Monster Mania Con 11 at Crowne Plaza, Cherry Hill New Jersey 8/23/08

Whenever a Horror or Pop Culture convention rolls through town I always wind up missing it. I used to make it an event and go with my Dad every year but as I got older and actually started working full time, the weekend became a time to cram everything in that I neglect during the week. Even though weekends are busy, I’m realizing life is too short and I should be doing things that I enjoy. If going to a concert is the best way for me to spend my hard earned cash, then blowing the rest of it at a convention is a close runner up. In fact, not only did I make it to a convention this weekend, but as soon as I got back from my near hour drive I was off to Crue Fest at the PNC Bank Arts Center. Talk about a jam packed day of pop culture!

Chiller Theatre is the most well known Horror & Nostalgia show in the Tri-State area. It attracts a slew of actors, musicians, and personalities from horror movies and pop culture. Another convention that has made a big name for itself in the past several years is Monster Mania. Monster Mania took place at the Crowne Plaza in Cherry Hill and featured Robert Englund, A Lost Boys Reunion, and a Halloween Reunion.

Getting overwhelmed at one of these shows is ridiculously easy. If you’ve never been to one I’d actually advise you to NOT bring too much cash because you WILL unload it ALL! There’s so many vendors and sellers that have copious amounts of “stuff.” It all happens to be “stuff” that you NEED! From obscure bootleg horror movies to rare action figures and magazines, you will find it all at a convention. It’s almost like a flea market except it only sells the coolest crap. When walking around one of these events you might forget eBay ever existed because everything you ever wanted, and everything you didn’t even realize you wanted is all there spread out in the hotel’s convention centers. And oh…did I mention the celebs? Ok, we’re not talking A-listers like George Clooney but people who are much closer to our hearts. You might want to take your picture with Freddy Krueger himself, Robert Englund. He’s such a cool guy that he’ll put the glove on and ham it up as Freddy in your picture. That’s a photo op that you’ll tell people about for the rest of your life! Adam West did a similar thing for me also. The personalities that appear at these events are usually people who love to interact with their fans.

The real grabber for me, aside from The Two Coreys, was Danielle Harris. I spent most of my life having a major crush on her. One of the main reasons is because I used to watch the Halloween 4 and 5 and I related to her since we were almost the same age. I remained a fan through the movies that followed although they weren’t big budget films nor were they easy to find. The overlooked Killer Bud actually became one of my favorites. Who knew that she’d have such a resurgence with Rob Zombie’s Halloween? When I found out that she would be coming back for the Zombie version I turned into a smitten little bitch all over again. I was waiting for her name to appear on the guest list at one of these horror conventions and sure enough, she was signed on to appear at Monster Mania along with some of the other stars of the Halloween series.

When I met her, I told Danielle that I brought her a Sexy Armpit T-Shirt, which was based off my blog. She actually said that it was really cool because she wears shirts people give her alot and the tank she was wearing was actually from a fan also. Danielle was cool enough to take a picture with me holding the shirt.

I never thought I’d say that I got to meet Corey Haim and Corey Feldman considering that I’ve seen basically all of their movies collectively. That’s a difficult task since there’s so many films that they’ve done which no one’s ever heard of. I haven’t just seen those, I own them. That’s how much of a dork I am. If you grew up in the ’80s and were young enough to think these guys were cool then you know what I mean. Heck, anyone who was always on the cover of Bop and Teen Beat were considered cool. It didn’t matter if you were a guy or a girl, you appreciated that crew. If it was Nicole Eggert or Alyssa Milano, or The Two Corey’s it was almost a prerequisite to revere them. If not, then you probably weren’t the right age. All I know is, their movies were all anyone my age talked about for a few years. Then it all got weird. Just like with Danielle Harris, I remained a fan.

Getting to meet The Two Corey’s was possibly the closest thing to surreal as it gets. For a kid who knows all their lines to their movies and used to mimic the things they did, I still can’t believe that I was talking to them face to face. I wasn’t really excited though, it was more weird than anything. I almost wet my pants when I met Nikki Sixx from Motley Crue but meeting The Two Corey’s just made me feel like I was having an outer body experience. I guess the possibility of meeting them never even crossed my mind.

I can’t say it was a let down, but Haim is out of his mind and Feldman is kind of a dick. Suzie just liked to horn in on Feldman’s every word and interaction. She was noticeably agitated that I was ignoring her and talking it up with her husband who’s actually talented. Thanks Yoko. I bet The Two Corey’s would still be on the air if it weren’t for you! I don’t give a crap if you were in Playboy! You’re mooching off the fame of one part of The Corey’s. Now that’s pretty much sabotaging yourself.

It was definitely hard to come up with something to say to these two. I knew I’d mention one of my favorite Feldman roles but Haim seemed so drugged up that he wasn’t even making much sense. Perhaps it’s true that all the years of drugs actually did fuck him up so bad that he has a major slur. Who knows. All I know is Haim told the kid before me in line that he was “very close to getting Robin.” That meant that he was in the contention for the role of Robin in the Batman film franchise. As far as I know there’s no plans for Robin in future Batman films AT ALL, so maybe I could get the role of Nightwing if I take whatever pills he had in his system!

As for Feldman, I tried to throw him a joke but he wasn’t too receptive. You would think he’d appreciate that some guy respects his work so much that he remembers a minor role he had from 1988 (Ricky Butler from “The ‘burbs”). I didn’t want to be like everyone else and talk about The Goonies. In fact, alot of the people were pulling the exact thing that he hated by asking him to say certain lines from some of his movies. That is kind of rude in a way because he’s not a sideshow, at least show him that much respect. I think I might react the way he did if I was put on the spot like that. The girl before me asked him to say a certain line from one of his films and he got noticeably perturbed and said “c’mon that was 20 years ago.” Damn these guys are bitter aren’t they?

I don’t think there’s such thing as a child star curse. I think it’s that certain people just can’t cope with not having fame. Fame provides them with self worth and that’s the unhealthy part. Who knows, they may not turn to drugs or create shitty bands like The Truth Movement if they truly loved themselves. Regardless of seeing how fucked up they really are, it was cool to meet them and I’ll never abandon their movies!

How can I forget to mention what I bought at Monster Mania? I picked up a fantastic Toxic Avenger box set at the Troma Films table. I’ve been trying to track down the complete set of Toxie films and I wanted to make sure that they had the ENTIRE animated series included as well. This box set has it all so I was happy to plunk down the cash for it, otherwise it would sit on my amazon wishlist forever.

Among all the fanboys and girls and just plain horror freaks, I noticed a lot of awesome tattoos. One nasty giantess wearing fishnets and an uncomfortably skimpy black number had a tattoo on her arm of David Bowie’s “Jareth” from Labyrinth. I would’ve commended her on it, but she scared the hell out of me and she was kinda gross! Luckily this girl was able to wash the bad taste out of my mouth:
She had a kickass JEM tattoo that I noticed from about 10 feet away! I went up to her like my usual psycho self and said “yo! cool Jem tattoo! Can I take a picture?” She must’ve thought I was a weirdo, but who cares! lol.

If you haven’t made it out to a convention, make sure you experience one. You’ll have alot of fun, see alot of cool stuff for sale, and possibly meet some of your idols! What’s up next? Chiller Theatre!

Too Hard on The Two Coreys

I sacrificed watching Entourage last night to check out A&E’s The Two Coreys. In sum, Haim is really dysfunctional and Feldman is totally whipped by his raspy voiced, domineering, vegetarian girlfriend. Watching them at a total opposite point in life than they were in the ‘80s actually makes me hope for the best for them. Haim talked to the audience about their “comeback” and sadly their second coming probably isn’t happening anytime soon. Hold on a second though, none of us thought Rocky could come back and stand a chance against Mason The Line Dixon now did we? Stranger things have happened in Hollywood especially from one half of the Frog Brothers and the guy with frosted hair who had a risqué Rob Lowe poster on his wall.

As I watched Transformers in the new AMC theaters in Linden, NJ I couldn’t help but feel like it reminded me of an ’80s movie. Not for any glaring reason but for a subtle vibe running through the film, after all it’s based off of an ’80s toy line. It definitely wasn’t blatant but consider the mainstream schlock that Michael Bay is typically responsible for. When making such generic blockbusters it’s not hard to make a movie that gives the impression that it could have been made in a different decade. The main reason why I got that ’80s vibe was surprisingly Shia LaBeouf’s kick-ass performance. You could pick up on his versatility and his comedic timing was dead on. Here’s where you’re all going to abruptly jerk your steering wheel to the right to dodge the oncoming unexpected comparison to yes…Corey Haim and Corey Feldman: the two guys that the entire world may tie back to. I’m in no way saying that we can compare a rising star like Shia LaBeouf, the guy who’s already starring in Indiana Jones 4, to “washed up” guys like the Two Coreys. What I am saying is that people should think twice before completely lambasting them.

So what, they got caught up with drugs and bad reality shows. They are human, and they just so happen to have been the same guys who probably would have been cast in Transformers if it was made into a live action movie in 1987. It might pain you to think about it, but it’s true. Nothing that LaBeouf did was new. We could have easily taken either of the Coreys circa 1987 and inserted them in that role and they would have been equally as comedic and considering inflation, equally as successful at the box office.

Perhaps they’ve had a run of bad luck, but America is never satisfied with the abundant amount of nostalgia that gets spat back out at them. Once you think you had it to the gills with the Surreal Life, Flavor of Love, and Scott Baio programming it’s time for more! Knock the Coreys all you want but clearly there is a demand for them. You might try to consider the impression that movies like License to Drive and The Lost Boys left on you. Let’s not forget movies like The Goonies, The Burbs, and Dream a little Dream. The Coreys were on magazines and wallpapered every girls bedroom at the time. And to the guys: don’t act like you didn’t think Corey Feldman was friggin hysterical in every movie he did. He was definitely a guy who we could all relate to. Think of him in Friday the 13th part 4. How many of us were exactly like that when we were young? How about Haim in License to Drive? It’s his best role and evokes very similar feelings we all had when we hit 17 and were about to hit the road with our new licenses. All I’m saying is back off already! The Two Coreys contribution to the world has been solidified a long time ago. If producers, advertisers, and public demand deem it necessary to supply us with another dose of the Coreys, then so be it!