Purple Stuff Podcast Halloween Minisode #4: Escape From Castle Dracula!

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To us, Halloween has officially kicked off, thanks to Dino Drac posting his first video of the season. Of course, The Purple Stuff Podcast’s Halloween celebration had already been in full swing with our new minisodes. We bring you a spooky new installment that is sure to be the perfect antidote for those who still think it’s too early to celebrate Halloween! (It’s never too early!)

In this episode, me and Matt drive to Philly to check out an Escape Room that he read about. This attraction wasn’t your run of the mill escape room as you can gather from the picture above. We entered an escape room that was basically Castle Dracula, our favorite haunted attraction of all time. We’ll tell you all about our excursion trying to find the place and what we encountered inside! It was a total blast. There couldn’t be a more perfect way to get into the vibes of the season. I’m getting excited just thinking about it.

As always, thanks for listening and reading! Please subscribe on iTunes and leave us a bunch of stars if you dig the show!

This Summer Is Gushing With Ghostbusters!

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I refuse to apologize for relishing in this full-on Ghostbusters renaissance we’re living in. When you’re chugging 2 cans of Ecto Cooler like they’re Steveweisers, kneeling before a towering homemade altar of symmetrically stacked Twinkie boxes, and floating on bags upon bags of fluffy, heavenly Ghostbusters Marshmallows, this type of euphoria demands that you get a sample of it like Venkman got that mucus. We’ve got new action figures, new Hot Wheels, a new Tobin’s Spirit Guide, new Ectoplazm, and who the hell knows what else is on the horizon! Regardless of what you think of the new Ghostbusters movie, this is a magical time and shame on you if you’re letting it speed passed you like the subway ghost. In the world of The Sexy Armpit, I’m soaking it all up and appreciating every aspect. The premiere of GB2016 is upon us, and in honor of it, I’m going to show you how I’ve been savoring even more Ghostbusters shenanigans.

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MADAME TUSSAUD’S GHOSTBUSTERS EXPERIENCE

There’s no better place in the world to celebrate Ghostbusters than its birthplace, New York City. Fortunately, there are a slew of Ghostbusters themed things to do in the city that are guaranteed to elevate this tremendous moment in time for you. Perhaps you want to do a self-guided tour of the filming locations from the original two Ghostbusters films? Or maybe you feel like waxin’ nostalgic, literally?

We had tickets to Madame Tussaud’s Ghostbusters Experience and man was I pumped for it! By rights, a wax museum should technically be a pretty spooky place, although Madame’s is a family attraction in Times Square, so I knew I wasn’t going to have my Batman boxers scared off me. Posing with a bunch of wax statues of Ghostbusters characters did sound like a blast, but it was how they sweetened the deal that hooked me…BIG TIME. I bought all the tickets way in advance, mainly because of how seduced I was by Ghostbuters Dimension: A Hyper Reality Experience. This is an interactive virtual reality game where I would actually become a Ghostbuster, obviously the true selling point of this whole affair, let’s be real.

It was a hot, humid day in midtown Manhattan. The sky was gray and, no joke, there was a tornado watch for the NY/NJ area. I had just started a long holiday weekend. The stage was set for a great day full of Ghostbusters fun. We just had to make it to Madame Tussaud’s in time for the 1pm tickets we had. Traffic in New York City that day was completely crazy. We got there with a few minutes to spare to shovel some fast food down our throats and then head inside.

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Once we made our way into the venue. I was snapping dopey selfies with J-Lo as if she wasn’t meticulously carved out of wax. A couple more mandatory selfies with Frankenstein and The Mummy for good measure, then it was onto the Ghostbusters display!

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Backdrops and motifs from the new movie were replicated and designed for photo ops. The coolest display featured Holtzmann (Kate McKinnon) in a lab fixing up one of her proton packs. It was a no-brainer, a real Kodak moment:

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Next up we saw the statues of Kristen Wiig and Melissa McCarthy. They were all extremely lifelike, yet I felt like there could have been a bit more to the wax display area. A giant wax VIGO perhaps? Or staying in line with the new movie, what about Rowan? Then, that ugly little spud, Slimer, was roaming around projecting himself in fog machine clouds. It was awesome to see a walk through like this even though it wasn’t too extensive.

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We finally wound up at the queue for the virtual reality experience. We showed our tickets and hopped on line. Immediately, we started to overhear several people in front of us complaining about how long they were waiting, which didn’t bode well. We were there pretty early in the day and there had already been a host of problems. Minutes later, one of the Tussad’s employees came over and started to run interference by making small talk with all of us waiting on line. She started to explain that there was some technical difficulties that they were trying to figure out.

We experienced the small talk distraction several times throughout the rest of our excruciatingly long wait. I guess it’s comparable to waiting for a ride at a theme park, almost being the next one to hop on the ride, but then the ride breaks down. The thing is, we didn’t expect a virtual reality game to have this kind of time consuming maintenance. We tried to give it a pass since it was the first day, but apparently it had worked well for the recent press preview.

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In the end, we waited about 3 hours to finally catch some ghosts. I wanted to refrain from continuing to describe how hot and annoying it was to wait on this line for so long, and how just as we thought things were looking up, our anticipation was squashed once again. You can imagine how sucky it is to assume you had tickets for 1pm and then having to either A) accept them turning you away with a refund B) rescheduling you for another day or C) or toughing it out and waiting 3 hours. We chose the latter. We came, we saw, we kicked its ass…eventually.

Suiting up was a weird, confusing process. We went through the whole production of putting on the helmet, headset, vest and proton pack, and after being sent to the area where we’re about to begin, we were asked to go back to the suit-up area and take everything off and get into a whole other set of the same equipment. Were they f’n serious with this? This was getting ridiculous. Considering all the crap we waited through to get to that point, they really should’ve had their shit together.

After our second suit-up, we were ready to go! This time, it was for real. A VR viewer in the helmet dropped down over our eyes and made everything appear to each of us as if we were literally in a VR Ghostbusters world. It was incredible. I looked over at Miss Sexy Armpit and she looked like Winston Zeddemore, which is even more comical because she has no idea who that is. The light went on and we were able to head inside to start the game. We walked through a few different rooms where we had to blast a bunch of ghosts which felt just about as real as it will ever get.

The ghosts were so vivid. There was a moment where we were in a small elevator and a little Samara-looking girl phased her way into the elevator with us. Our proton packs were locked at that point for safety, because we’d probably wind up blasting the shit out of each other. Then, we headed into a library and that’s where business really picked up. You know what I’m talking about! Ultimately, we found ourselves out on the ledge of a high rise in New York City. The skies looked like they did back at the end of the original film, before Gozer graced us with her presence. The ledge was literally shaking and we had to blast an onslaught of ghosts while maintaining our balance. Moments later, we took part in the biggest finale that you could possibly imagine. Let’s just say we had to take down a big sailor. It was incredible. The strong scent of marshmallows wafted up our noses as we celebrated our triumph over these elusive entities.

I’d love to do it all again when they work out the kinks. I’d happily pay even more if they made it more like an interactive RPG where there’s more of a story and it goes for about 25 minutes. That would absolutely be worth a 3 hour wait.

If you’ve ever wanted to live out the ghost catching process that you see in the Ghostbusters films and cartoons, as it stands, this is the only way to do it. It was so much fun! Some people go to therapy sessions to work out their problems, others go to masseuses to ease their stress and pain, but I’m telling you, if I could do Ghostbusters virtual reality every Friday night, I might be the happiest son of a B there ever was. I’d march right over to Lincoln Center and twirl around like a silly goofball.

DAVE AND BUSTER’S GHOSTBUSTERS COCKTAILS

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The Ghostly fun wasn’t done. Not by a long shot. I wasn’t going to give up now. Ever since I saw all the hoopla about the fancy Ghostbusters drinks and games at Dave and Buster’s, I needed to experience it for myself. Unfortunately, there’s no D&B in New Jersey, which is unfathomable since we literally have everything else in this state. As we walked outside we realized, DUH, D&B is RIGHT NEXT DOOR to Madame Tussaud’s! It couldn’t have worked out better. It’s Miller Time!

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There’s no way I can’t use this: Dave and Buster’s was a BUST. We asked the bartenders about the GB cocktails and slushie and they started in on a long tangent about how they barely have any of the ingredients. At this point, they had only been available for a couple of weeks at most. “We’re out of the gummy worms, so we’d have to substitute them with gummy bears, and there’s no glowing ice cubes,” so this roughly translates to “we can make you a drink, but it won’t be Ghostbusters themed in any way nor resemble the picture on the bar.” After that debacle, I asked about the slushie and they didn’t even have the slushies at all so things were looking bleak.

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The last stand would be the new 2-player seated Ghostbusters arcade game. There was a bunch of kids hoarding the game and who am I to rob them of some good old fashioned Ghostbusters fun? I was just happy to see kids so into a Ghostbusters game, so we called it a day.

It was a frustrating day yet the VR game really saved it for me. Then, to top it off, we hopped on the wrong train home, but luckily realized it before it was too late. When we finally got on the right one, we both conked out until we reached home.

ECTO COOLER/CUT GRASS COCKTAIL (BARF!)

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As I mentioned, the long weekend was in its early stages. Next up, our Ghostbusters itinerary took us to Atlantic City and then Wildwood.

A bunch of us including Matt from Dino Drac, Will from Casserole of Disaster, and Juggernauts Cave were all hanging out in our hotel room in A.C with the ladies. Juggernaut asks us if we want to try this vodka that supposedly smells and tastes like freshly cut grass. The answer my inner monologue replied with was “why the f*ck would we want to do that?” Matt seemed a lot more intrigued by it, whereas I felt that the idea of it was completely awful.

In the end, the freshly cut grass vodka won out because we rationalized it. We had a ton of Ecto Cooler in the room, a beverage that is green, and grass is green so why the hell wouldn’t we mix the two? Juggernaut poured us all up some of the bizarre concoction and it was every bit as disgusting as you could imagine. But it did allow us to shoehorn in another interesting moment from our long list of Ghostbusters memories from 2016, but it didn’t make up for missing out on the Dave and Buster’s dranks.

STAY PUFT PLUSH AND GHOSTBUSTER ARCADE GAME

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Living in Jersey, no summer is complete without multiple trips to the boardwalk. Even though it’s a prerequisite, it’s still a pain in the ass sometimes. Heading down to Wildwood on the freaking 4th of July may have been another one of my dumber ideas, but I have to say, we pulled it off.

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This was a memorable day. It was sweltering and Wildwood was insanely mobbed with people. There was traffic and parking fees ranged from $60 dollars to over $100! If you didn’t mind walking a bit, and coincidentally had a ton of quarters, you could grab street parking for a couple of hours. Thanks to Will for making sure the meter didn’t run out! We had a few drinks, missed out on catching up with The Sewer Den, and we ate ‘roided up Mozzarella sticks! These babies were literally 3 times the size of your average mozzarella stick, much tastier, and not soggy whatsoever. Basically, if I were ever to create one of those Atkins Diet plans, it would be the Armpit diet and it would only include giant-sized fried cheese sticks with marinara sauce.

Miraculously, even more Ghostbusters memories were created. I hope you didn’t think you had to read 35,000 words and not get a mention of those rigged Wildwood boardwalk crane machines. I don’t gamble, but I do enjoy the crane machines. I blame Dinosaur Dracula for this. I always felt they were way too frustrating and I used to pump way too much money into them, but I’ve come to embrace how much fun they really are.

We found a couple of Ghostbusters crane machines and I did the $5 dollar option. On my last attempt, I grabbed a Stay Puft plush with the claw and dropped him right into the hole. That was a big win for me since I’m never successful on those. Winning a GB plush during this summer filled with Ghostbusters nostalgia couldn’t be any cooler. Well, it actually got slightly cooler. As I glanced further into the arcade we were in, I noticed the new Ghostbusters game that I missed out on at Dave and Buster’s! It was fate. That game was basically the same thing as Pokemon Go, except you blast ping pong balls at the ghosts. You use this steering wheel to lock onto your ghosts and blast them, and then a ping pong ball pops out and hit them. It’s weirdly awesome. The graphics were excellent, but the game is over super fast. Play this for the novelty factor and to add another fun activity to the gobs of Ghostbusters we’re able to partake in this summer.

RAY PARKER JR. ON ABC’S GREATEST HITS 

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It’s not too late, you still have a time left to dive into your own Ghostbusters activities, especially considering that the GB love-fest will likely continue all the way through Halloween. But for now, really let this summer sink in. We live in a world where Ray Parker Jr. arrived in an Ecto-1 surrounded by a troupe of female Ghostbuster dancers and performed the Ghostbusters theme song on a show called Greatest Hits on ABC. IS THIS REAL LIFE? He sounded frigging amazing as if it was 1984 all over again. I’ve watched it 8 times (click the pic above for the link). This summer of Ghostbusters is like a magnificent feast of Chinese food…make sure you slow down and savor it!

Halloween Countdown 2014, Halloween A-Z

Velcome to Castle Sexy Armpit! Just changing that W to a V made a world of difference, and it’s those little details that have completely transformed The Sexy Armpit into a virtual house or horrors, a terrifying realm of text in tribute to our favorite time of the entire year, HALLOWEEN!

For the past several years, The Sexy Armpit has taken on Halloween motifs that were parodies of stuff like famous horror film posters, and band themes like The Misfits. We continue the tradition with the parody you see above. This header is inspired by a brochure advertising the greatest haunted attraction of all time, Castle Dracula.

Castle Dracula is legendary among those of us who frequented the Wildwood boardwalk as kids. Although it burned down so long ago, it still lives on via the Internet. It’s been paid tribute many times by Matt from Dinosaur Dracula. He’s also gone on record to state  that “Last year’s Halloween season was one of the best ever,” and I am in full agreement with him. I’m not sure if 2014 will be able to surpass 2013, especially when the actual year number was an eerie one itself. Just from a commentator’s perspective, 2014 is going to have to pull off a big swerve to reach the haunted heights of last year.

So, the Halloween Countdown 2014 is on! On the horizon is our 2014 Halloween special which is categorized as “in production” as we speak.

It’s all a bit overwhelming for me. My brain is absolutely flooded with ideas. What will my costume be, will I have to drive all over creation to find the limited edition crap? It’s all about antici—PATION. My mind is racing with all the cool Halloween stuff, products, food gimmicks, events, attractions, costume parties, etc. We wait for it all year and then it just creeps up on us and BAM it’s officially here and I feel like I can’t possibly be ready. Glad this thing starts September 1st, otherwise it would be over with a snap of a monstrous finger.

There’s a moat around Sexy Armpit Castle, we’ll call it Crystal Lake, and we’re diving right in. The lake of course, is made of Ghoul-Aid, hopefully laced with some psychedelics.

So it’s here, we’re living it right now. It seems like everyone else is ready, while I feel ill prepared. It’s like those dreams that you show up late to class on a test day without studying for it. Well, that’s me right now and I’m in that Amazing Stories episode “Go to the Head of the Class” with Professor Beanes.

Every year I typically kick off The Sexy Armpit’s side of the Halloween countdown with a recap of the best posts of the previous years countdown. Since the blog is in it’s 10th year, I’m going to do it a little differently this time. Although I haven’t been doing the countdown for 10 years, I’ve still accumulated so many posts that I feel are worthy enough to present to you once again, especially since you may be new to the site. These are posts that include personal stories from life events, movies, attractions, trivia, monsters, and a homemade comic book among other things. Do a little digging and maybe you’ll unearth something spine tingling.

To get A through Z, I had to do some finagling to get it to work out. You’ll notice some repeats, for instance, it felt like I had 23 “H” entries and there could’ve been at least half of these starting with “S.” And you’ll also notice THAT I HAVE AN ENTRY FOR Q and Z! Hell yes.

CM Punk Rescued at Jersey Shore: A Sexy Armpit News Brief

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If the wrestling news and rumor sites are accurate, it’s been reported that CM Punk is now officially a “former WWE Superstar.” I still have a slight amount of hope that it’s all part of storyline though. Whether Punk ever returns to the ring or not, he still deserves a vacation. His woman, WWE Diva AJ Lee, begged him to go to Wildwood this summer, and becoming a softy in his old age, Punk gave in. Ordinarily he wouldn’t be caught dead in Jersey, but the irony is that he WAS almost caught dead there. Watch the Sexy Armpit news brief above for all the details on this near fatal occurrence. Later in the news brief is a video montage of The Sexy Armpit and Dinosaur Dracula’s trip to the Wildwood boardwalk! Music by The Brigantines. See them live playing shows this summer! Listen to a Free track at their official site: www.thebrigantines.com

Castle Dracula Was My Jam

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Growing up, a lot of my friends would brag about exotic vacations lasting several weeks that they went on every summer. I was never jealous of them because my family went to the Jersey Shore every summer, more specifically, Wildwood. If you remember the Santa Cruz scenes in The Lost Boys, the type of vibe happening on the Wildwood Boardwalk wasn’t too much different, and of course…all the damn vampires!

Although I enjoyed going to Wildwood immensely, I think I took many aspects of it for granted since the majority of my attention span was spent on daydreaming about Castle Dracula. Then, once I was actually on the boardwalk and in close proximity of the sinister fortress, I’d spend the next few minutes walking slowly toward the ornate Castle, spending every moment in awe of the dread it beamed up and down the boardwalk. For me, Castle Dracula was a mecca.

Aside from some funny stories at the local restaurant The Captain’s Table with my sister and my cousins, my main memories are of anticipating, and finally getting to go into Castle Dracula. When my sister was younger and more brave, she would come with me as we both had a blast getting the bejesus scared out of us. Of course there was boardwalk games, prizes, ice cream, and boogie boarding, but none of it was ever high on my priority list.

Once inside that Castle, my mind was in utter disbelief that I was actually about to experience my favorite haunted attraction again, and it was all located right in Jersey. Although I loved Disneyland and Disney World, I didn’t need to, nor did I get the opportunity to go to Disney every year like some of my friends. A lot of them seemed like they didn’t truly appreciate how grandiose their trips seemed to other kids who weren’t as lucky. Now, I’m so not implying that I was “less fortunate,” because that would be ri-f*cking-diculous. I was overjoyed to walk the boardwalk, fantasizing about one of the greatest dark rides the Jersey Shore has ever offered. It felt like it was there for me, and it was…for a long time.

Castle Dracula burned down in 2002.

Check out Matt’s amazing tribute from the X-E days:
And Dark in the Park’s got cool stuff about it as well:

KISS: ALIVE AND IN NEW JERSEY!!!

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Thanks to Funchase.com and YouTube user agr8dj for the info and video!

The Stone Pony, The Capitol Theatre, Brendan Byrne Arena a.k.a The Izod Center, you name it KISS has played there. Since they are usually associated with huge arenas and amphitheaters, it may come as a surprise to know that some tracks from an early KISS concert in Wildwood, NJ were actually used on their monumental ALIVE! album. Now, please join me as I shatter the conceptions of some of the more casual KISS fans…from Detroit.

ALIVE!, the monstrous breakthrough KISS album will eternally be connected with Cobo Hall in Detroit, now known as Cobo Center. Sure that’s where the bulk of it was recorded, but other live recordings were incorporated from performances in Ohio, Iowa, and at the Wildwood Convention Center in New Jersey.

We all know that you gotta lose your mind in “Detroit Rock City,” but whoa whoa whoa whoa what about those Wildwood Days”? Michigan was a favorite stop for KISS in their early days, but the New York area is where they are originally from, so aside from playing in New York clubs, playing shows across the river in Jersey was probably the ultimate convenience for the band. Can you picture KISS on the Jersey Shore? Neither can I, unless they facing the Phantom of the Pier…Morey’s Pier of course.

It made sense that KISS played a vital show in Widwood, NJ. The doo-wop style shore town has always been a tourist attraction and KISS will play any venue where people are shelling out wads of cash. Originally the show was set to take place on July 5th, 1975, but was rescheduled to July 23rd, apparently due to the band being in a car accident.

All this information was culled from a website that just makes me drool with all it’s Jersey nostalgia called Funchase! Check it out and you’ll see all kinds of cool stuff and memories of Wildwood including photos, concert tickets, and newspaper clippings of pop culture goodness. Above is a video from YouTube user agr8dj that offers some photos he took of the concert as well as pics of the concert ticket from Funchase.

*KISS plays PNC Bank Arts Center in Holmdel NJ tonight 9/21 with Motley Crue!

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 79: Angry Birds in Wildwood!

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Angry Birds T-Shirts on the Wildwood Boardwalk

Have you checked yourself into an Angry Birds 12 step program yet? If not, you need to come to terms with your addiction! The widespread fixation with Angry Birds has had millions of people’s fingers attached to their touch screen smart phones as they attempt to slingshot birds into innocent swine. I’ve never even played the game, but it seems like everywhere I look at least one person is playing this damn game. According to Wikipedia, Angry Birds has been downloaded over 300 million times so far combined across all platforms. I haven’t seen this kind of fervor for a video game on a phone since Tetris or Bejeweled. Although I haven’t launched any birds from a virtual slingshot myself, I actually have had the pleasure of flinging wrestlers via the WWE Superstar Slingshot game app. That game is the same concept although instead of birds you can catapult John Cena into Randy Orton. If you’re an Angry Birds obsessed New Jerseyan, the schlocky t-shirts I spotted on the Wildwood Boardwalk are especially for you. Do these tees signal the metaphorical angry bird jumping the shark?

WWE RAW World Tour Comes to Wildwood Tomorrow!

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WWE brings their RAW World Tour to the Wildwood Convention Center tomorrow 7/23/11. An awesome intimate venue to watch the superstars of WWE battle it out. One match previously announced is The Miz vs. Alex Riley in a match that will give the fans the chance to choose the stipulation: either falls count anywhere or a street fight. Either one of those options may lead this knock down drag out feud right onto the damn Wildwood boardwalk! I ended another post this week with this, but I’m going to use it again and mix it up a bit…WATCH THE TRAM CAR MIZ! 
Tickets are still available HERE!

Best Boardwalks In The U.S!

Best Boardwalks in U.S
To many of us in Jersey, the boardwalk is not only a big part of our summer, but we have so many memories walking them with our parents and friends. New Jersey is home to 2 of the best boardwalks in the United States according to the list published on National Geographic’s website. Seaside and Point Pleasant didn’t make the list, but Atlantic City nabbed the top spot, and surprisingly, Wildwood came in at number 10. Although I’m biased, it would be totally illogical not to have at least one of NJ’s boardwalks high on the list since we are pretty much known for them. Watch the tram car please! 

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 69: Monstrous Wildwood Energy

Monster Energy style Wildwood T-Shirt

When I take a sip of that bubbly Monster Energy Drink it makes me feel like I’m splashing in the ocean at New Jersey’s premiere, moderately priced resort town, Wildwood. And on the flip side, just the sheer idea of being in Wildwood transforms me into a ferocious energized beast. You know what activates me even more than sipping an energy drink on a sunny summer day at the Jersey Shore? Blatant displays of trademark infringement! Whaddya know? If you turn the clawed out letter “M” on the Monster can upside down, you have a “W,” which stands for Wildwood!

When I’m on the boardwalk and I slip this t-shirt on, it propels me to a ridiculuously high level of primal savagery. Inhaling 7 full paper plates of funnel cake in mere milliseconds is only the tip of the iceberg. Instead of standing aside and just “watching the tram car,” I started huffing and puffing and sprinted right towards it head on. I wasn’t playing a game of chicken with the tramcar either. I actually tackled a moving tramcar at full speed and then swung it around over my head at least 2 or 3 times just because I had so much energy to expel.

I’m telling you, these Monster style Wildwood t-shirts need to come with some kind of surgeon general warning: “PLEASE DO NOT WEAR THIS T-SHIRT IF YOU ARE ALREADY AWESOME AT WRECKING SHIT UP BECAUSE ONCE YOU PUT IT ON YOU WILL BE DOUBLY GOOD AT WRECKING SHIT UP AND THAT’S NOT COOL BECAUSE YOU ARE CLEARLY ALREADY RECKLESS AND YOU WILL BE A DANGER TO THE OTHER FINE CITIZENS ON THE BOARDWALK OR WHEREVER YOU MAY BE, ALSO, THIS T-SHIRT WILL NOT PROTECT YOU FROM ANY SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASES, OH, AND DO NOT WEAR IF YOU ARE PREGNANT.”