AC Boardwalk Con Is Coming May 14th – 17th!

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Get Your Tickets at DOACBC.COM and USE DISCOUNT CODE “BLOG10” to receive 10% off your ticket purchase, courtesy of AC Boardwalk Con and The Sexy Armpit!

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Geek conventions and casinos have something in common. Think about it, aside from a few exceptions, for many years there were two main spots in the country to gamble in a casino, Atlantic City and Las Vegas. It was much the same with comic conventions. The official Comic Cons always happened in San Diego and New York City. No longer do we have to deal with only two major cons. Nowadays, comic and pop culture conventions are happening constantly all over the country.

Promoters have been capitalizing on the demand for cons and we have more events to choose from than ever before, especially here in New Jersey. One that I have been waiting patiently for the last couple of years for is the Atlantic City Boardwalk Con, a.k.a ACBC. The announcement for this huge event came quite a while ago and it’s finally upon us. In merely a couple of weeks (May 14th – 17th 2015) you can be a part of their inaugural event in Atlantic City, NJ.

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New Jersey has a few comic conventions throughout the year, but none seem to be on the same level as this one. ACBC’s organizers have spared no expense to hit the ground running. Although it’s the first ACBC, it has the epic feel of a con that’s been around for a decade. Celebrity guests, collectibles, concerts, events, contests, film fests, and an after hours party will comprise this jam-packed geekgasm of a weekend.

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This is a chance to hobnob with comic book artists and creators as well as check out some Q&As, workshops, take part in masquerades, and snap your cosplay photos at some awesome backdrops. There will also be the cosplay competition and crowning of Mr. and Miss Cosplay Atlantic City, a Warriors Reunion, and a Film and TV auto exhibit.
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I’ve always been a huge fan of events that take place in Atlantic City because there’s always stuff to do when the con ends for the night. Plus, it’s so much easier to make a weekend of it all and give it that “mini-vacation” vibe. The weather is warm, the beach is next door, the boardwalk is always filled with stuff to do, and you’ll no doubt want to try your luck at a table game or a slot machine while you’re in AC, because what’s the sense of being in AC if you don’t gamble away your life savings and fall deeper in hate with yourself in the process? But do that AFTER you head to ACBC because you may want an autograph from Thea Queen from Arrow first. Just looking out for ya!

From the looks of the website, this con is shaping up to be the real deal. It would truly be a feat to see ACBC succeed in such a big way that it cements it’s place amongst the major players of the convention scene. It’s looking promising, and New Jersey may finally have it’s official comic-con.

Celebrities Appearing for Autographs and Photo Ops Include:
Stan Lee, Kevin Smith, Adam West, Burt Ward, Julie Newmar, Danielle Panabaker, Tom Cavanaugh, Willa Holland, William Shatner, Brian Tee, Bryan Johnson, Drew Powell, Charles Fleischer, Elizabeth Lail, Garett Wang, Georgina Haig, Jason Mewes, Jeremy Shada, Jess Harnell, Michael Rooker, Manu Bennett, Rob Paulsen, The cast of The Warriors, Tress Macneille and a host of others!

Bands Performing: September Mourning, New Politics, and Make Out Monday

Atlantic City Convention Center
1 Convention Boulevard
Atlantic City, NJ 08401

From Mallrats to Miracle World: Monster Mania Adventure Part 3

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Enhancing the ambiance of our departure from Monster Mania was the gray skies, rain, and my fogged up windshield. I couldn’t have asked for a more picturesque day. The sun is nice once in a while, but for this type of weekend, I prefer it to be a horror movie outside. If you’ve been reading along you know there’s a few more stops to make before heading home. Where we’re going we don’t need Google Maps…actually, wait, yes we do. Shit, why did you throw the GPS out the window? Pull over.

It may sound pretty generic, but my first stop was the Cherry Hill Mall. The mall was only a few minutes from Monster Mania so it would’ve been a crime not to stop there. Shannon from Mallrats ™ wouldn’t have any reason to criticize me because I actually did have a very specific shopping agenda. I wasn’t going to buy men’s slacks, nor was I looking to get some junk jewelry and scrunchies from Easy Pickins. Nope, I was there for refreshment of the liquid type. Matt and Ms. X had no clue what the hell I was up to.

I must’ve driven around the entire mall 12 times before I finally settled on a entrance tucked away in a corner. Naturally, this entrance couldn’t have been further from our eventual destination within this “monument of consumerism” (Mallrats ™.) I can’t help myself with the Mallrats references, I’m already getting excited for the sequel.

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For the last several months, I’d been overcome with an insane craving for an Orange Julius. The problem was that there’s no Orange Julius places near me. There’s a Dairy Queen nearby, the company that owns them now, but I really wanted an Orange Julius from a standalone Orange Julius store, is that too much to ask? Getting an Orange Julius from a shop that’s solely a Dairy Queen is like getting a Dole Whip any place that’s not Disney World.

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The mall by me had and Orange Julius for as long as I can remember, but it closed down several years back and millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror. This was devastating and I haven’t been able to indulge in one in a long time. I remember my mallrat days and there wasn’t a mall visit that went by when I didn’t have either an Orange Julius or an ICEE in hand.

Man, things have changed. It seems like all the good shit has to be 5 thousand miles away nowadays (we took quite a trip just to get Ghostbusters donuts the morning they came out), so incorporating the satisfaction of my craving into the MM weekend worked like a charm. And now, behold, the greatest photo you will ever see of an Orange Julius sitting on top of a trash receptacle in Cherry Hill Mall. Its a very specific genre of avant garde photography. I’m presently teaching a lab course on this at The Learning Annex.

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After my tastebuds took part in a delightfully euphoric makeout sesh with that creamy orange goodness, it was onto the next stop, all while obnoxiously sipping an empty cup thinking some extra Julius would magically get sucked up through the straw. It wouldn’t be right if we didn’t make our way to at least one flea market on this trip. After the sad news about The Columbus Flea Market, which we visited last time, I felt that we should drop into another popular Jersey flea market.

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I wonder if Ivannah with the 3rd nipple was doing the psychic readings in that room back there?

Surprisingly, I’ve lived in New Jersey my entire life and had never been to the Collingwood flea market. History was about to change. With the rain, we didn’t get to experience the outdoor vendors, although the inside had old school superhero murals on the wall that had clearly been neglected and covered up over the years. They might have been the most intriguing thing about this place for me.

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We also stopped into a comic shop within the market which sort of reminded me of the vibe of a comic store I used to go to at the old US1 Flea Market.

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From what I saw, the Collingwood market isn’t as eclectic as Englishtown, nor as amazing as Columbus was, yet still a worthwhile stop if you happen to be in the area. #Undertak

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Have you had enough? You can’t tap out just yet, there’s one more detour to make before we get home: Zapp Comics in Manalapan. This was my first time at this shop and it was awesome to see that they offered such a wide selection of new comics, back issues, action figures and collectibles. It’s where Matt picked up Odious Ogre from Dungeons and Dragons. There’s something awesome about a store who has tons of used action figures in plastic Ziploc bags neatly stocking the pegs. Makes them feel brand new, even though they are not MOC or MIP. They are OPP, but not BBD.

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After all this blousing, I mean browsing, we were starving. Turns out that an Orange Julius won’t carry you through all day, so it was time to eat.

But, hell, why not cram in one more thing before we finally shoved food in our bellies. It was my birthday a few days prior and I still had a present to open from Matt. I may have been secretly waiting to open it to extend my birthday weekend that much longer. It wouldn’t be a gift from Dinosaur Dracula unless it was awesomely nostalgic and this took me back to when I was a kid playing Sega Master System on my mini wooden rocking chair.

 photo AlexKiddInMiracleWorldBx_zps3ybwq1pe.jpgBehold, ALEX KIDD in Miracle World. One of my favorite Master System games of all time and Sega’s answer to Super Mario well before Sonic the Hedgehog became synonymous with Sega. Thanks to Matt for the trip down memory lane. Once I’m through posting this I’m going to punch the shit out of rocks with my hysterically giant fist.

Eventually, we decided to eat at a Mexican place called Salsarita’s in Old Bridge. At the time, I had no idea that this was a huge chain. Ordinarily, I make every effort to go to Mom and Pop restaurants because they are usually the hidden gems, but it didn’t matter because I inhaled the food anyway. We were only halfway through our meals and it looked like someone bombed our table with exploding tacos, rice and beans and salsa and chips. It was delicious. The food at this place edges out Chipotle and they also get points for embracing the Mexican cantina atmosphere in contrast with the very basic look of the interior of Chipotle. If you’d like to discuss this in more detail, pick up my new informational pamphlet all about my thoughts on Interior Design in fresh Mexican food chains, it’s called LET’S TALK ABOUT MEX BABY!
You’ve finally made it to the end of our Monster Mania extravaganza. It was quite an elongated account of what really only amounted to the span of Friday night into Saturday afternoon, but reliving it through this post extended the fun even more! Thanks for reading.

A Clerks Dark Ride? A Bit of Disney In Leonardo, NJ

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In the first episode of the Clerks; The Animated Series titled “Leonardo Leonardo Returns and Dante Has an Important Decision To Make,” Billionaire Leonardo Leonardo makes his triumphant return to Leonardo, NJ and unveils his giant monument of consumerism, Leonardo Tower. Naturally, Jason Mewes thought the tower looked “like a big bong.”

L.L’s new tower is all part of his diabolical plan to turn the town of Leonardo into a “doomed pleasure resort town where the people of Leonardo will work underground as mindless slave drones and live off the crumbs of the rich…”

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He strategically erected his new store the QuickER Stop right across the street from the real Quick Stop, nearly putting Dante and Randal’s livelihood in jeopardy. The original Quick Stop is about to go out of business, but fortunately, something good did come out of all this: Dante and Randal get the chance to go on a cool “dark ride” style tour of the new QuickER Stop.

As an homage to one of my favorite places on earth, Disney’s Haunted Mansion, Dante and Randal hop into a revolving Doom Buggy outfitted with a speaker to hear Leonardo’s braggadocios voice-guided tour. When the ride comes to the end, a ghostly greenish-blue apparition of Leonardo Leonardo appears in between Dante and Randal in their Doom Buggy!

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After the tour of the QuickER Stop, the guys attempt to foil Leonardo’s master plan. On the way, they bat-climb up the Leonardo Tower only to encounter two doorways. One is a your average completely regular doorway while the other is the MAZE OF DEATH! Out of two options, the marginally intelligent clerks chose the MAZE OF DEATH! Mwahahahaaaa!

Dawn of the Mallrats and Zombie Clerks

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“Dawn of the Mallrats” by Chris Ott
“You’re dead Mallrat” isn’t just a line in the movie anymore.
Nowadays it seems like everybody wants to be a zombie, walk like a zombie in a parade, or make zombie parody art, which leads us to today’s entry.
When checking out the London 1888 online store after picking up one of their shirts over the weekend at Monster Mania, I also noticed artist Chris Ott’s love for Kevin Smith.
“Dawn of the Mallrats” is a faithful mash-up print of Dawn of the Dead and Mallrats. The connection here, of course, is that monument of consumerism, a mall, actually, let me rephrase that – THEE MALL.
When it was released in theaters in ’95, Mallrats was my ultimate movie. You could imagine how a Jersey teenager who spent a lot of time at the mall, loved Clerks, and wanted to be a filmmaker like Kevin Smith, would latch on to a film like Mallrats so hard, especially considering that I lived about a thousand feet from two of the most popular malls in the state. One of which just happens to be the mall that has a truly convincing Easter Bunny.
In the artwork Brody and TS haven’t been inflicted yet, but we see that Jay and Silent Bob, Shannon, Gwen, William, that d-bag Mr. Svenning, and even Stan Lee are all full fledged undead. Even with just a quick glance you can see that Ott really paid attention to details. Clearly, William’s eye bugged out, quite possibly from staring at the magic eye picture of that sailboat too long…or was it a schooner?
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Christ Ott’s Zombie Clerks print: http://london1888.bigcartel.com/product/clerks
 
Also check out Chris Ott’s zombified Clerks print. The gang is all here out in front of the Quick Stop in Leonardo, NJ! Awesome stuff Chris!

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 104: Fatman on Batman

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What’s the difference between a Podcast and a Smodcast? There’s one big difference – a Smodcast is featured on NJ icon Kevin Smith’s network of podcasts available on iTunes. One of them happens to be about one of my favorite subjects in the whole world.

You can hear Smith and a Batman related guest discuss all things Caped Crusader on Fatman on Batman. It’s incredibly satisfying to be able to listen to a podcast all about the nuances of my favorite hero hosted by a reputable source such as Jersey’s own Kevin Smith.

Adam West, Arleen Sorkin, and Kevin Conroy have all been guests on the show. I’ve listened to all the episodes so far and the best guest was Mark Hamill. Hamill has been the voice of the Joker since Batman: The Animated Series, and there’s no one more associated with the character than Hamill. This 2-parter was fascinating and if you’re interested in sampling this podcast – I suggest downloading this episode! Smith delves into all kinds of bat-details, so it’s perfect for Batman and Kevin Smith fans alike.

Before and After: Silent Bob The Goon

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Technically Bob The Goon came way before Silent Bob, so that rejected Wheel of Fortune clue doesn’t really work. But it is true that there is a connection between these two beloved Bobs – and it’s more than just their names!

Bob The Goon is a character created for the 1989 Batman movie. Played by Jersey City’s own Tracey Walter (who has appeared in TONS of films and TV shows), Bob The Goon was The Joker’s main lackey. Putting it more simply, he was Joker’s NUMBER ONE GUY!!!

5 years after Batman, in 1994, Kevin Smith’s alter ego Silent Bob debuted in his own film Clerks. Silent Bob is the quiet, chilled out partner of his friend stoner friend Jay (Jason Mewes) and they later go onto several more cinematic adventures together.

As recently revealed by Kevin Smith on his Fatman on Batman Podcast, Bob The Goon was actually an inspiration for Smith in creating the Silent Bob character. Episode #8 (available on iTunes) is all about The Dark Knight Rises and like all the rest of the episodes – it’s totally FREE! You can’t beat that, thanks Kevin!

It’s pretty awesome that we New Jersey fanboys can be proud that not only Kevin Smith is a local icon,  but Bob the Goon is as well. Read more about Joker’s #1 guy in this post.

Jay and Silent Bob Get Old at NYCC!

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East coasters, especially those from Jersey, will be excited to know that Kevin Smith and Jason Mewes will be presenting their live podcast Jay and Silent Bob Get Old at New York Comic Con this year. The Sexy Armpit will definitely be at Comic Con, but I’m not sure if I want to battle the crowds for that one. It’s cool to see our favorite stoners from Jersey appearing to beef up the star power. I’m sure there will be plenty more announcements of celebs and fanboy icons signing on in the coming weeks. Keep up on the latest news at the official NYCC website: http://www.newyorkcomiccon.com/

Preparing to SCREAM Some More…

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After reading a post by Johnny over at one of my favorite horror blogs, Freddy in Space, I thought I should get a SCREAM-themed post together as well. My tickets for Scream 4 have been purchased and I don’t think I’ve been this excited for a theatrical horror release since Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows came out. That one let most of you down, but not me, I loved it. BW2 aside, now it’s Scream time!

Two things about Scream 4 are gripping my attention. Foremost, I’m looking forward to seeing the new cast members as well as some familiar faces. Some of my favorites have been cast in the film including Kristen Bell, Marley Shelton, Aimee Teegarden, Adam Brody, and Heather Graham.

It will also be interesting to see if Wes Craven can rebound from My Soul To Take. I realize a lot of horror fans out there enjoyed it, but I wound up bored out of my skull. I never thought I’d be scanning through a Wes Craven horror film. Shit, I’ve sat through all of Wes Craven’s movies, even the ones he merely “presented.” Wes deserves to have another true classic for the new generation of horror, so please let it be Scream 4!

Although I’m hoping Scream 4 will be a triumphant culmination of the series, even if it tanks at the box office it’s sure to yield more installments in the future. And why shouldn’t the Scream franchise continue on? All the great horror franchises keep evolving. They’ll probably go on forever, long after The Sexy Armpit has disappeared from the net, only to be found via a wayback machine. The original Scream was released in 1996, so the Scream Team has had a hell of enough time to perfect its formula. Who knows, maybe Scream 4 could even surpass the original?

Are you going to see Scream 4? If so, let us get you geared up for the film, with two classic Scream posts:

All about the night of Scream 2’s premiere. I dressed up as Ghostface when 
I worked at Loew’s Menlo Park Cinemas.
One of the best cameos in the Scream series!

Mallrats Wedding Proposal

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Mallrats (1995)

It’s not blasphemous that I like Mallrats more than Clerks. I draw a lot of heat for that amongst friends and Kevin Smith fans. Ever since I first saw Mallrats at the local theater I connected with it more than Clerks. Possibly because it’s a bigger, more comical film and it featured many elements that had already become Smith’s calling card. Most of all, it hits home because we have so many malls in New Jersey and when you’re young and a comic book reading movie geek who’s done reading that week’s comics and brought all his videos back, there’s not much to do besides go and walk around the mall. Personally, I grew up sandwiched in between 2 of the most notorious “monuments to consumerism” as Brodie (Jason Lee) refers to them.

In the scene pictured above, TS relays to his comic hoarding friend Brodie that if his trip to Florida with his girlfriend Brandi didn’t get squashed, he was planning on proposing to her.

TS: “I was gonna propose to her.”
BRODIE: “Where?”
TS: “On the Universal tour.”
BRODIE: “You’re kidding, what part?”
TS: “When Jaws pops out of the water”
BRODIE: “That’s the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard”
TS: “Yeah, well too bad I’m not trying to marry you.”

I wonder how many people actually proposed on the Jaws ride in honor of that quote? I wouldn’t be surprised if tons of lightbulbs simultaneously went off in many hardcore Kevin Smith fans’ heads when they heard that one, as they turned and gazed diabolically at their significant others. To take it to the next level, I bet there are even fans out there who got engaged as they visited the Easter Bunny at the Menlo Park Mall, ya know, cause the US1 Flea Market closed ages ago.

Anyone have a good proposal story inspired by a Kevin Smith film? Ha! Hey, it doesn’t hurt to ask!

Sprung Through Cages Out On Highway 9

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Bruce Springsteen didn’t just pull a random New Jersey road out of the back pocket of his jeans to name drop in “Born to Run.” Much like the escalator in Kevin Smith’s Mallrats, Route 9 should be feared and respected. Not only is the road filled with potholes in many stretches of it’s Garden State sprawl, but it’s also known for it’s fast, furious, and f-cked up drivers. If you have the choice, you’re better off staying away and re-routing your GPS. And whatever you do, don’t walk on the side of the highway, or as Dr. Evazan said in the cantina scene in Star Wars… “You’ll be DEAD!” Or to one up myself…as Admiral Bruce Ackbarsteen said “It’s a DEATH TRAP!”

This article from Jackson NJ Online News featured a report on New Jersey’s Most Dangerous Roads for Pedestrians. If you live in Jersey, reading this information is vital to your survival! Route 9 comes in at number 2 on the list, but then again, Bruce Springsteen didn’t mention US-130 in one of his immortal songs now did he?