with me”
Piper proceeds to instruct me on how to concoct a Hot Roddy.
HOT ROD:
“Ever hear your grandmother talk about drinking a Hot Toddy when she was sick? Well, this is what I call a Hot Roddy.”
JAY:
“I assume it can cure what ails ya…or ails me. After all the drinking and partying at Monster Mania so far, this is just what I needed. Some kind of an elixir to rejuvenate me.”
HOT ROD:
“You’re damn right, and remember Jay, this drink ain’t FOR EVERYBODY, but if you want a banana have a banana, us, we gonna have ourselves a Hot Roddy.”

HOT ROD
Oh no…
JAY:
Oh no, what?

HOT ROD:
Oh no…who is that taking our picture? Please don’t tell me it’s that damn motherf*ckin’ Dino Drac, that sonofabitch! OK, OK, that’s enough pictures, you know where you can stick those VHS tapes! This is the last picture and then get that photographer the hell out of here!

I have come here to show you at least 10 photos and kick ass, and I’m all out of photos.

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 113: RAW IS JERSEY!

NJ IS RAW! at Barber Shop Window

Even if you’re not a wrestling fan, you might have heard about the WWE Network. It’s like Netflix for the WWE. After spending over a week with it, I can honestly say it’s one of the most awesome things ever. At the risk of sounding like a commercial, for only $9.99 a month, you get the option of watching any WWE, ECW, and WCW pay-per-view ever (including the latest monthly events) along with a ton of other programming. I’ve been glued to it every single day since it premiered on 2/24. This brings me to the t-shirt of the day which is perfect for fans of New Jersey and WWE.

If you are indeed a WWE fan, it’s a pretty damn cool time to be one. Monday nights have been pretty interesting as the company is building up for their biggest event of the year: Wrestlemania 30! Get ready to feel old: Monday Night Raw, the WWE’s live 3-hour show, has been airing for over 20 years (even more sick: I’ve been watching WWF/E for over 30 years!) You could imagine that being able to sit around and relive all these great memories has been quite amazing. The only thing better would be sitting around in an appropriate t-shirt.

Wrestling t-shirt gurus Barber Shop Window offer all kinds of funny and ironic wrestling tees that depict wrestlers and slogans spanning from the present to as far back as you can remember. It’s hard to log on to their site and not want to buy at least 5 or 6 shirts in one shot, but who has that kind of money besides The Million Dollar Man? I can help you make a decision though. If you look forward to watching live wrestling on Monday Nights, and you have pride in your state, go with their “Your State is RAW!” series of tees.

This t-shirt series will bring you back to wrestling’s territory days because they feature the shape of your state in the style of the WWE logo! Pictured above is the New Jersey version (obviously) and it will make you chant and scream in the loudest possible register, just like the fans at the Izod Center did the night after Wrestlemania 29!

These tees may soon become nostalgic in their own right. The front of the shirts use the same WWE “scratch logo” design which seems like it’s slowly being phased out in favor of the newer and much more sleek WWE logo that premiered with the Network. Don’t let that stop you from representing your pride in the business and your state at the same time. 

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 99: Summerslam ’89

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Vintage wrestling t-shirts ain’t no joke! For my entire life I’ve always heard that wrestling is “corny” and “cheesy.” The same people who used to criticize me for watching such “garbage” are the same ones who are secretly scouring eBay for an original Don “The Rock” Muraco t-shirt. Good luck paying anything less than $100 bucks for that one! Wrestling tees used to mean a lot more to the fans since the superstars weren’t given a new t-shirt to promote every month like they are now. Back in the ’70s and ’80s the guys were known to make their entrance with the same style shirt for years.

Hulk Hogan had “Hulkamania,” Rowdy Roddy Piper had “Hot Rod,” and many years later Steve Austin was known for his “Austin 3:16” shirt. Even a fairly short lived tag team like The Powers of Pain had their own shirt that can be found on eBay for a pretty penny. How much is a pretty penny you ask? Oh say about $150 bucks!

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Collectors and sellers know that you can’t roll down to your local Target store and buy an original, vintage wrestling tee which is why they hike up the prices. No wonder eBay has got the corner on the market. It’s more about nostalgia nowadays and even pro-wrestling naysayers just want a piece of these shirts to be hip and old school. Well screw those people, they don’t deserve to be near a shirt as great as this. But back to the matter at hand, one store specifically, dirt_road_trading, offers an original 1989 Summerslam t-shirt.

The WWF’s summer extravaganza was only in it’s 2nd year and emanated from the Meadowlands Arena in East Rutherford, NJ. There’s no better time to discuss this shirt than now since WWE is presenting their next installment of Summerslam this Sunday and it’s being billed as the 25th anniversary of the event.

I remember back in the day, getting a t-shirt that was specially produced for a Pay-Per-View event was a big deal since it usually had the main event and some matches printed on the back of it. A commemorative t-shirt meant the event was huge! During that time the WWF put a little more effort and quality into their products by offering more than just a tee with a Summerslam logo on the front. I bet the tee was about $15 bucks back then, $20 at most if it was an adult size. Now it’s going for $100 dollars so that’s quite a jump. Be careful though, if you buy it and put it on, it might turn to dust!

This shirt kicked ass, and it was probably better than the event itself! Wait a second…the event was August 28th, 1989? The event was on a Monday night! What a downer! It’s hard enough to get through the work day coming off a weekend let alone the anticipation of seeing one of the top events in the wrestling industry adding to it! Although Summerslam ’89 didn’t quite live up to the previous year’s event, it still had a few strong points. You can read my synopsis of the ’89 Summerslam HERE and it’s program/event card HERE.

WWE’s No Way Out From East Rutherford, NJ!

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WWE’s next Pay-Per-View, No Way Out is emanating from the IZOD Center in East Rutherford, NJ on Father’s Day, June 17th 2012. The print ads and TV commercials for the event are done in an old-timey style and feature Daniel Bryan and his now ex-onscreen girlfriend, A.J. It will be a homecoming for A.J who is one of our past Garden State Playmates and hails from Union City, NJ. The poster pictured above is available from the WWE Shop via this link. The matches are listed below – as always, the card is subject to change.

C.M Punk vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Kane in a Triple Threat Match for the WWE Championship
John Cena vs. The Big Show in a Steel Cage
Shaemus vs. Dolph Ziggler for the World Heavyweight Championship
Christian vs. Cody Rhodes for the Intercontinental Championship
Brodus Clay vs. David Otunga (Pre-Show)

Nerd Lunch Episode 34: Wrestlemania Memories

Listen to episode 34 of the Nerd Lunch Podcast! Join Jeeg, Pax from Cavalcade of Awesome, Downs from Atomic Geeks and myself on a trip down to the squared circle. We get a little rowdy as we cut promos, and discuss our favorite Wrestlemania matches and moments.

Toxie, Bret “Hitman” Hart, and Alice Cooper All Walk Into A Bar In New Jersey…

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The chances of the title of this post happening is higher than it would usually be. You can catch all 3 of these iconic gentlemen in Jersey real soon. Oh, I forgot to mention that when they get to the bar they also run into Debbie Downer from SNL!

SNL alumni Rachel Dratch will be signing her book Girl Walks Into A Bar on April 2nd at Bookends in Ridgewood, NJ.

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Next, coming up on April 7th at the Count Basie Theater in Red Bank, NJ there will be a FREE showing of The Toxic Avenger! The Sexy Armpit will be there to root on Jersey’s first super hero as well. Visit the Count Basie Theatre website for more information.

Also coming soon is the Chiller Theatre pop culture convention at the Hilton in Parsippany, NJ happening April 27th through the 29th. Here you will be able to hob knob with the likes of Alice Cooper, Cathy Moriarty, Robert Loggia, Dean Cain, and perhaps the coolest guest, Dirk Benedict a.k.a Face from the A-Team amongst many others. Tickets are on sale now at the Chiller Theatre site.

And merely a few months away, Minor League Baseball team The Lakewood BlueClaws take on The Hickory Crawdads on June 16th and they’ll be getting some guidance from their special guest in their corner, WWE Hall of Famer Bret “Hitman” Hart. The Hitman will be signing autographs for fans at FirstEnergy Park in Lakewood, NJ. Go to the BlueClaws website to see their schedule and purchase tickets.