Purple Stuff Podcast Minisode: Monster Golf and Pumpkin Spice Pizza!

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The Purple Stuff Podcast brings you another Halloween minisode! In this episode we recount our failed attempt at procuring some super basic pumpkin spice pizza. Then it was onto MONSTER MINI GOLF! And that was certainly a worthy addition to our Halloween season festivities. Check it out and subscribe on iTunes! Thanks for listening!

The Sexy Armpit Goes to HAUNTED GOLF in Ocean City, NJ!

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Happy Halloween! It’s been a fun season and I’m anxious to do a look back on all the best moments, but first, here’s a video that I’ve been waiting to present to you. It’s our trip to the boardwalk in Ocean City, NJ for HAUNTED GOLF. Along the way we enjoyed the various activities on the boardwalk. Check it out! Please give it a thumbs up if you enjoy it and thank you for watching!

The Monstrous Miniature Glowing Golf Experience in Edison, NJ

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Yup, now you know you’re in New Jersey…
Aside from New Jersey pop culture, there aren’t many things that The Sexy Armpit is an expert at, that is, except playing mini-golf in a black-lit room full of crazy incandescent murals and animatronic monsters. Monster Mini Golf is to thank for bringing us this experience and in this post we will take a look at some of the New Jersey themed murals on the walls in the Edison, NJ location.

Several years ago, when Monster Mini Golf opened in Fairfield, NJ, they were gracious enough to have us out for a round of mini-golf. They also hooked us up with a few passes for a giveaway which was very cool of them.

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Hopewell Valley is a group of communities in Mercer County, NJ

I immediately fell in love with the concept of Monster Mini-Golf, since mini-golf is actually one thing I’m good at and thoroughly enjoy. I despise regular golf, so please don’t invite me on one of your ridiculously expensive “outings.”

As if Monster Mini Golf couldn’t be more up my alley, a few years ago KISS announced a partnership with the company. Located in Las Vegas, KISS Monster Mini Golf is just as awesome as the other locations, but if you’re a KISS fan it’s euphoric. Non-stop KISS music blasts as you make your way through the rounds which include giant KISS boots and a finale involving Gene’s tongue (naturally). KISS memorabilia adorns the walls and there’s even a KISS shop where you can buy all kinds of KISS stuff. I’ve been there twice and I would take up residence there if I could.

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Christie Street in Edison was the first street in the world to use electric light bulbs for illumination

Since Fairfield is a little bit of drive for us, I was excited when Monster Mini Golf announced a couple of new locations close by a few years ago. After visiting the location in Edison, NJ a few times, I must commend the company for the theme running through the murals on the walls.

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Monster Mini Golf pays Thomas Edison a tribute in this mural also featuring George Lucas

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Monster Golf’s murals usually include their original characters, but this time they incorporated a local motif. The Fairfield location had a zombie Bruce Springsteen, but that was nothing compared to the several New Jersey references that appear on the walls in Edison, and if you’re perceptive you’ll certainly notice them.

Most prominently was the fact that the location is in Edison, NJ, a town named for Thomas Edison, “The Wizard of Menlo Park.” The impact of that probably gets lost on the youth of today, but I always find it amazing that one of the most famous inventors of all time and a pioneer of things we use in everyday life is from the local Sexy Armpit Area. People like me, voracious consumers of media, have a lot to thank Thomas Edison for. He’s responsible for the record player, the movie camera, and the practical electric light bulb.

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In addition to Thomas Edison, another notable Edison native, Susan Sarandon, appears in a mural as well. With a mini Frank-n-Furter doll, this art brings to mind Sarandon’s starring role in the Rocky Horror Picture Show, one of my favorite traditions not only during October, but year round. Above catch a glimpse of a green version of October 2010’s Garden State Playmate.

Monster Mini Golf vs. Monster Cable Lawsuit Dropped

Monster Cable, the company that’s quite possibly responsible for manufacturing the HDMI cable running to your flatscreen in your living room, has dropped it’s ridiculous lawsuit against Monster Mini Golf. I had such a fun time at Monster Mini Golf that I uploaded some video I shot when I was there, did a write up, and they sent me some passes for a giveaway here on the Armpit. I know it seems like they’re paying me, but they aren’t!
This was a dispute where Monster Cable felt that the name “Monster Mini Golf” was infringing on their trademark. Check out the Engadget post about it here. What strikes me about this whole dispute is that they never went after Monster Beverages who manufactures energy drinks. Anyone who isn’t high off his ass from a speedball right now can realize that Monster Mini Golf would NEVER be confused with a company that makes super high priced audio/visual cables. Why didn’t they also pick on Monster Ballads while they were at it? For anyone interested, Monster Mini Golf locations can be found all over the country. For a list of them, go here. Meanwhile, if you still have no idea what they are all about, then check out my little Monster montage:

NAME THE SEXY ARMPIT GIRL CONTEST!!!

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The Sexy Armpit’s MONSTROUS HALLOWEEN PRIZE PACK is now up for grabs!!!

This is all you have to do:
1) Help me come up with a NAME for the hot chick on the top left of this screen, you know, the one wearing The Sexy Armpit T-Shirt, the one leaning up against a Turnpike sign covered in sludge, YES that one! I need to come with a name for her. It could be anything from Anastasia to Suzie, or from Margath to Mercedes. If you’re the winner, I can’t say that I will definitely wind up using the name you submit, but it will definitely help narrow my choices! The sexier and skankier, the better!! Remember, this is the type of girl you want to receive a lapdance from. That is…after she cleans off all that Jersey gunk. Or she can keep it on if that’s your bag. I don’t want to read any names like Mary, Kate, or Ashley. Try to give me some that even my outlandish mind wouldn’t think of! If you feel like throwing in some that will make me chuckle, feel free! Have some fun with it! REMEMBER, she’s a Jersey Girl!
2) E-mail your choice/choices to sexyarmpit@comcast.net
3) One winner will be selected and they’ll take home THE SEXY ARMPIT’S MONSTROUS HALLOWEEN PRIZE PACK!!! 
The prize pack consists of:
A Very Limited Edition Sexy Armpit T-Shirt!!! Very few were printed up since I literally had to take out a second mortgage just to pay for them.
TWO (count ’em 2!) FREE PASSES to MONSTER MINI GOLF! The folks at Monster Golf were nice enough to send over some giveaways after they saw my review and You Tube montage that I made! Monster Mini Golf is an indoor glow in the dark 18-hole mini golf course with locations all over the country. The passes are good at all locations.
Jack O’Lantern DVD – The worst movie of all time. Perfect watch with your friends while you’re drinking. DVD is brand new, bought specifically for this contest so some unsuspecting soul could be dragged into the depths of MOVIE HELL just like I was when I watched this piece of crap.

The Sexy Armpit’s Trip to Monster Miniature Golf

As sports go, I’ve never been truly good at any of them. I have my moments in basketball but my talents are better suited for thinking of outlandish ideas and growing slimy Captain America’s in my kitchen.

I always thought I was above “par” at miniature golf, but that one got shot down the other night when The Sexy Armpit took a trip to Monster Mini Golf in Fairfield New Jersey. I discovered this place on a Google search with my boss during lunch at work. We were thinking out loud and wondered if any indoor miniature golf places existed in New Jersey. What if it was raining one night and we just had an urge to go mini golfing? Damn, we’d be shit out of luck! So, as Google always does, it came back with plenty of helpful search results.

To my surprise, one of the results lead to Monster Mini Golf which looked awesome. I couldn’t believe I never heard of it before. Apparently it’s a chain across the country. Monster Mini Golf is basically the miniature golf version of a dark ride. I don’t see how anyone could not think that is one of the coolest things ever invented. It’s right up there with the advent of Peanut Butter and Jelly.

Not enough places take the time and effort into making their establishment original. Remember the quirky places you loved as a kid? Between the Showbiz Pizza places and Razmatazz, they all had charm. After a while there wasn’t one place that was brave enough to stand out. What happened to the “show,” and the “spectacle?” I think all people, especially kids need to escape the real world and be reminded that life is fun, not all business. I love the over the top animatronics and spooky displays that you see in dark rides and in amusement parks. It’s a mystery to me how we don’t have a place inspired by Magic Kingdom in the tri-state area. Besides Great Adventure, Sesame Place, and Chuck E. Cheese there’s nowhere to bring your kids for a fun time. Until now.

Finally there’s a place that reminds me of the type of place I loved to go to as a kid. Monster Mini Golf is the kind of place that makes a kid’s jaw hang open in awe for a while. I’ve posted a few pictures of some of the phantasmic displays you’ll see as you’re trying to put the ball in the hole in under 5 attempts. (Something I occasionally had difficulty with.) I’m usually easily amused by glow in the dark stuff and blacklights, so perhaps I was distracted?

When you’re finished with the game you can head over to the game room and play some air hockey, shoot hoops, and even get a taste of the boardwalk with some ski-ball. All the games will spit out some tickets that you can cash in for some creepy little monster toys. We all opted for the Goblin rings. We were a few points shy, but the the guy at the desk was nice enough to give us all rings anyway.

This trip was a lot of fun and if you live far from Fairfield, N.J, I recommend you plan a little trip to Route 46. You won’t be disappointed, and afterward there’s no shortage of restaurants and malls in the surrounding area. Go with a group or bring your kids and you’re sure to have a good time without spending a lot of money. If you’re apprehensive to take a far ride, then at the very least you should plan to go before Halloween. It’s one of those places that definitely has personality, and I commend the owners for being brave enough to open one in New Jersey and for having such a courteous, helpful staff.

Also, you may want to stop by Jose Tejas after the big game for some Tejas Chicken. They are the best Tex-Mex restaurant in existence and it’s authentic atmosphere will make you feel like you’re in From Dusk Til’ Dawn or something. Ever wonder about the “meat on a stick” conversation in There’s Something About Mary? Well, Jose Tejas listened and created boneless chicken on a stick with a semi-hot buffalo type sauce. After a knock down, drag out game of Monster mini-golf, they were a perfect way to end the night.
With my silly little Sony Cybershot camera I took some video and edited it up real nice for you! Take a look and leave a comment if you enjoy it! Perhaps next time I’ll take a crack at Women’s Beach Volleyball?