pine barrens Archives - Sludge Central

New Monster High Dolls? They’re All Together Ooky…The Jersey Devil Family?

Posted on September 17, 2013 by sexyarmpit

Some days I just can’t take my attention off Deviant Art. It’s an addicting endeavor for me. I remember a while back when friends used to tell me they’d be on MySpace for hours, but I used to log in merely to check my messages, possibly update my status depending on how motivated I was, and then just log the f*ck out. Deviant Art is really the only site I will become mesmerized by. Some people are addicted to Reddit or Buzzfeed and I just can’t get into them. Maybe I like Deviant Art so much because I get to look at pictures? Well, who doesn’t? It’s no different than when I was a kid and loved looking at the pictures in a book when someone was reading me a story. And just the same way it was back then, every once in while you find something really cool as you’ll see when we pay a call on The Jersey Devil family.

The New Jersey artists, CelebiObsession, Ninapedia, and her little sister seem to be huge fans of Mattel’s Monster High line of dolls and cartoons, a trait I share and don’t make it much of a secret. The artists clearly have pride in the fact that they’re from Jersey because they decided to bring New Jersey into the world of Monster High. It seems like a no brainer for them to incorporate New Jersey’s most notorious urban legend with the popular doll series based off classic movie monsters.

Honestly, there hasn’t been a more logical character breeding like this since the original Monster High lineup. Frankie Stein, Draculaura and the other characters’ lineage makes sense. If there actually were Monster High characters from Jersey, there’s such a low chance that they’d be anything other than relatives of The Jersey Devil. Think about it, how perturbed would the Italian community be if dolls came out who were offspring of a long dead Jersey mob boss or since they are aimed at younger kids, a demon guido? That would cause problems so I’d definitely see the brain trust at Mattel taking the fastest route to the Pine Barrens on that one.

Long story short, that wacky red bastard J.D invited me over for a few brews and to meet the family, so here they are below and if you’d like to visit the artists who created them you can visit their pages listed here: http://ninapedia.deviantart.com and http://celebiobsession.deviantart.com

Lillith Leeds – JD’s eldest daughter

photo monster_high_lillith__celebiobsession01_zpsa03d0460.jpg

Trenton Leeds, Lillith’s older brother, digs disco fries, a popular late night snack at diners

The artists named each of The Jersey Devil’s family members appropriately. All their last names are Leeds which is based off the actual family that spawned the legend of The Leeds Devil. Their first names are all based off places in New Jersey, except for Lilith, JD’s eldest daughter, who would most likely be the first to get the Monster High treatment out of all of these characters. Or perhaps simultaneously released with Trenton Leeds, as a brother-sister two-pack? Oh, I’m so tremendously geeky. Now, let’s take a look at the younger siblings in the Leeds family.

Dover likes sandwiches from the Rutgers Grease Trucks and has a twin sister, Camden

photo doverleeds_celebiobsession_zps44984c6b.jpg

Camden likes Salt Water Taffy, a candy with a long history at The Jersey Shore

Harmony and Newton

I find all this extremely creative and it’s the exact type of mash up of pop culture and the state of New Jersey that I love to capture here. The only flaw I could dig up on these is that I can’t help but thinking the characters should be older so they can truly be in Monster High School rather than Monster Elementary or Monster Middle School. Or some sort Monster Home School. Mattel take note, this is a good idea. And give those ladies a kickback when these go into production.

X-Files: The Jersey Devil

Posted on October 8, 2012 by sexyarmpit

Are there any homeless people in your town? I’m sure most towns have a few vagrants here and there, but the way the X-Files portrayed Atlantic City back in 1993 was atrocious. In the episode “The Jersey Devil,” America’s Playground was comprised of a bunch of dilapidated old buildings inhabited by a thousand homeless people living on the sidewalks. Adding to this nonsense, they somehow weaseled in THE MOST WHACKED OUT TAKE ON THE JERSEY DEVIL IN THE HISTORY OF TIME.

No one should have ever let this happen. On October 8th, 1993, the still new Fox show The X-Files aired it’s 5th episode “The Jersey Devil.” It’s an episode that will go down in infamy as not only the worst X-Files episode of all time, but the worst episode of any television show in the history of the universe. If that sounds too preposterous to you, you MUST go back and watch this episode. It’s streaming on Netflix if you are so inclined.

Thankfully, I only watched this episode a couple of weeks ago so I haven’t lived 19 years with the terrible memories it. I’ve been stewing over it since I watched it because it made me so furiously angry and confused. I couldn’t understand how such an embarrassing episode was green-lit to actually air on TV. I think I may have only watched one or two X-Files episodes in my entire life, but this was not one of them.

There are so many things wrong with the episode. I’ll try to sum them up as briefly as possible for you. First of all, the plot was inaccurate and completely dumb. Here it is in a nutshell: A naked savage beast woman is THE JERSEY DEVIL. She normally lives in the Pine Barrens, but sometimes she goes to Atlantic City, no not on a senior bus trip, but on foot, and pillages the makeshift forts of HOMELESS people that seemed to comprise the entire span of Atlantic City. There’s been a report of a grisly murder in the Pine Barrens and Mulder wants the case so bad that he risks his life and his job to make it happen.

Eventually, beast woman of the Pines has a run in with Mulder (David Duchovny) but she eludes him. He then becomes obsessed with trying to track her down and apprehend her. After the nude savage cannibalistic beast woman goes and steals food from the garbage and terrorizes the homeless peeps of A.C, she stops at the Pool at Harrah’s to fist pump with DJ Pauly D. Ok, so that’s not how it went, but that would’ve been a way funnier story.

Beyond the plot there were other problems with this show. I couldn’t get over how bland the acting was. I realize there was supposed to be a certain chemistry between Mulder and Scully, but DAMN it was non-existent! Like George Carlin once said, “I’d rather watch flies f*ck” than watch these two interact with each other on the small screen. Duchovny’s acting seems to channel offbeat actors like Jeff Goldblum, but Goldblum’s idiosyncrasies and like-ability push him into the stratosphere while Duchovny acts like he’s a full frontal lobotomy patient. He’s monotone, and facially paralyzed. I realize some people worship this guy, but in this specific episode he made me question why he’s even an actor.

More puzzling is the fact that Duchovny was nominated for Golden Globe Awards for his performance in The X-Files. The Globe award staff must’ve been playing racquetball the night this episode aired. According to Wikipedia, after Duchovny read for the role during the casting process, the show creator Chris Carter thought he had “talked rather slowly” leading him to believe he was “not particularly bright.” He was playing an FBI agent, not a stoner!

Wikipedia ALSO notes that The Jersey Devil episode was “Pretty Silly,” and you know if Wikipedia says it, it’s 100% true! It comes down to this question: what does the Jersey Devil really look like? This episode will lead you to believe that J.D is a naked woman who lives in the woods, has animalistic tendencies, will kill people, eat garbage, and shoots down to A.C every now and again because there’s better tasting trash there.

Local myths legends are open to our interpretation, and I get that. It’s just that I believe if the Jersey Devil is going to be portrayed, he should be as scary and ferocious as many artists and accounts have described him over the years. And yes, something tells me it’s a HE, not a she.

What was that? You’re a fanatical X-Files fan and you are outright livid that I am insulting your blessed show? The X-Files obviously has a rabid fan base and this episode isn’t a classic example of how good it may have been. But don’t even bother defending the craptastic “Jersey Devil” episode. That’s not even a good silly adjective for it because most times things that are craptastic are actually good in a very crappy way, this one is soooo the complete opposite. Beware!

Jersey Devil Chocolates

Posted on October 7, 2012 by sexyarmpit

http://www.jerseydevilchocolates.com/

Dark Chocolate is said to produce a euphoric sensation in your brain. I’ve eaten plenty of it and it hasn’t been known to set my mouth on fire. Jersey Devil Chocolates can do both. The local company based in Madison, NJ offer their own devilish spin on the classic chocolate bar.

Plain old Hershey chocolate bars are classic, but it seems there’s a trend for spicy chocolate these days. Personally I’m not sure if I’d dig a hot pepper flavor in my candy bar, but I’m sure the legions of people who are into that type of thing know what they are talking about. The company describes their 54% cocoa dark chocolate bar as a “hot and spicy chocolate taste experience.” The bar contains chipotle flavor which adds heat and then dried cranberries provide the tartness.

This ties back to Jersey because we are known for our cranberries, especially the ones that come from the Pine Barrens. In fact, some tales of the Jersey Devil were told to keep people out of the Pine Barrens all together. The Barrens are a protected forest area in South Jersey with loads of natural resources, pure water, cranberry bogs, and rare species of animals and bugs living within it.

At their official site, Jersey Devil Chocolates posted a picture of their 14 year old son’s sketch of his idea of what their logo should look like and they refined it and used it for their official company logo! If you are interested in trying one of these chocolate bars, the company makes their chocolate available via their website for purchase of single bars, wholesale, and for fund raising.

LIKE them on Facebook!

“Jersey Devil” by Loner’s Society

Posted on October 5, 2012 by sexyarmpit

http://lonerssociety.bandcamp.com/track/jersey-devil

Loners Society is a band out of South Carolina who believes in the resurgence of 45 records. I like their thinking! I used to love listening to my collection of 45s when I was a kid. So what if I’m ancient, I found these guys through the magic of the Internet, so that makes up for it!

You won’t find a lot of “southern fried indie rock and roll” like Loners Society on my iTunes playlists, but one song from this band may be making its way into my collection. It’s the B-side of a “45” single called “Pinstripes” inspired by the New York Yankees. Flip it over and you’ll hear “Jersey Devil,” a mellow indie rock track with lyrics that reference “the Pines” as well as figurative comparisons to the outcast aspect of the Jersey Devil creature. The song picks up tempo at about a minute into the song and it becomes pretty breezy for a track about a monster that lives in the woods. I can switch to it for a breather in between Alice Cooper and The Misfits on my Halloween playlist! The 45 style single is $1.98 at their site.

The Loners Society Facebook page lists some of their influences such as Neil Young, The Lemonheads, The Eels, Tom Petty, and Bob Dylan, Sam Cooke, The Wallflowers, and Ryan Adams. Presently the band is signed to King City Records and are touring around the Carolinas. You can check them out at their official site http://www.lonerssociety.com or on their Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/lonerssociety.

The Barrens: A Direct To DVD Dud?

Posted on October 3, 2012 by sexyarmpit

A film about a family camping in the Pine Barrens being stalked by The Jersey Devil? I’m in. I’m always in when it comes to that freak J.D!

The Barrens had a nice little buzz going for itself when it was first announced a while back. I’m not sure the path horror films take during their production, but the majority of them nowadays seem to go directly to dvd/blu-ray. I was under the impression that this one would actually get a theatrical release, especially with the nation’s bizarre love affair with everything New Jersey after the popularity of Jersey Shore.

As it turns out, there’s a very limited theatrical release going on, and as Bloody Disgusting reports, a site called TUGG is trying to get it played in more theaters. There’s a showing planned for the AMC/Loews in Cherry Hill, NJ, on 10/18. Read more about the limited release here. For the most part, this one is going straight to home video and V.O.D. It’s not a bad thing for me because then I can experience it for myself without hearing how terrible it might be and I won’t have it spoiled by articles or tweets. As it looks right now though, I won’t have to worry about negative feedback since reviews on IMDB are pretty positive at this point.

Hopefully this film will finally be a proper treatment of the Jersey Devil legend. It’s written and directed by Darren Bousman of the Saw films and Repo! The Genetic Opera so that’s encouraging I suppose. Judging by the early reviews it’s more of a psychological thriller than a true horror film, which appeals to me immensely. I prefer movies like The Shining and Psycho over those full of cheap effects and explicit, in your face gore.

As I mentioned previously here, The Barrens was filmed in Canada rather than in Jersey, most likely to keep production costs down. Such was the case with 2009’s Carny starring Lou Diamond Phillips. If you’re wondering if you should check that movie out, I give you my opinion at this link. The Barrens stars’ Stephen Moyer of True Blood and Mia Kirshner and hits stores and On Demand on October 9th.

New Jersey’s Great Pop Culture Moments Vol.61: Scooby Doo Meets The Jersey Devil!

Posted on October 21, 2011 by sexyarmpit

Instead of just writing up a post and taking photos of the panels in this comic book I created a short video for you! This is all about the DC Scooby Doo comic book #44 featuring a story called “The Jersey Devil.”

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=70ttASG0jUU?rel=0]

Rumors of Jersey Devil Movie Are Bloody True!

Posted on October 2, 2011 by sexyarmpit

Since talk of the new big budget Jersey Devil movie, The Barrens, has proven true, now all we can to do is wait and hope that it doesn’t SUCK royally like it’s predecessors. Carny, and 13th Child were far from spine tingling and I hope that the producers of this film ensure that they do everything in their power to learn from previous train wrecks.

The plot centers around a father who takes his family to the vast woods of the Pine Barrens in New Jersey for a camping trip. While at Wharton State Forest, he believes they are being stalked by The Jersey Devil. All I can say is that if this gets a theatrical release I’ll be first on line, otherwise I’ll be pre-ordering it on Bluray!

Hopefully being released next fall, Stephen Moyer of True Blood will star in the film. It’s a shame that future Garden State Playmate Brit Morgan, who plays Debbie Pelt on True Blood, has not been cast in the film. She’s from Marlton, New Jersey and having a Jersey girl in the film would add to the authenticity.

The Barrens comes to you from writer/director/and producer, Darren Lynn Bousman, who was also the guy who brought us Saw II and Repo The Genetic Opera. Unfortunately though, The Barrens was filmed in Toronto, not actually in Jersey, but it’s still awesome news nonetheless!

Jersey Devil My Little Pony by Debra “Bee” Rohlfs

Posted on July 25, 2011 by sexyarmpit

Customizing My Little Pony toys is a big thing, and if you don’t believe me just Google it! You will see MLP customs inspired by the likes of Disney, Star Wars, Wizard of Oz, and even Beetlejuice among many others. I had a feeling there might be a custom MLP of The Jersey Devil so I started looking for one recently and discovered a truly kickass version created by artist Debra “Bee” Rohlfs in 2009.

Exposing it’s ferocious set of spiky fangs, Rohlf’s Jersey Devi is a hairy, horned beast. It’s My Little Pony lineage is barely apparent now. If Falkor the luckdragon from The NeverEnding Story was possessed by Zuul from Ghostbusters this is what it might look like. It’s a brilliant and detailed take on the fabled demon lurking around in the Pine Barrens of New Jersey. (All art and photos credited to Debra “Bee-Chan” Rohlfs.)

Rohlfs aka “Bee-Chan” also has a beautiful original art print of The Jersey Devil

available via her Deviant Art page.

TRANSFORMERS: Robots in New Jersey! Part 1 – Pine Barrens

Posted on July 1, 2011 by sexyarmpit

In the Transformers episode “Make Tracks,” the Megatron and the Decepticons steal hundreds of cars and attempt to turn them into drones to add to their powerful squad of evil robots. Tracks, the Autobot, poses as a stolen car and discovers the Decepticons remote facility that changes the stolen cars in the Pine Barrens of New Jersey. The Pine Barrens are made up of over a million acres of protected forest area, so this was a perfectly diabolical scheme. No one could possibly hear or see a gigantic space age industrial plant that creates Transformers in the middle of a forest that is intersected by two major highways. Gee, great plan Megatron! Way to go!

OPTIMUS PRIME: “Hmm, he might have been heading for New Jersey and the Pine Barrens”

POWERGLIDE: “Pine Barrens? What’s there?”

OPTIMUS PRIME: “That’s what we’re gonna find out, Powerglide”

Of course Optimus and his Autobots save the day, but if you’d like to watch the 2nd half of the episode that is based in New Jersey, it’s posted below. Thanks to YouTube user Bernard9782 has made it happen. Thanks to the Transformers Wiki, an unbelievable source for all kinds of minute Transformers tidbits.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZgYJA6ucjSc?rel=0]

CARNY (2009) Review: The Jersey Devil Joins The Circus

Posted on October 9, 2010 by sexyarmpit

I welcome any appearance of The Jersey Devil in all facets of media. JD has been the subject of a few films such as The Last Broadcast and 13th Child, but The Jersey Devil has yet to leave a mark in Hollywood. 2009’s Carny, was a step in the right direction, but not the badass horror flick that seemed to be depicted on it’s DVD cover. This was an RHI production (formerly Hallmark) which usually stands for low grade fare, but that didn’t bother me, I am a salivating beast constantly hunting for more Jersey Devil stuff to watch, and it started streaming on Netflix a while ago so I gave it a shot. I saved my thoughts for the Halloween countdown since it’s always best to let a movie sink in before I go writing about it irrationally.

The film begins in a small town, in of all places, Nebraska. The town is preparing to host a traveling carnival. While setting up, the carnival is derided by towns people as “the work of the devil.” The circus freaks are out in full force and so is the Jersey Devil. “What the hell is he doing in Nebraska?” you might ask. Well, it sounds like he took an insanely wrong turn on Route 287 if you ask me. The Jersey Devil is caged and on display for all to see and gawk at as part of the Carnival. That is until…he escapes and goes ballistic. It becomes The Jersey Devil versus the circus freaks and random towns people. The honorable and heroic cop, RICHIE!, ahem, I mean Lou Diamond Phillips, gathers his group of cronies to rid the town of the creature while the local pastor vows his own revenge on it for killing his son.

The Jersey Devil has become such a popular cryptid that creative license has caused him to terrorize other places besides strictly New Jersey. This defeats the purpose of the character. In Mystery of the Jersey Devil by Calu & Hart, The Jersey Devil is found to be a spirit meant to ward off anyone who hinders the growth and ecology of the stretch of rich Pine Barrens in southern Jersey. It might sound boring but that is one of the actual theories of why the legend exists. Putting him in another state as part of a traveling carnival is just plain wacky.

There IS a surprise ending. The keystone cops show up, and all of a sudden JD gets incarcerated in the local jail and gets shot with what seems like a pop gun several times. I remember hearing the line “I have slayed the beast…” seriously. There’s more after that but I’ll let you be unfulfilled for yourself. And stay for the closing credits where you’ll be serenaded by a bluesy rock song, “Pray For Dawn,” written and sang by RICHIE!, I mean Lou Diamond Phillips.

It must have come from New Jersey! – Garden State License Plate

You may think it’s a stretch, but the film does actually mix elements from the original King Kong and Universal Frankenstein films but it’s obviously nowhere near as good. The script could have used a little bit more humor instead of taking itself so seriously. DVDTalk.com has compared it to the ’80s horror vibe of “Friday the 13th The Series or HBO’s Tales from the Crypt,” and though I see the comparison, it’s not as imaginative or creepy as some of the aforementioned series’ best episodes.

The Jersey Devil’s look is pretty faithful to the way we know him, but he’s actually never been uglier or more ferocious. A beast like this could only be born in Jersey. In a review he posted at AssociatedContent.com, Kevin L. Powers said the film had “subpar CGI effects,” and I disagree. I don’t know the budget of the film, but the devil did not look cheap at all. Obviously, Powers doesn’t understand that for a movie of this scale, he can’t expect it to have Avatar-like CGI.

You’ll notice a lot of fake blood. When someone gets punched they spit a gallon of blood out of their mouth. The whole time I just wanted to yell RICHIE!!! and see Lou Diamond Phillips completely stop what he’s saying to look through the TV screen toward me and throw up his middle finger. He didn’t have the balls though. Not a bad film for someone who loves low to mid grade horror and the Jersey Devil legend during the Halloween season. Or if you’re just a fan of stock footage of people eating popcorn and riding ferris wheels, this is destined to be your part of your DVD collection.

A truly creepy Jersey Devil movie has yet to be made. It’s surprising too because that’s an urban legend whose story is deserving a seriously scary adaptation. Hopefully when one finally does get made, it will be filmed in New Jersey, not Canada. If you have no patience for this kinda stuff go find a few bootletg copies of Carnie!, Carnie Wilson’s ill fated talk show, now that was way scarier.