I just hotboxed my car, but not with weed…with a fart. It was just an awful, vomit inspiring moment. Then I escaped out of the car and the clean, frigid air permeated my nostrils and I felt born again. I don’t know about all that, but I definitely felt better inhaling some of that fresh air instead of the heated, decomposed salad I ate for dinner. For those of you who want to drop off at this point, I completely understand.
In other news unrelated to me ripping ass, today Gwen Stefani released her new album “The Sweet Escape,” and it’s definitely going to sell a ton of copies. I appreciate No Doubt, and Gwen Stefani’s solo music but she’s always had a knack for alienating her male fans. What I mean is this: How lame is it when you’re a guy jumping up and down at a concert singing “I’m Just a girl?” I’ve always been caught in the moment until that light bulb went off in my head. There was that revelation where I thought to myself “Wait a minute, I’m singing ‘I’m Just a Girl,’ what the hell is wrong with me?” So I had to just make peace with it and just try to have a good time at her shows without feeling like I might be a transvestite or something.
Fast forward to today when I was listening to the new CD rocking out to a song that Gwen premiered on her last tour called “Orange County Girl.” This song is really chilled out and it’s easy to get into and forget that you’re singing “I’m just an Orange County Girl living in an extraordinary world.” So Gwen did it to me again. Maybe she secretly likes to emasculate men, after all look at her dainty husband. As for my review of the album, I’ve only gotten through the first 3 tracks but I’m sure I’ll have more to report.
a few things…
School is over. F-school, F-all my classes
BON JOVI at CAA – amazing. As good as the Garden in November. They threw in some awesome songs that were unexpected. And how ’bout the shout out to WOODBRIDGE!! yeah baby.
A guy with a dumb mustache. At work the other day I literally couldn’t believe my eyes. This guy’s mustache was normal above his lip, but then on each side of his mouth it was made to look as thin as a string and it protruded out on each side of his face about 6 inches. I am not kidding! This might get lost in translation but you should have seen this douchbag. I wanted to punch him. I’m not even a violent person! What possesses people to grow dumb mustaches? I really want a reason. Especially from that ASS.
A gripe. Ever download illegally from Kazaa or Limewire? Of course you have. Here’s a funny one. How many times does a track spark your interest on there because it seems like an artist and song that you didn’t even know existed? Like Elton John singing “In Da Club” or some crap like that. I once saw C&C Music Factory doing “Rock and Roll All Night” No joke! Regardless, there are so many morons who mislabel tracks on there. Sometimes it’s awful because it will get you excited thinking it’s a rare track or something. It never is. I always see SAVE FERRIS as the artist when it’s usually another female fronted band like No Doubt. Are people living in the past? Save Ferris had ONE hit, and a minor one at that! A remake of “Come on Eileen!” Now apparently they are engraved in people’s memories. Do people think they are the only band with a female lead singer? What brings me to mentioning this is that I was listening to The Waitresses “Christmas Wrapping.” I was thinking of how their singer past away and how the surviving members could get the Save Ferris singer Monique Powell to be the new singer. Then it would prove all the little limewire fucks right. Or even better, Save Ferris could get back together and make a fucking CD of all the songs that the limewire fucks mistake for being them. SAVE FERRIS’ GREATEST HITS THAT AREN’T EVEN THEIRS BUT ARE NOW !!! Maybe even some Joan Jett, who knows?
And contrary to popular belief, Gwen Stefani is not pregnant with MY child…it is Gavin Rossdale’s – that bloke from BUSH…just to debunk the rumors…
Also, a few people have been asking me what “JAM” is…well that is all up to your wild sick perverted imaginations. And with Christmas cumming, you shouldn’t be thinking naughty thoughts because Santa won’t bring you anything!!!
It’s been a while. School’s been kicking my ass. Finals are coming up next week. Can’t wait to be done with this semester. I have 3 finals to go! After my computer crashed AGAIN yesterday I am fuming, but I have my wonderful girlfriend and my f’n amazing collection of Christmas songs to ease my sorrow. If you’re sick of hearing Mariah Carey’s All I want for Christmas is Poo, then here is my guide to Holiday Audio Enjoyment. With the YULE LOGS getting bigger and bigger with each passing day I figured I would mention a few Christmas songs that I HIGHLY recommend downloading these “podtastic” songs if you already don’t own them:
Things I Want by Sum 41 & Tenacious D
Christmas Is All Around Us – Love Actually soundtrack
Yellin’ At the Christmas Tree – Billy Idol
Back Door Santa – Bon Jovi
This Christmas – Christina Aguilera
I Wanna Rock You Hard This Christmas – The Dan Band (Old School)
Father Christmas – Lit
R2 D2 We Wish You A Merry Christmas – Meco
Oi To The World – NO DOUBT
Punk Rock Christmas – The Ravers
My Christmas List – Simple Plan
Rockin’ Christmas Time – 40 Foot Ringo
Mele Kalikimaka – Bing Crosby
Merry Christmas – Marvelous 3
Christmas Vacation – Mavis Staples
Merry Christmas Everybody – Rooney
Last Christmas – George Michael
The Phil Spector Album
Merry Christmas Baby – Springsteen
Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow! – Dean Martin
Wonderful Christmastime – Paul McCartney
Christmas Wrapping – The Waitresses
Christmas in Hollis – Run DMC
and one of my all time FAVORITES: All Alone On Christmas – Darlene Love – ONE OF THE BEST!!!
Merry Christmas and post any others that are your favorites or you think I should have listed!!! This is not a complete list by any means!