New Jersey’s Great Pop Culture Moments Vol.82: The Muppets Drive to NJ!

There’s not much that can make you feel better when you’re sick…except maybe The Muppets.

I’ve been utilizing all of the traditional methods with the intentions of feeling better, including taking medicine, getting extra rest, and watching many therapeutic hours of Netflix and DVDs from my own collection. 
Aside from the other usual remedies like hot tea and chicken soup, I realized I’m on my own in my fight against whatever bug has invaded my body. In my case, my sinuses have been exploding through my face and I’ve had a cough that sounds like the bark of rabid dog. Not only have I felt really crappy, I’ve also been annoying the hell out of myself. At times I was too out of it to even get up off the couch. You know those types of days where you catch about 20 minutes of 6 different movies throughout the day because you’re in and out of consciousness and paying attention to a full movie is way too much work? 

When I finally rose from the couch, I was hungry, and I also felt in the mood to watch something starring The Muppets because I wasn’t able to get out and see Muppets Most Wanted this weekend.

I own all the Muppet films, some I recorded from TV when they originally aired, others were official purchases, so I had a bunch of stuff to choose from. My selection was offbeat and one that I’ve actually ignored since it first aired in 2005. Surprisingly, from the dusty innards of one of my DVD cases, I picked out Muppets Wizard of Oz. It was the original broadcast that I recorded when it aired on The Wonderful World of Disney. It even had an intro with Michael Eisner like he used to do in the ’80s. Not choosing one of the more popular Muppet offerings didn’t feel like my finest hour, but something was telling me it was the right choice. After watching it though, I may even rank it above one or two of the other Muppet endeavors. It’s not disappointing as some reviewers will lead you to believe. It’s pretty funny and it even stars Jeff Tambor!
That was the time Muppets traveled to OZ, but what about the time they travelled to New Jersey? YUUUP! They had a sweet gig live tweeting Super Bowl XLVIII, but the catch was that they had to get to MetLife Stadium in East Rutherford, NJ to meet up with Kermit the Frog first. Luckily the Muppets had been starring in a series of Toyota commercials during that time, so they had easy access to a fleet of their latest cars. They all crammed into a Toyota Highlander and hauled ass to the big game. And I write big game because they can’t say Super Bowl in the commercial, but the Swedish Chef can, well, sort of. The Sferndy Boom!

The Most Embarrassing Songs on My iPod

Everyone’s bound to experience one of those “uh-oh” moments if an embarrassing song starts playing on your iPod. Picture it, you’re rolling down the main street of your town, windows down, iPod on shuffle mode, and you have your friends in the car. Right after rocking out to “Welcome to the Jungle,” you hear the beginning chords of “Sexy Boy” the Shawn Michaels’ theme song or the Native American war chant that kicks off Tatanka’s theme song. Some of you may not even realize that they’re both WWE theme songs and in that case you may sidestep some shame. Although, you have to admit that at least a little part of you would squirm in your seat a bit.

How about when your iPod segues from Rob Zombie’s “Superbeast” right into “How Will I Know” by Whitney Houston? It’s totally cool to have Whitney on your iPod, especially if its one of her big hits, but when you’re in the car with a bunch of guy friends, and at the very least trying to act cool, your attempts are murdered by the sweet sound of synthesizers. You can win people over with goofy favorites like Wham’s “Wake Me Up Before you Go-Go,” but if their song “Freedom” comes on then your stock descends faster than the Delorean running low on plutonium. (pre-Mr. Fusion of course)

Having your friends ask you to unlock their car doors so they could tumble out while you’re still driving is a possibility if they hear you have the Baywatch theme song on your iPod. Whereas “Break the Ice” by John Farnham from the Rad soundtrack will actually give you street cred with those “in the know.” It’s possible to save yourself when a song comes on that the person doesn’t know but you’ll have to have a good enough story and reason for giving it the push to your almighty iPod. Here’s some examples: You can be forgiven for having Winger’s “Seventeen,” since it’s fun and nostalgic, but once you start digging into their catalog and “Out for the Count” from Karate Kid 3 comes on, then there’s not much that can save you at that point. Don’t let me forget “California” by Phantom Planet. It’s not really the song’s fault as much as it’s what I do when I’m listening to it. I reminisce about scenes from the O.C in a blurry, dramatic, tear-laden montage in my mind. I’ll dig deeper for you as I present a compendium of some of the most embarrassing songs on my iPod:

The Oompa Loopa Song from Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory
WWE Songs – The Boogeyman theme “Im the Boogeyman and I’m coming to get you!” and
Land of a Thousand Dances
Play That Funky Music by Vanilla Ice – Shit, how is it that you’re the life of the party if you play “Ninja Rap,” but you may as well crawl into a kitchen cabinet if “Roll ‘em Up” comes on.
Skeet Surfin’ by Nick Rivers/Val Kilmer – Top Secret Soundtrack
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Theme Song – Even though they’re the world’s most fearsome fighting team, you’re friend’s cut you no slack. Just hearing this theme emerge from a segue will always illicit some sort of heckle, so you’re lucky if you’re in the car with a fellow fan boy. That date of yours sure won’t be impressed that you’d rather listen to theme songs of old cartoons rather than Ne-Yo or Rhianna.
Other TV Theme Songs – Muppet Show, Charles in Charge, Mr. Belvedere, Perfect Strangers, Pee wee’s Playhouse Theme by Ellen Shaw (Cyndi Lauper). An interesting fact is that the Saved by the Bell theme song is always an overwhelming cross gender favorite.
King Tut – Steve Martin It’s a very funny song, but trying to hustle it to someone who’s never heard it proves challenging.
I’m Breathless songs inspired by the film Dick Tracy by Madonna Depending on your company in the car this album was obviously more embarrassing than Swept Away and Shangai Surprise combined.
Video Game Theme Songs – The magical songs from Alex Kidd in Miracle World make you come off like a real geek but you can get away with songs from Out Run because they sound like some underground new wave revival band from NYC. You can’t go wrong with the Super Mario brothers theme.
I Wanna Have Some Fun – Samantha Fox
Da Ya Think I’m Sexy? by Rod Stewart – I don’t care, I still love it.
Hot Rod Hearts – Robbie Dupree
Give it To Me Baby – Rick James
Party All the Time by Eddie Murphy and Rick James
Bruce by Rick Springfield here Rick talks about how he gets mistaken for “The Boss.”
Dancing In Heaven (Orbital Be-bop) by Q-Feel, Girls Just Want to Have Fun soundtrack
Sexyback – Poison rips off Justin Timberlake
Get this Party Started by Pink This is on the list just for being too girly.
Glory of Love – Peter Cetera from the Karate Kid part 2 soundtrack
Christmas songs up the wazoo – Merry Christmas Baby by my fav. Pepe the Prawn and R2D2 We Wish You a Merry Christmas! with vocals by Jon Bon Jovi! Girls definitely take heed when they are informed that Jon Bon Jovi appears on the song.
Paula Abdul Songs – Straight up, Cold Hearted Snake. Remember the video for Cold Hearted Snake that was freakin’ hot at the time
Stars are Blind by Paris Hilton
Physical by Olivia Newton John (It fulfills my ’80s aerobic girl fetish)
Step by Step by New Kids on the Block
Call Me Back by Mike Flowers Pops
Notorious by Loverboy
Take It Higher by Larry Greene, Over the Top Soundtrack
Playing with the Boys by Kenny Loggins, Top Gun Soundtrack. Apparently the scene that it plays in is called “homoerotic.” Strange…I didn’t realize a bunch of sweaty, shirtless guys in cut off jean shorts playing volleyball was at all gay.
Ewok Celebration/Finale by John Williams Affectionately known as the “Yub, Yub Song.” You’re pretty much slayed like a Rancor Monster if you get caught with this one playing.
We Don’t Have to Take Our Clothes Off by Jermaine Stewart
Flashdance…what a Feeling by Irene Cara
Howard the Duck performed by Lea Thompson and Holly Robinson Peete
Songs from The Grease 2 Soundtrack – Score Tonight, Who’s that Guy? among others.
Rock and Roll Part 2 by Gary Glitter. A top contender for most embarrassing track on my iPod since Glitter is a convicted pedophile. I hope I’m not denied entry into the plane to Vegas because I have this!
Anything by Franz Ferdinand
Who’s Johnny
– El Debarge
Kookie by Ed Byrnes
The Last Dragon by Dwight David, The Last Dragon Soundtrack
Smooth Up in Ya – Bulletboys
Porno Star by Buckcherry Ok this one is literally embarrassing. Imagine if your parents are in the car and the lyrics “don’t you know we fuck for money, I’m a big dick motherfucking porno star” blast through the speakers?
About Us by Brooke Hogan
I’ve Had the Time of My Life by Bill Medley/Jennifer Warnes, Dirty Dancing Soundtrack
Copa Cabana by Barry Manilow
Solid as Rock by Ashford and Simpson
Soldier of Love by Donny Osmond

I want to know…what are some of the most embarrassing tracks on your iPod?

Teleporting with Pepe the Prawn to watch the Luchagors…

NBC’s Heroes is definitely the best show on TV. I’m totally pumped right now for the next episode. I wish I had a super power. I suppose I’d like to have Hiro’s teleportation power. He can basically stop time and travel into the past and future. That’s a nifty thing to be able to do, but I know what you’re saying. Why wouldn’t I pick flying? I’d love to fly to and from work because it would cut down on the commute but the teleportation is way more intruiging. Hiro’s power kinda makes flying obsolete because you could just concentrate and then you’d be at work. Aside from the great powers it’s an awesome show and I recommend watching it if you aren’t hooked already.

Let’s hope that Jersey girl Ali Larter doesn’t jump ship if Resident Evil Extinction is a big hit. The odds are stacked against it especially because Ashanti apparently has a role in it. Let’s not forget her masterful role in The Muppets Wizard of Oz – probably one of the worst things to ever happen in Muppet history. The saving grace, Pepe the prawn, is one friggin’ hysterical Muppet…mmmkkkk.

And for anyone who is a WWE fan:
I watched the video of a live performance of Lita’s band the Luchagors. Man it wasn’t good at all. What makes wrestlers think they are cool enough to be rock stars? I understand that Fozzy has a cult following and I have no explanation for that but Lita in a punk band? Listen up for their banter in between songs it was the epitome of wit. If you’ve ever heard “When I get you alone” from the WWE Originals CD you have an idea of the depth of suckyness I am describing to you. Hell, don’t get me wrong I’ve always thought Lita was quite a hot piece of ass but lately she hasn’t been caring to much about her appearance and obviously not much about her career aspirations either. Contrast Lita with Mickie James and you can see why Mickie won the title last night on RAW.

The new Bond movie is gonna be great and I’d still like to see Borat among other movies.

I feel nauseous.

Kelly Kelly is so hot.