“I think you’ll agree that we’re one of the top 5 Mexican Restaurants in all of Northern New Jersey. It’s Derek Jeter’s Taco Hole off Route 3 in Nutley, New Jersey next to the Kinko’s and El Duqe’s Shoe Repair.”
From the Associated Press:
NJ Tops List in Anti-Semitic Hate Crimes
PARAMUS, N.J. (AP) — New Jersey had more anti-Semitic incidents reported in 2008 than any other state. The ADL says there were 238 incidents reported in the Garden State compared to 247 in 2007. California was second with 226 incidents reported and New York was third with 207. ADL regional director Etzion Neuer says the number of reports in New Jersey could be inflated compared to others because New Jersey has a large Jewish population. Information from: The Record of Bergen County, www.northjersey.com
WWE Superstar Dolph Ziggler, who formerly paraded around as a male cheerleader in The Spirit Squad, has proven himself a capable singles competitor on Friday Night Smackdown. Ziggler impressed me so much in such a short time and has soared high above another WWE Superstar who was supposedly destined for mega-success. Who is that other wrestler? Why it’s…(mic drops from rafters)…MISSSTTTEEERRR KENNEDY! Kennedy! Drawing comparisons between these two comes to me as easy as vomit travels up into my mouth whenever I see Vicki Guerrero.
As my silly “not based on real life” analogy comes to an abrupt halt, take a gander to the left and peep out this cool retro Pepsi can I found at Walmart last night. Out of all the cool cans that are part of Pepsi’s aluminum retro collection, this is closest to the one I grew up with. “Take the Pepsi Challenge” appears on a banner at the bottom. It brought back memories, especially considering the atrocity that is the latest Pepsi logo…if you can call it a logo. Why is it in this country we constantly feel the need to unnecessarily change things?
Finding this can at the bottom of the shelf in the soda aisle reminded me that I took some pictures of vintage soda art when I was in Las Vegas recently. In the waiting area of the New York, New York Roller Coaster, the walls feature some awesome murals of retro soft drinks. I was easily more enthralled by this artwork than I was the actual roller coaster, which completely sucked ass. It wasn’t a fun time at all and the wait time didn’t justify how shitty the ride was. Perhaps I’m just spoiled living right up the NJ Turnpike from Six Flags Great Adventure.
When The Sexy Armpit opens “The Soft Drink Hall of Fame,” these 2 pieces will surely be prime exhibits!
New York and New Jersey definitely have separate personalities but they’re still joined at the hip. We can compare these two states to say…hmm…a really bad Farrelly Brothers movie called Stuck on You? A news story I read on Google explained that Republicans are apprehensive about setting up shop in the very state they claimed they would win: New York! You’re reading this right, John McCain has set up a campaign headquarters in my hometown of Woodbridge, New Jersey. So what’s this, when you wimp out attempting to conquer NY you always have New Jersey to fall back on? Whoa…no way…as the Dude, this aggression will not stand, man! Perhaps Republicans think it’s more pleasant and inviting here? Maybe they haven’t breathed in the fumes or gazed over the bay at the lovely fuel refineries and beautiful landfills we offer? They should think again since I’m sure they haven’t seen me on the road wreaking havoc yet. But since the Republicans wimped out of staking claim in an office in what is only the greatest city in the world, they “settled” on us in NJ. Let’s face the music here folks, NJ never had a cool tag line like “I Love New York.” They don’t love us, we have and always been getting New York’s sloppy seconds!
The great folks over at Real Ghostbusters Online are putting the ectoplasm in motion for the FIRST EVER Ecto-Con! This Ghostbusters Convention will be held in Manhattan and I’m super pumped for this. I’ll be there with the Keymaster and the Gatekeeper, will you join us? I’m hoping to makeout with alot of Janine Melnitz wannabe’s. The people at RGBO were nice enough to post an entry to my love song to Janine Melnitz not to long ago, so go pay them a visit and VOTE to let them know if you would attend this event. I CANNOT WAIT! If you’re a Ghostbusters fan you NEED to be there! And if you run a blog or website, please spread the word so we can ensure this becomes an annual event! Thanks!
It’s obvious that New York has always trumped New Jersey in their bitter rivalry for popularity. Although, in the battle for who’s scummier, smellier, and who has the better strip clubs, it’s usually a pretty close match up. A recent trip to NYC granted me the opportunity to hereby relinquish New Jersey’s contention in this silly grudge once and for all. WE SUBMIT!!!
I went to a bar in Manhattan where I took the risk of using the men’s room. As my tinkle started to trickle down into the urinal, I noticed a familiar title emblazoned on the brownish yellow urinal screen. I was actually paying attention to the urinal screen, so I figured I HAD to be drunk. But I wasn’t and the urinal screen said VAN WILDER! Van Wilder is one of my favorite movies and I doubted this promotional item was from the original Van Wilder, and my deduction was correct. After a close examination (yes folks, I DID make a closer examination…I may have actually made out with the bacteria, fly infested urinal, but I proved I was right)
The ribbon that used to be underneath the title VAN WILDER has worn off. It used to say The Rise of Taj. Regardless, according to IMDB The Rise of Taj went straight to DVD and was released for a short time theatrically on December 1st, 2006 and the DVD went on sale on March 27th, 2007. If my calculations are correct, promotional items for The Rise of Taj were probably put out at least a month ahead of time. I wonder how much longer they’ll leave this sickeningly old thing in there? I always knew NYC bathrooms were disgusting, but keeping that in the urinal for so long has to be violating some sort of health code.
I bet they have no idea that there’s some guy blogging about their urinal screen. Haha…it’s the little things. Secretly writing about their lack of changing their urinal screen really gives me the jollies for some reason. Probably cause I’m a sick fuck.
Perhaps they’re leaving the screen in there for the novelty factor, like an in-joke in a movie? Though the only people who are getting a little “rise” out of it are the people like me who appreciate obscure pop culture references that would’ve otherwise been lost to the ages. Or they’re just trying to be delightfully tacky. Something tells me that the actual DVD of The Rise of Taj will soon be worth as much as this 2-year old promotional urinal screen. I can see it making the ridiculously huge $5 bargain bins at Wal-Mart! Unless the bar owner can prove Justin Timberlake once pissed on it, I’m pretty sure it’s time to retire the Taj screen. DING, DING, DING!! Can we get Michael Buffer over here? HERE IS YOUR WINNER AND NEW INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION OF SCUZZ: NEW YORK CITY!!!
My recent observations have lead me to deduce that Goose shit looks like a big chunk of wasabi. Only, it doesn’t taste as good.
Also, why is it that while driving 70 or 80 on a road like the parkway or 287 with the windows cracked you can smell all kinds of stuff. You can smell coffee, people cooking, candy, flowers, dog food. It’s amazing. Is someone actually barbecuing in the back of their Toyota Matrix? I guess that’s not uncommon nowadays with all the rides that have been pimped.
I’m thinking The Sexy Armpit will go worldwide if there is a scandal where I get shot in my ass in front of a New York radio station. I doubt it will be hard to arrange. Someone get me Bobby Baccalieri on the phone…