Halloween 2015: There Was So Much Stuff!


There was so much stuff. That’s what I’ll remember most about Halloween 2015. That and the fact that “‘ween” and “15” rhyme made this such a memorable season. Of course there was the Sexy Armpit Halloween Special AND this year marked the beginning of The Purple Stuff Podcast. Can we pile on anymore stuff?


Think about it, grocery stores had aisles of limited edition Halloween cereal and candy packed from floor to ceiling! We saw BK’s Halloween Whoppers, Krispy Kreme donuts, Pumpkin Spice Twinkies, and spooky 7-11 cups. What’s crazier is that I didn’t even name half the stuff you probably bought on a whim at Target! Starbucks even jumped into the game with their release of A FRIGGIN’ COUNT FRAPPULA FRAPPUCCINO…wha-what? There was just so much that the sheer amount of Halloween spirit was awe inspiring. It was like Christmas morning for Halloween lovers for like 2 months straight. While in the midst of the season it may have been hard to process all this, but after the fog juice clears, it’s easy to see that Halloween 2015 was completely nuts in all the right ways.

I’m not sure if I’m rationalizing this or not, but think about it: quantity was the underlying theme this year. I’ve already touched on the amount of food and snack gimmicks that we were bestowed with, but what about everything else? In terms of my own little universe, our Halloween Special was an anthology, so you wound up getting THREE mini stories in one episode. It was pretty epic for us. Premiering a couple of weeks after our special was the anthology Tales of Halloween, with more stories crammed into it than I thought was humanly possible. We also saw the arrival of the long anticipated graphic novel Trick ‘r Treat: Days of the Dead which tipped the scales at heavy 144 pages! I’m here to urge you to reflect back and marvel at just how colossal this Halloween really was. I for one am still basking in its glow.

We had so much of the good ol’ BOO and yes, we know about the green POO, but I’m certainly not complaining. Monster Cereals were back in such a big way that they had various types of boxes to collect. You could even build a freaking mansion out of some of them! I still cannot believe that I have a Monster Cereal Mansion in my living room, as Old Man Parker would say, “…it’s indescribably beautiful!”

What’s Halloweenier than a Jack O’ Lantern vomiting Spinach Artichoke Dip for all to enjoy? I took this shot at the Carnival of Shadows Masquerade at Trenton Artworks 10/24/15

This Halloween was awesome. I’m not merely listing all the crap that came out this season, but it’s important to mark this Halloween season as one that felt like it wasn’t a struggle to be a Halloween fan. When every company is slapping their products with limited edition labels and squirting them with pumpkin spice magic and ghost shapes, that is always accepted in my world. And while I’m on the subject of my world, last year for the masquerades I attended, I wore the same costume twice. This year, I somehow managed to conjure up 2 different costumes for the parties I went to. Double the work, but double the fun. Where are those More twins from The Final Chapter?


Here I am as the Kenner Grim Reaper Action Figure from the Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure line which I wore to the Trenton Artworks Carnival of Shadows Masquerade party. As the story typically goes, this costume was on my short list of ideas every Halloween, so it was awesome to finally get to do it. Of course, no one knew who I was supposed to be and I was 100% expecting that. I don’t create these costumes to get a rise out of people, if that was the case there’s so many obvious costume choices in the Spirit Halloween store that I could easily go out and buy. Nothing made me happier than to see friends on social media totally geek out at this. That’s why I enjoy participating in social media, because in my real life nobody sees the cool factor in dressing up as an obscure Kenner action figure. They’re missing out and they can go back to gawking at some HILARIOUS guy who bought the Caitlyn Jenner costume. “Hey Henry, can you believe how creative Todd is in that Caitlyn Jenner costume…oh he’s always the life of the party!”

These Pumpkin decorations hanging from the ceiling really manage to add that extra old school flair to an otherwise lame Halloween party. We made our own fun anyway.

On Halloween night, we played it low key, but still went out to a local establishment for a Halloween party. It wasn’t much of a Halloween party since about 60% of the joint was NOT in costume, unless everyone was dressed in that classic “Miserable, Middle-Aged Drunk” costume. I think Ben Cooper manufactured that at one point. Seriously, a Halloween party is not a Halloween party without the costumes. At least we know where not to go next year. The place had a couple of saving graces though. First, the ’80s cover band was pretty decent and their female lead singer was dressed as Big Bird, so yeah, that was surreal and right up my alley. Then, when I went to find the bathroom, I saw their elaborate Halloween decorations which I spent about 20 minutes Instagramming. No one knew where I was for a while. At one point, a twenty-something girl stopped me, grabbed my arms, stared at me and said to me in a very serious tone, “You are scarier than any of these Halloween decorations.” I chuckled like a big doof and said ‘Thanks, you look pretty scary yourself” which was a joke that I don’t think landed properly since she was in a Cinderella costume. She gave me a dirty look. It was fine nonetheless because, as I was walking into the bathroom, I heard a noise and looked back to see that she stumbled over her own feet, fell into the exit doors, and face-planted on the pavement outside. She was a little tipsy, but don’t worry, her friends were there to assist her. She was A-OK as she awaited her Pumpkin carriage and/or Uber.


On Halloween night I dressed up as Alice Cooper in a straight jacket, which is based off of a portion of his live concert spectacle. Miss Sexy Armpit did a badass job on my wig and makeup too. In comparison to previous costume help that I’ve enlisted her for, this one was pretty easy for her. I got a lot of compliments and it was fun to be Alice for a night, especially since it was another costume that I had been meaning to do for several years. Miss Sexy Armpit was WWE Superstar, and one of my personal favorites, Paige. I even noticed a guy in a Bubba Ray Dudley costume walk in and he and I immediately gravitated to each other because wrestling fans just do that. It’s like, “hey, you’re weird like me! let’s talk about pro-wrestling in public fairly audibly as if it’s a real sanctioned sport!” Later in the night they rolled back over with their new friend STING! It was a who’s who of the WWE.


I recall a few Halloween’s in recent memory where I almost felt guilty for celebrating as hardcore as I do, but this season, all the binging on Halloween was perfectly acceptable. It feels like Halloween is truly getting to a point that it demands more respect as a bonafide holiday. Usually, Halloween gets curb stomped by Christmas way too soon, but not this year. Thanksgiving and Christmas felt like they swooped in at a strangely appropriate time. Is this all just me? Am I officially taking crazy pills? I know I was taking Hallocor in the Halloween Special, so maybe I’m still on a bender? All I know is, I never give up on Halloween, it possesses me all year long.


I hope you enjoyed your Halloween season! Did you dress up in a cool costume? What was your favorite part of Halloween 2015? Leave us a comment! Thank you for reading and celebrating with us!

Our Monster’s Ball Halloween Costumes 2014

View our Flickr Album from this event for larger photos here:

Last Saturday I worked on my costume right up until the moment I walked out the door. Where was I off to? The Trenton Artworks Monster’s Ball which was a masquerade-art show-concert-party. Have you ever been to one of them? Well, neither have I, until now! We had a blast and it wouldn’t be a Halloween celebration here at the blog unless I documented the festivities for you, so here we go!

As I mention here every year, choosing who I want to dress up as for Halloween is never easy. I need some sort of divine inspiration, which sometimes doesn’t come until the very last minute. This year, I went with a character that I wanted to tackle for about 6 or 7 years now, but didn’t think I’d be able to pull it off properly.


The Diabolical Disc Demon a.k.a The Phantom was a Scooby Doo Villain in ONE EPISODE, but that was all it took to leave a lifelong impression on me. I’ve wanted to be him for Halloween for so long and I’ve had his mask at the top of my closet for 4 years now. He scared me the same way as Gene Simmons did when I was a kid, but as I grew up I realized he was just a knockoff of Gene, or more accurately a mixture of Gene’s makeup style and hints of Ace Frehley’s costume (hell, they even lifted his nickname ACE Decade.) I made up my mind and I knew it was high time that I finally embodied the Disc Demon for a night.


Miss Sexy Armpit decided she wanted to be Frankie Stein, my favorite Monster High doll this year. A couple of years back she was Draculaura which came out awesome, but I’m biased toward Frankie though. She did a great job with her costume and makeup as always. So, we were locked in with our costume decisions. It was just a matter of completing our costumes and then figuring out where we would actually go. It’s one thing to have kickass costumes, but if no plans are made, then we’d just be taking selfies in the bathroom at home all night and eating guacamole and passing out on the couch.

I made the executive decision to head off to Trenton, NJ for the Monster’s Ball.

The early evening on Saturday began pretty typically for me. And by that, I mean disastrous. With me, you know nothing’s ever easy, so realizing that I bought the “standard size” blue spandex suit was quite a debacle. Seemed like the right choice, but NOPE. What a dumbass! This thing couldn’t have been more constricting if I had Damien the snake wrapped around my entire body. It’s only for guys from 5’4″ – 5’10” and 120-165 lbs. I’m 6 ft and about 190 some odd lbs. I was a bit uncomfortable, but I toughed it out in the name of Halloween.


Once I got myself situated, we took some pictures. After all, the photos are the only way to commemorate these occasions. Apologies to Mike and Lauren who were waiting for us outside for like half an hour unbeknownst to me as I took creepy bathroom selfies at my friends house. Mike was the Red Hood and his wife Lauren was Jean Grey/Phoenix. Finally, we piled into Mike’s (@IdiotatPlay) car and headed to Trenton. Lots of cars whizzed by and stared at me as if I looked out of the ordinary or something.

Literally as soon as I walked in the door to check in, one guy was like “Whoa the Disc Demon, right?!! So cool man!” I couldn’t believe I was recognized so quickly as such an obscure character, but it started the party with a positive vibe.


Once inside, Miss Sexy Armpit immediately grabbed me to point out the costumes of a couple in front of us. Our first choice this year was going to be Dick Tracy and Breathless Mahoney, and boy am I glad we opted against it because this couple looked fantastic as them. They knocked it out of the park.

The entire Artworks building was decked out for Halloween with all kinds of homemade creepy decorations enhancing the atmosphere as well as pieces of art based off horror movies and Halloween. We met up with our good friend Bob Burke who created that kickass glowing Halloween 3 print I got at the Punk Rock Flea market not too long ago. One of his pieces of art was on display here as well and it’s one of my favorites of his, here I am in the pic below posing with it.

Take a look at some of the other cool art on display at this party:


Not to sound purposely vague, but there were several rooms with different things going on. One room had activities like a photo booth and some kind of other situation that I have absolutely no recollection of. I’m hoping to continue being less descriptive about the random activities going on. All I remember is Bob and I bringing up Step Brothers and how much space there was for activities. Always. Any time someone merely says the word activities that’s what comes up, it’s a prerequisite. Another activity was EATING. Here’s the room with the hors d’oe uvres, NOTE the cheese balls! My kind of f’n party!


One thing I remember for sure was the room with all the drinks had horror films and spooky animated shorts showing being projected on a screen. There were also some cool blacklit glowing trees. I tried putting one in Mike’s trunk but it was way too big. I tried to avoid the blatant sexual innuendo in that sentence, but there was just no other way to describe that. Ultimately I wanted to tie it to the top of his car like Aunt Edna, but they all talked me out of it considering how I was dressed. The cops would’ve loved that. “License and registration sir, wait, is that a glowing tree tied to your roof? And a Disc Demon in the back seat? I’m calling in some backup…” In New Jersey that’s ground for incarceration. Ok, so I didn’t try stealing the glow tree, but I did have to drink my beer through a straw. I stuck it in the mouth hole. Boom, there’s another one for ya.

Once the party was in full swing, I got that feeling. That type of feeling that I used to get at the high school Halloween masquerade party. Those were the best. I looked forward to them each year. Sophomore year I won runner up, while junior and senior year I won scariest costume. All 3 years I dressed up as Gene Simmmons from KISS. What really put it over though was that I was completely in character. I’d go up to a circle of people whether I was friends with them or not and I’d stare at them and very slowly and subtly started drooling blood out of my mouth. I would go to these parties with literally 200 blood capsules. The best part was that even though everyone knew I was the resident KISS fan, one of the only ones in the school mind you, people were scared and they weren’t sure if it was me or someone that was planted at the party as some sort of creepy entertainment.

Back to the Artworks party. The DJ was pumping Halloween tunes like “Nightmare on My Street,” and it was my kind of crowd and vibe. Everyone was having a good time and they weren’t getting out of hand, which was good because I didn’t feel like kicking some ass in a spandex body suit and 35 lbs of felt. Then, without any warning, a troupe of belly dancers joined together in the middle of the dance floor and began their exotic gyrations. That’s when everyone knew the shit was on. It was like a mango sorbet aged about 60 years to cleanse the palate of all those cheese balls.

It was about 10:30 which signalled the costume contest. There were some cool costumes I scoped out throughout the night including a dude Maleficent who I referred to as MALEficent. Each entrant to the contest went up on a little stage and showed off for the judges. For some reason I was at the front of the line with Miss Sexy Armpit, but I was asked to go to the back of the line for some reason. I thought I was in trouble, or I was just too damn tall in these 6 inch boots.

When they were ready to announce the winners I had absolutely no clue who would win, but my theory was that it would be the girl who dressed as the Queen of Hearts from Alice in Wonderland. She seemed like a safe bet. They gave out prizes to one or two runners up, and I wasn’t even paying attention then I heard the woman announcer yell “there’s only ONE Diabolical Disc Demon…” I couldn’t believe it. I never go with what will be popular in terms of costume choice, I go with what inspires me, and this time it really impressed the judges! The last time I’d won a costume contest was when we got 3rd runner up for our Macho Man and Elizabeth costumes at a masquerade about 5 years ago. This time I won First place and took home $100 bucks. Not too shabby. I probably spent nearly double that on putting together te costume though, but I’m not complaining!


After the contest was over, the energetic band with the tiny frontwoman wearing the aerobics costume, Molly Rhythm, started their set. After checking them out for a bit, we capped things off appropriately, the way most late nights in New Jersey end…at the diner.

Now…to do it all again on Halloween!

Trenton Punk Rock Flea Market Yields a Terrifying Trinket!


Trenton’s Punk Rock Flea Market has endless vendor tables selling everything ranging from original art and toys to random knickknacks and vinyl record collections. On Sunday August 3rd, we were on our way back from Atlantic City for the KISS show and I’m glad we decided to stop into this array of randomness. Read on to see what I came home with!

The PRFM takes place inside the nationally registered historic Roebling Machine Shop, which was built in 1890 and is dusty, sort of decrepit, and chock full of charm. There’s no better place for this type of event, unless there’s another available historic machine shop in New Jersey that’s twice the size and offers air conditioning. Doubt it. It was quite steamy in this place, and the incredible turnout of people only made it feel warmer. I felt like Janosz Poha in Ghosbusters 2, only I was drippingz with sweat, not goo, but judging by the photo below, you can see why we toughed it out.


Attracting a ton of people into Trenton who may not normally venture into the city, the PRFM has become a hotbed for people to buy and sell STUFF. I had a blast just gazing around at aisles upon aisles of it all… the stuff that is. As enticing as it was, and with Monster Mania coming up in matter of weeks, I promised myself I would keep my purchases to a minimum. Thankfully, I stuck to my guns.

Out of all the old records, posters, jewelry, comics, and toys, the only thing my eyes locked onto was a small Dracula figure. I was mesmerized by it for a few seconds, but instead of being overzealous, I waited on it because I had no idea what I’d find at the rest of the tables. What if I blew my minimal amount of cash on this small Dracula figure and then had nothing left if I ran into the Holy Grail item to end all Punk Rock Flea Markets?

The Art of Bob Burke!

It was right around this moment that I actually stopped in my tracks as I noticed one table full of glow in the dark canvases of horror art. What really got me was the homemade Halloween 3 TV setup behind their table! Talk about eye candy! My eyes were salivating over all these amazing pieces that were based on everything I like including Joker, Orko, Skeletor, Frankenstein, Fright Night, Dark Helmet, Jack Torrance, The Misfits, and Cobra. Every character and movie I’ve ever liked was here at this table and it was INSANE. Who is this mysterious incandescent artist you ask? His name is Bob Burke and he’s without question one of the coolest artists I’ve ever met.

 My new glowing Halloween 3 art by Bob Burke!

I couldn’t leave without this beautiful Halloween 3 piece. It will be perfect hanging in my place just in time for Halloween and beyond! Check out Bob Burke’s Facebook page and give him a LIKE! and Follow him on Instagram http://instagram.com/bobburkeart


Without forgetting my little vampire figurine from earlier, I kept him in the back of my mind as we made our way to the rest of the vendor tables. Miss Sexy Armpit picked up an NJ tank top from True Jersey, and she also got me the Jersey Batman T-shirt that I’ve had my eye on for a long time. Thanks to Miss Sexy Armpit for adding to my massive t-shirt collection! I’ll get a lot of wear out of it that’s for sure. True Jersey is a shop that I usually just hand my bank account number over to every time I see them at an event like this. When I pass their setup at Monster Mania I’ll have to put my head down and move along or else I’ll go bankrupt!

At this point we were getting a little antsy from the heat and we needed some food. Headed toward the front, I navigated over to the vendor that had the little old vampire guy. He was still there waiting for me. I inspected him further and noticed he was dusty, and far from mint condition. I also saw that he had a button and a battery compartment in the bottom, but he wasn’t working. “How much for this?” I asked the young girl behind the table. “I’m asking $10.” Seemed a bit steep of a price for a small figure with dead batteries that was in shabby condition, yet I had exactly $10 dollars left. Typically, I would’ve asked to go a little bit lower, and the girl even offered to go lower, but with two fives in my hand, I just felt it was meant to be. I exchanged the cash for the Drac and we swiftly made our way toward the exit.

from Instagram.com/sexyarmpit

Just before leaving, I ran into Robert Bruce who you may know from AMC’s Comic Book Men. I busted his chops because he still has my heli-pad from my Kenner Hall of Justice that I got from him a while back. While bullshitting, he gave me the inside scoop that, the week before, Comic Book Men had been filming a show guest starring KISS when they were in the area playing a show at the PNC Bank Arts Center in Holmdel, NJ. Shh…exclusive info for the 4th season!

There were about 5 or 6 different food trucks and the lines for each one were pretty intense. We got tired of waiting, and it was hot and humid out, so Miss Sexy Armpit suggested we try this little restaurant adjacent to the machine shop. Our impatient asses walked a few steps over to Mario’s Bar & Grill. Despite missing out on the food truck cuisine, we went home happy and with full stomachs.

There were some Mexican entrees featured in the menu, and although I didn’t see them listed I asked the waitress if they had empanadas. She said they aren’t on the menu, but they could certainly make them for me. So the secret super special unlisted empanadas were a GO! They were delicious and the entire bill for the both of us cost less than $20 dollars.

Photo on the Left from eBay and photo on the right via Monster In My Pocket Wikia

Immediately after getting back home I had to consult with eBay and a Google image search to find out more about this unusually creepy looking Dracula figure. Most likely, there are many toy crazed maniacs out there who recognized this guy in .2 milliseconds, but I hadn’t the slightest clue what line he was from. The girl who sold it to me mentioned it was a Monster in My Pocket, but I thought that was odd because all I remembered about that line was that the figures were all M.U.S.C.L.E sized and each one was painted a different bright color. This guy was more detailed and had a different look than the Monster in My Pockets that I recall, and those crazy sinister eyes!

My reservations about her accuracy were debunked as soon as the Google Image search results returned (Approximately 0.41 seconds, in case you’re keeping track). He wasn’t Dracula technically, he was simply “Vampire,” and was indeed part of a 1992 offshoot series of Monster in My Pocket called Super Scary Howlers. This series of 4 figures featured Vampire, Wolfman, Swamp Beast, and Monster, each with eerie light up eyes and scary monstrous sounds!

Of course, I wish I had the packaging, but even if I did buy it Mint on Card, I probably would’ve taken it out, no matter how sacrilegious that sounds.

No idea how I missed this one when it was out, but according to at least a couple of sites that I perused, this line has become pretty rare, and a working set is even harder to come by. Presently, there’s a Mint on Card Vampire going for $44 dollars on eBay, which is obviously much more than what I spent on this loose version. Even better, a loose complete set of 4 is selling for $175 U.S dollars on eBay. That said, I’m already looking into financing my Master’s Degree in Ufology based solely off of what I make from selling this guy. Shit, I’m totally not serious about selling him. Way serious about the Ufology though.

This was an unexpectedly cool pickup! If you were wondering, I placed an order for LR batteries on Amazon so I can check to see if this baby works. If it does, he will be my official buddy for the 2014 Halloween season. Keep you posted on Twitter: @sexyarmpit.

Let’s break it down in case there’s a pop quiz. I brought home a glowing piece of Halloween 3 art from my favorite shot in the film, a Batman style Jersey t-shirt, got the inside scoop on an upcoming Comic Book Men episode, and have added a 22-year old light up Vampire figure to my collection. As you can see, the Trenton Punk Rock Flea Market was an overwhelming success, and if you can get there, I totally recommend going to the next one!

New Monster High Dolls? They’re All Together Ooky…The Jersey Devil Family?

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Some days I just can’t take my attention off Deviant Art. It’s an addicting endeavor for me. I remember a while back when friends used to tell me they’d be on MySpace for hours, but I used to log in merely to check my messages, possibly update my status depending on how motivated I was, and then just log the f*ck out. Deviant Art is really the only site I will become mesmerized by. Some people are addicted to Reddit or Buzzfeed and I just can’t get into them. Maybe I like Deviant Art so much because I get to look at pictures? Well, who doesn’t? It’s no different than when I was a kid and loved looking at the pictures in a book when someone was reading me a story. And just the same way it was back then, every once in while you find something really cool as you’ll see when we pay a call on The Jersey Devil family.

The New Jersey artists, CelebiObsession, Ninapedia, and her little sister seem to be huge fans of Mattel’s Monster High line of dolls and cartoons, a trait I share and don’t make it much of a secret. The artists clearly have pride in the fact that they’re from Jersey because they decided to bring New Jersey into the world of Monster High. It seems like a no brainer for them to incorporate New Jersey’s most notorious urban legend with the popular doll series based off classic movie monsters.

Honestly, there hasn’t been a more logical character breeding like this since the original Monster High lineup. Frankie Stein, Draculaura and the other characters’ lineage makes sense. If there actually were Monster High characters from Jersey, there’s such a low chance that they’d be anything other than relatives of The Jersey Devil. Think about it, how perturbed would the Italian community be if dolls came out who were offspring of a long dead Jersey mob boss or since they are aimed at younger kids, a demon guido? That would cause problems so I’d definitely see the brain trust at Mattel taking the fastest route to the Pine Barrens on that one.

Long story short, that wacky red bastard J.D invited me over for a few brews and to meet the family, so here they are below and if you’d like to visit the artists who created them you can visit their pages listed here: http://ninapedia.deviantart.com and http://celebiobsession.deviantart.com

Lillith Leeds – JD’s eldest daughter
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Trenton Leeds, Lillith’s older brother, digs disco fries, a popular late night snack at diners
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The artists named each of The Jersey Devil’s family members appropriately. All their last names are Leeds which is based off the actual family that spawned the legend of The Leeds Devil. Their first names are all based off places in New Jersey, except for Lilith, JD’s eldest daughter, who would most likely be the first to get the Monster High treatment out of all of these characters. Or perhaps simultaneously released with Trenton Leeds, as a brother-sister two-pack? Oh, I’m so tremendously geeky. Now, let’s take a look at the younger siblings in the Leeds family.

Dover likes sandwiches from the Rutgers Grease Trucks and has a twin sister, Camden
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Camden likes Salt Water Taffy, a candy with a long history at The Jersey Shore
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Harmony and Newton
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I find all this extremely creative and it’s the exact type of mash up of pop culture and the state of New Jersey that I love to capture here. The only flaw I could dig up on these is that I can’t help but thinking the characters should be older so they can truly be in Monster High School rather than Monster Elementary or Monster Middle School. Or some sort Monster Home School. Mattel take note, this is a good idea. And give those ladies a kickback when these go into production.

New Jersey’s Great Pop Culture Moments 75: The Super Friends!

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After popping in the Super Friends DVD “A Dangerous Fate,” I was surprised at how ridiculous some of the episodes were. When I was a kid, this show was my ultimate weekly cartoon viewing. It was certainly a different time for superheroes, but ever since extreme realism and darker themes took over the DC Universe, it’s hard to look at these old cartoons the same way. It sucks to say “old cartoons,” but it’s true, the Super Friends comprised my earliest Saturday mornings, and I have no regrets. I have most of the Super Friends official DVD releases, and once in a while I throw one in and watch a few episodes. It turns out that the episode I watched over the weekend had a little surprise for me.

“Elevator to Nowhere” from season 6 aired on September 27, 1980 and featured a team-up of Wonder Woman and The Atom. The events of this episode make it very clear that the Super Friends were easy marks and they allowed themselves to get scammed by villains all the time. If you’re a diabolical villain, luring any combination of Super Friends members into your lair or demonic device was not particularly difficult by any means and by that I mean it was like convincing a young child to calm down by giving them candy or balloons.

After hearing a message left on their emergency scanner, Wonder Woman and The Atom are “streaking” across the city in her invisible jet. They arrive at the lab of a scientist named Dr. Wells. (I wonder if that was Pamela Wells father?) The Atom was noticeably perturbed that he had to wake up in the middle of the night for this and he let Wells know about it. Why though? Isn’t he used to getting woken up in the middle of the night to save citizens from near disasters and fight off super-villains with his buddies?

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Washington Crossing the Delaware and finds those foreign spies 
Wonder Woman and The Atom in Trenton, NJ

Within about 30 seconds things get very TOP SECRET. And no, I’m not referring to the Val Kilmer movie. While in Dr. Well’s TOP SECRET underground lair, our heroes inadvertently waltz into a TOP SECRET time machine in the form of an elevator, which is still top secret thus far. Very coincidental that both happen to be top secret. This was nearly 20 years prior to Dr. Evil from Austin Powers mind you.

This is the moment where I was thinking “Wouldn’t it really be something if they end up in New Jersey somehow? Nah, that would never happen.” I just started getting a feeling. And sure enough, moments later, Wonder Woman pressed a button in the time elevator and accidentally activated it and sent them to Trenton, New Jersey in December of 1776 – the middle of the Revolutionary War. As you probably know, New Jersey was a major hub of activity during the war and General Washington spent much time in various places around the state.

Wonder Woman and her tiny pal are mistaken for foreign spies and arrested by the Continental Army – a fact that must’ve been conveniently overlooked in our history books. They are brought to General Washington so he could decide their fate and it’s here that The Atom gives him the idea that he’s going to be President. Just like the scene where Marty tells Goldie Wilson that he’s going to be Mayor of Hill Valley! At this point things get a little half assed. They get back to the elevator which sends them onto a Spanish galleon in the late 1600s where they meet a pirate, and then they encounter some dinosaurs as they head even further back to 70 million years BC to nab Wells.

Overall, this short episode is a pretty lame representation of the series. Perhaps it’s length limited it’s ability to be a really great parody of The Time Machine. All this talk of getting trapped in an elevator makes me think. I wish someone would make a Super Friends style parody of the 2010 film, Devil, using the DC heroes, now that would be pretty damn awesome.

Judith Light is February’s Garden State Playmate

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“ANGELA!” In my head I can hear Tony Danza’s rough voice ascend into a higher register as he replies to his boss with some mildly comedic response. I grew up watching Who’s The Boss and Judith Light played the uptight, ’80s yuppie Angela Bower to perfection. There were times when I lost a dream or two, but I found the trail and at the end was February’s Garden State Playmate, Judith Light!

Born in Trenton, NJ, Judith Light was starring in TV shows well before she broke out with Who’s the Boss. In fact, all throughout the late ’70s and ’80s you could catch her on TV pretty much any day of the week. She appeared on One Life to Live, St. Elsewhere, Remington Steele, Kojak, and Family Ties.

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One of her most well received performances was in the 1989 made-for-TV movie The Ryan White Story, about a 13 year old hemophiliac who contracted AIDS. In 1999, Light bravely took on the role in the off-Broadway show Wit where she shaved her head completely as she played a “literary academic dying of ovarian cancer” according to IMDB.

More recently, Light has appeared on Law and Order SVU, Ugly Betty, Nurse Jackie, and now you can catch her on one of my favorites…DALLAS! In the TNT reboot of the long running show, she plays Judith Ryland, the rotten and controlling mother (mother? really?) of the 2nd season’s villain.

*She attended St. Mary’s Hall in Burlington, NJ. (IMDB)

Amy Locane is November’s Garden State Playmate uhh I mean Cellmate!


Ohhh boy have I been keeping this one on the back burner for about 2 years. I’ve wanted to bestow the honor of GSP to Jersey girl Amy Locane for a while now, but there’s no more appropriate time to dub her the first ever Garden State Cellmate than the day she got convicted of vehicular homicide.

While the quality control department here at The Sexy Armpit strives to maintain the proper policies and procedures, sometimes we have to just throw the rule book out the window. I’m in no way commending the blonde actress, a once up and coming star who never rose above supporting roles, for driving drunk and killing a 60 year old woman in a car in front of her. In fact, she probably should serve more than the 5-10 year sentence she will be receiving. But I’m not a judge, I’m a blogger, and I will give her my own sentencing.


Clearly this woman is an idiot. Obviously, Amy is not too bright when it comes to decision making. After drinking at a cast party and then some more at a family barbecue, she got into her S.U.V to drive herself home and eventually crashed into a couple of cars. According to this story at The Daily Record, her blood alcohol level was nearly 3 times the legal limit. If she was at a family BBQ, why didn’t someone offer to bring her home? I’m sure alcohol is never in short supply in that family since Locane’s husband, Mark Bovenizer, owns a liquor store in Princeton.

Regardless of it being an accident or not, the real tragedy here is that an innocent mother and wife was killed. The accomplishments of Locane’s glamorous former career were quickly washed away thanks to her poor judgement. With that said, this post recalls Amy’s glory days one last time before she serves her time in prison.

To me, the pinnacle of Locane’s career and perhaps the role that guys of my generation remember her for the most, is her role in Airheads as Chaz’s annoying, but hot girlfriend Kayla. Years earlier, the glimpses I caught of Locane as Sandy in the previews for the first season of the original Melrose Place were the only reason I tuned in. If I could get the time back that I spent watching those episodes when I was a kid, I would spend them more wisely. What can I say, I was easily distracted by blondes back then.

Vital info from IMDB tells us that Locane was born in Trenton, NJ. She lives in Hopewell, NJ with her husband and 3 children. Some of her other film credits include School TiesCry Baby, Going All The Way, and Bongwater among others. Her birthday is coming up in December and she’ll be blowing out her candles in the slammer.

New Jersey’s Great Pop Culture Moments Vol.70: Paul Lynde Halloween Special


Paul Lynde’s classic Halloween special aired in 1976 and what kind of show would it have been without a joke about New Jersey? Even back then Jersey was the butt of jokes. On behalf of our state’s capitol, we were honored to be uttered in the same broadcast with the likes of KISS, Donny and Marie, and the Wicked Witch of the West herself, Margaret Hamilton!

Returning from a commercial break, Witchiepoo from H.R PufnStuf was reading The Exorcist and the Wicked Witch was reading Rosemary’s Baby, and then Paul Lynde materializes.

The Wicked Witch of the West Margaret Hamilton: “Welcome back, did you have a nice trip?”
Paul Lynde: “Terrible! The broom broke down over Trenton!”

New Jersey’s Great Pop Culture Moments Vol.57: The Hurricane

The Hurricane MovieAs I sit at my computer I can barely concentrate due to the violent winds firing a barrage of liquid bullets at my windows. Weather reports have supposedly downgraded the storm but it seems like we are experiencing a full fledged hurricane. The President and Governor have declared a state of emergency in New Jersey and the surrounding areas. About a million people have evacuated our shore towns. Casinos have been shut down for only the 3rd time in over 30 years. So, while I still have power and Internet service, I’d like to recommend some appropriate viewing in case you are looking for something to watch since you’re probably stuck indoors for the next day or so.

Despite accusations of it not being absolutely historically accurate, I still recommend you check out 1999’s “The Hurricane,” which features another first rate performance by Denzel Washington. Washington was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Actor and also took home a Golden Globe award for his work in the film and his turn was also lauded by Roger Ebert as being “on a par with his work in Malcom X.”

The biographical film of middleweight boxer Rubin “Hurricane” Carter’s life works best if you aren’t too familiar with his unfortunate story. Carter was wrongly convicted for a murder in Paterson, New Jersey in 1966 and spent 20 years in prison for it. It’s a compelling and tense drama filled with emotional performances and engrossing boxing sequences. The film also stars Deborah Unger, Liev Schreiber, Rod Steiger, Dan Hedaya, David Paymer, Debbi Morgan, and Vincent Pastore.

The Hurricane sign
A few interesting facts about the film:

– Bob Dylan’s 1975 protest song “Hurricane” is featured on the soundtrack and according to Wikipedia, Dylan visited Carter in prison and later wrote the song.

– Thanks to the film’s IMDB profile, the filming locations included East Jersey State Prison (Rahway Prison), Paterson NJ, and Trenton NJ.

– The picture of Malcolm X used in the film is actually a picture of Denzel Washington from the film Malcolm X.

New Jersey’s Great Pop Culture Moments Vol.52: Grammy’s Top 10


I’d rather watch someone scrape paint off a garage door than watch The Grammy Awards. Every year they are a complete waste of time. I’m usually against the idea of award shows and I tend to trash all of them, but I actually did enjoy the last American Music Awards. They kept it fresh and attempted to make it entertaining. My problem is that I left my musical taste back in 1988. The Grammy’s lost me at Lady Antebellum. Eminem doesn’t impress me and neither does Rhianna. The Arcade Fire confounded me when they were musical guests on SNL. I’m not going to become a fan of a band just because it gives me street cred or because that’s what the hipsters are doing. Does the fact that I’ve never even heard of Mumford and Sons mean I’ve been living under a rock? Not to sound old, but when I was young if a band named themselves Mumford and Sons they better be a magical troupe of Muppets otherwise they would be made fun of mercilessly.

Fortunately, the producers of The Grammys were wise enough to ask David Letterman to provide one of his classic Top 10 lists for the broadcast. Those few minutes listening to Dave rattle off one liners was the most entertaining part of the show. The number 7 joke even made reference to Trenton, NJ, and even though it wasn’t as funny as some of the other entries it was still cool.