GREAT GEEK GORGE #8: Eating Katy Perry, Chiller Theatre, and 12″ Action Dolls!

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Welcome to the long winded 8th edition of Great Geek Gorge. This where I spew about some of the crap I bought or consumed recently and throw it all into one very random post. Today we’ll look at a new snack, some giant action figures, and some hot zombie mermaids.
 
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Katy Perry’s Kettle Corn Pop Chips
The thought of eating Katy Perry’s…chips…appeals to me. Like many of you, I also easily fall prey to product tie-ins. If Katy Perry was on the carton of Eggland’s Best, or growing her own line of organic watermelons (Katy’s watermelon’s…), or even a Campbell’s soup tie-in (Katy’s Clam Chowder), I’d be on line at the store as soon as they are released. You can see how it makes food more appealing. When I was a kid and went grocery shopping with my mom, anytime I saw Batman or Superman on the label of a peanut butter container, I nearly went into convulsions. Had to have it. Not much has changed.
Normally, I enjoy Pop Chips. They are a lighter alternative to other types of chips, but I can’t say I buy them often though because they seem pricey for a bag filled with air and just a few chips at the bottom. Hands down my favorite flavor is Barbecue – I could polish off a regular sized bag in no time. So when I saw a display of Katy Perry in Quick Check advertising her new Pop Chips flavor, it was obvious I went into my usual “buy two” mode. After tasting them I was disappointed that the Kettle Corn flavor wasn’t prominent enough. I don’t know if that means they weren’t sweet enough or what, but I will tell you that I don’t think it was necessary to make chips in the flavor of kettle corn when you can just buy a bag of actual kettle corn and bypass any possible disappointment. It’s like ordering steak-flavored chicken at a steakhouse. Katy should’ve just created her own candy line instead.
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Chiller Theater Expo – April 26th, 2013
 
Usually I find a few cool things at the Chiller Theater Expo here in N.J to share with you and the Spring 2013 installment yielded a couple of worthy items. A few weeks back, the pop culture and toy convention took over the castle themed Sheraton in Parsippany, NJ. Sure, the guest signings are great, but my favorite part is always the dealer rooms. Even though the rooms get a bit cramped, they are chock full of stuff that you can’t find anywhere else.

First I ran into my buddy Jessica Rajs from Gorgeous and Gory. Each year, Jess and her crew create a fantastic calendar featuring zombified pinup models. This year’s theme is mermaids. The photography and effects are incredible and the makeup is superb, so head over to Gorgeous and Gory to get one for yourself!

Cookie’s art. kicks. ass. Cookie’s own brand of art is inspired by punk rock and horror and is aptly named Rock and Roll Art School. I wasn’t familiar with Cookie before the last Chiller, but that’s the beauty of the event. I was walking around the dealer room and anytime I see neon colors or Lily Munster I stop right in my tracks. I’m easily distracted so this brightly colored painting of Lily was screaming for me to buy it, and I replied out loud immediately, “You don’t have to scream at me neaon Lily, you had me at “Ohhh Herman.” Check out Cookie’s collection of vibrant monster and tattoo art for sale at his Etsy shop! http://www.etsy.com/shop/RockNRollArtSchool
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WB Store 12″ DC Super Heroes Batman Figure – now with BONUS extraneous backstory!

Lately I’ve been on a kick of larger sized action figures – which are actually more like dolls. Obviously many male collectors don’t want to admit that they own dolls, and I will only admit it if it seriously reminds me of a freaking doll. If it’s 6″ inches tall or smaller and is made of plastic, it’s an action figure. Any bigger than that then the figure/doll war rages on.
Growing up, I had no use for any figure larger than my Kenner Super Powers or Star Wars figures. They were perfectly sized and very easy to collect. I came to the party a little late for the ’70s Mego phase, so the larger sized action-doll type figures (satisfying everyone, see?) with changeable clothes never appealed to me, and they really still don’t. I’m talking about these 12″-14″ monstrous sized plastic and vinyl figures. I always used to wonder why these giant collectibles were even getting made and I also wondered who was actually buying them since they seemed to sit on the shelves forever when I was a kid. For some reason though, within the past year or so, I’ve been having these urges to own several key figures of this size. If you ask me what my inspiration is, I can’t even tell you because I have absolutely no clue what brought this on. I only recently found out about the re-release of the 12″ Star Wars figures, but I am not going to let myself fall into that Sarlaac Pit of collecting. Maybe the culprit was when I picked up those 10″ Dark Knight Rises Batman and Bane figures? Now just stop it Jay. We can’t keep this going or I’m going to have to buy another place just for my toys.
Let me take you back to when I could care less about figures of this size. When the mall was the place to be, before eBay and Amazon became one of my favorite past times, I actually used to go to the mall with my friends. Yes, we physically ventured out of the house and into a place where you could put one foot in front of the other and transport yourself from store to store. Novel idea right? Many times we walked to the two nearby malls, (ahh we used to have so much ambition, right?) other times we got dropped off by our parents. Much like Shannon in Mallrats, I too used to have a shopping agenda, and much like Brody in Mallrats, I was there for comics.

The two malls in my vicinity no longer even have comic book shops, but back in the day there were a couple that I frequented like Heroes World and Comic Attitudes, among others. In addition to the comic shops, I always had to stop at music stores like Record Town and Sam Goody, and eventually I’d start browsing videos at Suncoast Motion Picture Company. There was also the Warner Brothers Studio Store which usually came through with some cool DC Super Hero swag that you couldn’t find anywhere else.

That was a long journey just to tell you that I found a badass black 12″ Batman figure at Chiller. This particular figure/doll is one I hadn’t seen since my days of actually walking around the mall. I was able to knock the price down enough and brought it home. I felt like this was a good score since this specific line is pretty scarce, even on eBay. And now I find myself on a quest for a few of his peeps so he has someone to hang out with. The funny part about this line of DC Superheroes is that when they were on the shelves it was like they didn’t exist to me. I hated every aspect of oversized figures. Now, I’m obsessed with the idea. Funny how things change in some respects, but I’m still such an easy target for slapping Katy Perry on a bag of chips as if I was a 7 year old girl.

A Theme: What I Want For Christmas

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Stealing from a couple of classic Christmas movies and songs, there are a few ways I can start this. Mrs. Shields wanted us to write a theme so here goes or if anyone wants any last minute gift ideas for me, (that means YOU Cousin Eddie) and there’s also the Tenacious D/Sum 41 song “Hey now Santa I’m writing to you cause there’s a lot of cool shit I want…” Either way, like Bob & Doug said, “There’s lots of ideas in here, so listen and don’t get stuck”:

Dear Santa,


These are just a few of the things I want. I know I can’t have them all, but if I don’t write them down I might forget. Would you mind keeping these on file for next year in case you can’t make one or two of them happen? Thank you, and you can be sure we’ll leave some good shit for you in case you have the munchies.


Sincerely,


The Sexy Armpit

1) The He-Man Power Sword – offered by Toonseum and Filmation, it was the actual sword He-Man used on the float at the 1986 Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.

2) A flyby from TokiDoki Tattoo Barbie in her Barbie Glamour Jet – Please instruct her to blow me a kiss before she drops a huge shipment of Margaritaville Salsa.

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3) Rhonda Shear and Up All Night is making a comeback – you can check that one off the list

4) Force Chris Collinsworth into retirement from sportscasting

5) Convince Hef to Let The Sexy Armpit Re-Open The Great Gorge Playboy Club in NJ
In this Christmas wish the old Playboy Club in New Jersey is back in action, and it’s rocking better than ever. Hugh personally tapped me to be in charge of it. On one cold Friday night I’m chilling in a hot tub sipping Bubble Gum flavored Kool Aid that Amber Heard served to me in her bunny outfit. To my right is Katy Perry in Rainbow Brite getup. The Bella Twins are laying behind me sprawled out on the deck whispering cute little flirtations into my ear and giggling while sipping a moderately priced champagne. To the left of me is my pal Larry Dallas who’s cracking me up while his on again off again lady friend Princess Giselle looks on with a smile in awe. Providing tunes up on the nearby stage is none other than Prince who just invited Meatwad to join him for a duet of “Little Red Corvette.”

Louis Tully stands by in pajamas with feet and his earmuffs on grasping his canon and saturating us with pink mood slime. Seconds later the record scratches as the maniacal Purple Pie Man crashes the party. We thought he was going to wreak havoc, but he just had a huge blowout with Sour Grapes and wanted to come see if Raspberry Tart and her pet monkey wanted to get into some late night mischief. After some mind altering experiences we take the Batplane to Houlihans and enjoy a shitlaod of their delectable So. Cal Fish Tacos. I can’t stay out too late though because I have a mini-golf outing planned the next morning with Doyle Wolfgang Von Frankenstein. I need to be on point because he’s a bad ass on the course.

6) CGI Danny Devito as a normal Penguin into Batman Returns
I tend to watch Batman Returns during Christmas time and as much as I love Tim Burton I always feel like it needs a lot of improvement. What I’d really love to see with modern computer technology is a revamped version that makes it more of a traditional Batman film. One of the making of documentaries explained that Burton was hesitant to do a sequel to Batman but was coerced into it when the WB big-wigs said he could “make it a Tim Burton movie.” That’s what makes Batman Returns so different than Batman. There would be more of a connection to the first movie if it wasn’t so warped. Penguin never had flippers for hands or ate raw fish right out of it’s scaly body. He was a little rich pipsqueak. There’s a lot of haters of the ’60s Batman show, but Burgess Meredith really nailed the original vision of The Penguin. I know that Burton’s freakish take on The Penguin was just an alternate way to see the character, but I think making DeVito’s Penguin more like the Batman Returns figure that was released by Kenner would’ve made a better Bat-film.

7) Goldust vs. Cody Rhodes

Sure I’d love to see Stone Cold or Jericho come back to fight CM Punk, but there’s also lots of talk on Twitter trying to gear up for this family feud. I’m instigating it as well. I was never really a fan of Dustin until he premiered the character Goldust in WWE in 1995. I immediately became obsessed with his bizarre ways. I went so far as to dress up as him for our backyard wrestling events, face paint and all. I creeped out all my friends. My first ever AOL screen name was even Goldust1. To see him make a comeback against his brother Cody would be awesome, especially with that kickass classic white Intercontinental title on the line! Make it happen WWE!

Blue Jersey and Boardwalk Ice Cream Sundaes

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From The Ice Cream Bar at the Taj Mahal in Atlantic City
The above sundaes are offered at the new Ice Cream Bar at Taj Mahal in Atlantic City. Blue Jersey is inspired by the fact that Jersey is known for its blueberries, but there’s just too damn many blueberry things involved in that sundae. You have to be an absolute blueberry freak to order that. The second one is The Boardwalk sundae which sounds way too sweet to me but would probably appeal to a tween who is obsessed with Katy Perry. Being that it’s inspired by the boardwalk they forgot to throw in muffin tops, fried Oreos, and drizzle on some Ron Ron juice. 
I’m not trying to say I’m Martha Stewart or Good Housekeeping or anything, but one of the most fun things as a kid was when my parents let us make our own sundaes at home. On rare occasions my parents set my sister and I up with all the toppings on the kitchen table and let us go to town making our own ice cream monstrosities. Mine was usually more gross and ridiculous than my sisters was, and I never wound up finishing it, but the fun was in the process. My sisters was always logical and neat while mine was just a mess of everything available and it looked like something Scooby and Shaggy would devour after they inadvertently solved a mystery. This makes me wonder, what would be your perfect custom made ice cream sundae?

The Lone Ranger, Tonto, and Katy Perry Walk Into a Bar on Halloween 2010…

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The Lone Ranger (The Sexy Armpit) and Katy Perry (Miss Sexy Armpit)

I always need inspiration to dress up for Halloween. Playing a character makes me feel like a kid for a whole night, but I require some sort of revelation every year to generate my interest. It takes motivation to create a good costume so I need some sort of spark. If I don’t experience that I won’t be very enthusiastic and I refuse to settle for any old costume off a rack. Mind you, I don’t go crazy insane with my costumes like multiple time costume contest winner Rollie over at Beauty and the Robeast, but I always have fun with it. In the past 10 years or so I’ve gone with a rock star motif and dressed up as Billy Idol, Nikki Sixx of Motley Crue, Gene Simmons (Dressed to Kill style), and Billie Joe from Green Day. Last year I began with a pop culture theme when I was Macho Man Randy Savage circa 1985 during his Intercontinental Championship reign and my girlfriend was Miss Elizabeth. This year, I channeled another childhood hero of mine, one who doesn’t carry Slim Jims, but silver bullets.

Lone Ranger and Tonto Costumes
Tonto (Nick, Armpit’s cousin) and The Lone Ranger

This year I was inspired by Dynamite Comics’ Lone Ranger series. Ever since my Dad introduced me to the Lone Ranger radio show as a kid, I’ve always loved the character. I grew up collecting the paltry amount of LR collectibles that existed and watching DVD’s of the TV series. I had a feeling that the edgier style of The Lone Ranger’s costume in the latest comic book series, would translate well to a Halloween costume. It felt cool to be a classic character with a modern upgrade. Plus, I didn’t think there would be tons of dudes clamoring for a Lone Ranger costume, not as much as say…The Situation’s fake ab pad.
I began the project early in September and noticed that it would be more of a challenge than I thought. All the pre-made Lone Ranger costumes available online were super cheesy. The shiny blue shirt included was made of rayon and is a few letters short of saying “Hi My Name is The Lone Ranger,” on a name tag on the left side. It came with a terribly cheap and disheveled looking cowboy hat, but that wasn’t all! On the back of the shirt there was a full back graphic of The Lone Ranger riding Silver branded with The Lone Ranger logo. I honestly don’t think The Lone Ranger is so self absorbed that he would wear a shirt with a huge graphic of himself on the back of it, let alone one made of cheap polyester. Obviously, I stayed far away from this $40 dollar piece of crap and put it together on my own.

The Sexy Armpit's Lone Ranger Costume

Finding a reasonable cowboy hat required some digging. Some cowboy hats that claim to be replicas of the one that Clayton Moore used in The Lone Ranger TV series go for upwards of $400 bucks! Screw that! I got mine for less than $40 bucks from an online costume shop and it looked damn good. It was a little tall on top, but it did the job. Don’t be fooled by cheap $5 dollar “cowboy” hats like this one, they suck, so don’t waste your money.
One modernization that you’ll see in the pages of the Dynamite Comics is that The Lone Ranger no longer wears blue pants to match his shirt, but leather pants depending on who does the art/ink in the book. The black leather pants I used when I dressed up as Nikki Sixx years ago came in handy for this. I then found a bandit mask, and a gun holster with a belt on a costume website, two silver toy guns with off white handles, a red bandanna, and bullet belts all on Amazon. The boots are actually motorcycle boots, but look very similar to the ones LR wears in a few of the comic books. I purchased them from Leather Up.
Most importantly was my shirt. I was very particular about this because I refused to walk around in a shirt that did not look similar to how it looked in the comic I was basing it off of. After several days of searching, I finally found Delilah’s Keepe, a website who customized a Lone Ranger style shirt for me! They were great to deal with and the shirt looked absolutely perfect, so keep them in mind if you ever need a shirt for a costume: www.delilahskeepe.com.

Katy Perry Halloween Costume
Winning The Sexy Armpit’s Halloween Costume Contest this year by a mile was Miss Sexy Armpit who probably put more time and effort into her costume than I did since she had to make the entire thing herself! She made the candy button dress and bracelets, cut and styled the wig, and found comparable shoes. I also took a screen shot of Katy Perry’s makeup from the exact moment in the “California Gurls” video that she wears this getup. From there she took the picture with her to get her makeup done. The “Jersey Gurl” was carrying around an Elmo doll all night which everyone got a big kick out of as well.
All the costumes were worth the effort when seeing how awesome they looked and I’m already devising plans for next year! I can’t wait!