“Temptation Is a Part of Life…” and It Made Me Buy Pebbles Boulders

PhotobucketTasty cereal is like a great song. It can be enjoyed again and again. Although, just recently, a great song came to mind after eating an atrocious cereal. In the 1991 dance pop song “Temptation,” Corina sang the lyrics “Temptation is a part of life, it doesn’t matter if it’s wrong or right.” Back then its classic club beats brought many people onto dance floors, but if there was a dance club in my mouth, Pebbles Boulders turned my taste buds into wallflowers.

In the summer, on my friend Greg’s site Half Assed Productions, I saw that Fruity Pebbles released yet another spin-off cereal. This came a long time after the release of 2010’s disappointing Marshmallow Pebbles. Those would’ve been better if they were Marshmallow FRUITY Pebbles, but instead they failed because they offered a weird tasting vanilla/graham flavor pebble.

Giving into temptation is what the song is about and it’s exactly what I did when I was at Shop-Rite the other night. I bought a box of Pebbles Boulders. Why, Why, Why did I do this? Why is it that I continuously fall for limited release food gimmicks? Slap “For a Limited Time” or “Limited edition” and my curiosity gets the better of me. Most times I think to myself “This flavor is probably so incredible that they would sell out of it so fast so they could only produce limited quantities…NEED TO BUY.” We all know that limited edition cereals are rarely as good as their original counterparts, but somehow I fall for them anyway knowing they will most likely SUCK!

With a flavor such as stone age caramel apple, I thought it sounded original enough that it could be good. I thought about how many cereals have been apple flavored aside from Apple Jacks and Apple Cinnamon Cheerios, and there hasn’t been too many, at least on my local store shelves. In the end, I brought home the Boulders and tried a bowl. It’s hard to believe just how heinous the flavor is. They taste like ass, ketchup, and caramel apples all smashed up in a dirty gym sock. Apologies to the food flavor innovator who formulated this one. It’s too bad because Boulders is a great name for a spin-off Fruity Pebbles. And Fred Flintstone looked so convincing of their deliciousness on the front of the box.

On a side note, ever since I was a kid I have been continually disappointed by cereals, especially limited editions. I know many of you remember the Batman cereal that came out after the 1989 Batman movie. That was just Captain Crunch in bat-shapes! Then the Ghostbusters and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cereals both failed to impress me, but with further forced consumption I grew more fond of them. Not having that instant love affair with a certain cereal meant that they really weren’t that impressive. Gone are the days of my favorite cereals ever: Strawberry Shortcake (yes I’m a dude), Smurfberry Crunch, E.T, and C3P0’s. Cereal companies would make a TON of people happy if they dug up the recipes for these and re-released them. Permanently.

Rescued Marshmallows Swim to Freedom

If last weekend’s kitchen disaster was any indication, I can’t imagine what’s going to happen this weekend. Let’s recap. Saturday morning I was still on a high from seeing Halloween, and the sun was shining. I woke up and took a few half full cereal boxes out to see if I could make some room. I broke out some Crunchberries and a box of Franken Berry.

I really despise Frankenberry. I know, I know, its sacrilegious. It’s just one of those cereals that always enticed me in the store and when I actually bring them home and start eating them I wonder why I keep buying them every year. The same thing happens with Boo Berry except with a deeper level of abhorrence. I’m just mesmerized by the packaging and the art on the box. The characters from that particular General Mills line of cereals are the best but the taste of Count Chocula is the only one that actually lives up to it’s reputation.

Right now I’m just thinking of how cool it is that we have a classic line of cereal that’s based on monsters. I’m very character oriented and I appreciate silly advertising mascots such as the Burger King, Noid, and of course Mrs. Butterworth’s especially when she’s coming alive informing me of how thick she is and telling me that I should pour her on my waffles. Breakfast food mascots have always rocked and they were a major part of my childhood. But all praise aside I need to get back to bashing the awful Frankeberry. How can a cereal that looks so cool taste so horrible? I suppose it’s a bit suspect that even as a child I was attracted to a cereal that was pink. That can’t be the reason for it sucking so much because Strawberry Shortcake Cereal was undeniably the greatest cereal ever invented and it was awarded the medal of honor for cereals by God. After he tasted it he personally spat in Purple Pie Man’s face and said to him that if he didn’t rebut Strawberry Shortcake’s cereal supremacy with a grape version of his own then his Pie Tin Palace would be foreclosed on and the land would be used as a golf course. But that’s just particulars, I heard it was messy trial – Pie EVERYWHERE.

To conclude this bumper car crash of an entry, I wound up rummaging through the box of Frankeberry extracting every luscious dried marshmallow that was left in the box and dropping them into my happy bowl of Crunchberries. It was a sensational breakfast event for me. I broke all breakfast rules and had my awesome little marshmallows swim to freedom. This moment would only be trumped if I saw the return of one of the following:

1) Strawberry Shortcake Cereal
2) Oops! All Berries
2) Smurfberry Crunch
3) C3Po’s
4) E.T cereal
5) Pac-Man Cereal
6) Rocky Road Cereal

Apparently this site sells boxes of Cereal Marshmallows only…not Cereal with Marshmallows…just the cereal-style marshmallows in a box. That’s pretty awesome. Hmm…tomorrow’s pay day. Just Got Paid…Friday Night…Marshmallow Huntin‘…Feelin‘ Right.