THE SEXY ARMPIT HALLOWEEN SPECIAL 2017

Shit is crazy, yo. That’s about the best I could come up with for an opening line.

During previous Halloween seasons, I’ve been able to ramp up the lead-up to my Halloween Specials. I loved posting a production journal on here for at least one or two of them, but it wasn’t in the cards this time. This year, even though free time is basically non-existent, I still magically whipped up a special, with the help of my friends of course! I ran into a bunch of speed bumps on the way.

A whole script basically went into the trash. I wrote this pretty epic script that, once it was too late, I realized would be entirely too much to film. Not so much about the length, but even the logistics, locations, and money. Although I love the script and it had absolutely everything in it, I came to terms with the fact that I just couldn’t pull it off so late in the game. I swore I would write the script early in the year that way it would give us extra time to film, storyboard, and even block everything out like actual filmmakers. Wrote it early I did. Threw it away late I did as well. To say I was pissed off at myself for wasting so much time and effort was an understatement. Continue reading THE SEXY ARMPIT HALLOWEEN SPECIAL 2017

The Neighbors Nerdfest Number 1: Thanksgiving is for The Bird-Kersees

 photo neighborsnerdfest01_zpsbcf34107.jpg

One of the themes of Thanksgiving is sharing your leafed-out dining room table full of intricately prepared foods and adorned with crafty centerpieces the kids made at school with all of your family and friends, and the occasional drunk uncle or nomadic cousin who tends to show up randomly, but only if it’s a leap year. I’m not much of a cook, so this year I’m serving up some nerdery as a gesture of thanks to a show that’s been cancelled by ABC, The Neighbors. Unfortunately, if that nomadic cousin does stop by, the chair you usually leave open for him will be occupied this year, so he’s S.O.L.

It’s only been a few months since it’s cancellation was announced, but The Neighbors deserves much more reverence than it received initially. I’ve been meaning to come up with a way to properly memorialize this wonderful show, one of my favorites of the past few years, and I’ve finally figured it out.

This post marks the first installment of a recurring column dedicated to random episodes where I’ll point out some of my favorite stuff from each episode. This could include favorite quotes, gags, jokes, scenes, and basically anything I found amusing.

And now a very brief explanation on why I was inspired to start this column. The sharp writing and likable cast on The Neighbors had a lot to do with how I got so wrapped up in it. After the first couple of episodes aired, I wasn’t hooked, but that’s so typical of me. It wasn’t until I continued watching my buildup of DVR’d episodes that I really got where they were going with it. The creator and writer, Dan Fogelman, is a Jersey guy and he’s damn proud of it, hence the alien neighbors in New Jersey plotline. What’s not to like? Originally I thought that this theme had been done before, but this show is influenced by tropes from all kinds of classic shows with a nice hefty dose of sarcasm and relevant pop culture references that impressed the hell out of me.
Would I have been as in love with this show if it weren’t for the New Jersey setting? I can’t say the Jersey aspect makes a huge impact on the show, save for a few license plates and mall mentions, and it’s not like the kids from Jersey Shore live next door, they’re actual aliens. What really makes a huge impression is the cast whose chemistry is a dream come true for the production. The casting director has to be commended. It sounds preposterous, but all the main cast members make me laugh. No exaggeration, Jami Gertz is brilliant in this role and she’s never been properly complimented for her versatility. Plus, she’s still a hottie. I had such a crush on her when I was a kid. F*ckin’ STAR!
There’s a lot more I could say about the show, but this is supposed to be a recurring column, so I won’t blow my load of commentary prematurely.
The Weavers upgrade from an apartment in Bayonne, NJ to a town house elsewhere in New Jersey. They come to find out their neighbors are aliens who have inhabited their gated community and taken on human bodies until they can get back to their planet. The alien family, The Bird-Kersees, are all named after famous American sports figures. With that out of the way, HERE WE GO!
Here’s my favorite stuff from EPISODE 8 
“THANKSGIVING IS FOR THE BIRD-KERSEES”
Originally aired: November 14th 2012
The Weavers are trying to weasel their way out of having Marty’s parents over for Thanksgiving because they always ridicule him and disparage his wife Debbie for making shitty Turkey. Marty tells his parents that “The oven is broken” and they want to cancel.

 photo neighbors03_zpsffb79695.jpg

After Marty gets offended that his dad is insulting him and calling his new place a “condo,” he feels the need to prove to his parents that he has a nice new town home. Ultimately, he reneges and re-invites them only to find out that Debbie has invited their neighbors, the Bird-Kersees, over as well so they can experience their first Thanksgiving.

This episode solves mystery of the crop circles:

 photo neighbors02_zps2952bfd0.jpg
“We live in New Jersey I drive a mini van, I’m built for fine.” – Debbie Weaver (Jami Gertz)
Marty asks his Dad if he’d like to have a tour of the town house and his father looks around and replies, “I just took it, maybe a nice cold beer can take a tour of my mouth” – Marty’s Dad, Dominick is played superbly bitter by Stacy Keach.
 photo neighbors04_zps8fdc0f1c.jpg

“AWESOME, I always wanted to wear genocide!” – Amber Weaver in reply to receiving the nifty homemade Thanksgiving sweater that her grandmother knitted for her

 photo neighbors06_zpsb6eb02f3.jpg 

Abby, The Weavers poor daughter astonished and disgusted expression upon seeing the turkey sweater her grandma gave her:

 photo neighbors05_zps6fb93fed.jpg

The kids then take kitchen utensils and beat the hell out of the evil sweater: “We have to kill the sweater!”
“She’s in the car pouting and you’re eating Meersh-mal-ow out of a bag.” – Reggie Jackson’s pronouncing Marshmallows in the most awesomely wrong way possible.
 photo neighbors07_zpsa8c2dcc4.jpg

“Thanksgiving is HELL. The only good parts are the day before when everything is possible and the day after when everyone goes home. In between it’s just a feast of self loathing and gluttony with a side of shame and all you can do is just hunker down and accept it.” – Debbie Weaver

“Better crack a window Theresa it’s a long way home and that turkey’s going right through me” – Marty’s Dad as he and his wife depart another disastrous Thanksgiving.

Production Blog 4: The Halloween Special 2014 Premieres FRIDAY!

 photo SAHSprodblog2014_zps1ebca4e8.jpg

In case you haven’t seen it around on social media, The Sexy Armpit Halloween Special hits YouTube on Friday night!

My previous production update included the colossal bummer of discovering that a full days worth of footage we shot didn’t come out. That’s the less technical way of putting it, and to keep this post from being 6 pages long, let’s leave it at that. Things are a lot more upbeat this time around and I’m psyched to announce that the Halloween special premieres on YouTube this FRIDAY night!

After having our schedule pushed out a week, I can still say that even after getting thrown off by a full week, I am planning on premiering the Halloween special a full week ahead of last years premiere date!

Aside from our schedule being thrown out of whack, I was equally as concerned that the video would surpass 30 minutes. Fortunately, it’s not 30 minutes, but it’s about as long as a TV sitcom. Now, this would all depend on the way you look at things, but some fans and friends of the site, and even I could lodge the argument that even if we did come in at 30 minutes, it would be 30 minutes of free, independent Halloween goodness that you won’t see anywhere else. Plus, it has some of our online cohorts in it as well. Most of the time I prefer 20 minutes to be the absolute maximum, but this time there’s more of an actual fleshed out storyline to get wrapped up in.

If you enjoyed our previous 2 Halloween specials, you won’t be disappointed! From a personal standpoint, I can’t yet comment on which one is my favorite until I watch the finished product on the big screen TV with friends and family to really capture the feel of it. As it stands now, last years Halloween special is my favorite, and possibly my favorite video I’ve ever made, but in only mere days I’ll find out if the 2014 installment edges it out.

For your Halloween enjoyment, I highly recommend you try to watch it on your TV, whether it be a Smart TV or if you have a PS3/4, XBox, Apple TV or Roku. I feel like Michael Cole berating you with information, but in this case, I have this feeling that your experience will be so much better than watching it on a tablet or a phone.

I thank you for reading along with the production updates, and I appreciate all of you who showed support on Twitter, IG, and Facebook! This whole thing, including my site, videos, and everything means so much more when I run into people who legitimately enjoy it. This year the special has been a lot more work and sucked up way more time than ever, but I am proud of it. It gives me the chance to present you with a little something extra during my favorite time of the year. Literally several quarts of sweat went into this video, and I also stained my face, pissed a lot of people off, burned the entire interior of my mouth including my tongue, almost had the cops called on me, and probably gained 7 lbs sitting on my ass writing and editing, but it was worth it.

A huge thanks go out to our small crew of friends (you know who you are) and loved ones who helped make this special happen. Whether you’re here with me driving all around New Jersey or you sent me a recorded part your part from across the country, I have nothing but immense appreciation for you.

I haven’t had much time to do anything except work on this film for nearly 2 months. It’s hard to imagine the amount of hours we’ve spent making this film, and to consider that I’ve spent almost triple the amount of hours editing it than we took to film it is pretty nuts. It seems totally preposterous, and even though it’s a silly YouTube video, it’s still incredible time consuming. Getting back to a normal existence will be welcome. Next year the special is going to be 4 minutes lol.

What’s next for me? Most important, I am going to enjoy the rest of October and get right back into the Halloween countdown. I’ll be reading your blogs as well. Come back soon for a few more cool posts for the countdown and at least another video, maybe two if I have enough horror and caffeine in me!

BE HERE FOR THE PREMIERE:

FRIDAY NIGHT 10.10.14
THE SEXY ARMPIT HALLOWEEN SPECIAL!

Production Blog 3: Halloween Special 2014, Catastrophe!

 photo SAHSprodblog2014_zps1ebca4e8.jpg

Now is the most logical time to impress upon you that you should check out our 1st and 2nd Halloween specials if you’ve never watched them. They do have aspects that will continue in our upcoming 3rd special, so watch ’em on your smart TV right before you view your next horror movie!

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iOhL19V-TfM][youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJ_R7kXLGZc]

Please subscribe and check out our other videos at: https://www.youtube.com/user/thesexyarmpit/videos

Back to the production update:

There was a lot of positivity and momentum going on in the last production update.

This one is more filled with rage and furious anger.
What I intended on being the final day of filming actually turned out to be disastrous, aside from an wondrous trip to Smashburger (had the chicken avocado club in case you were wondering!) It was no fault of the people involved like Mike, his wife Lauren, and Miss Sexy Armpit. It wasn’t my fault either, it was the camera. It seems to gave gone bye-bye. Not disappeared, but more accurately, gone to shit. It’s a realm that I don’t think it will ever return from.
Regardless, after I transferred the footage the computer, I watched it back…stupefied at what I was viewing. Each piece of footage was incredibly pixelated and distorted. If I was making a found footage movie that was recorded on a half broken GoPro camera, this would’ve been tops. I even tried converting the footage, but there was no fixing it since it seems to definitely be an issue within the camera itself.
So, the footage was fucked, and I felt that I was as well. Nothing like a catastrophe like this putting a huge damper on forward progress and what little motivation I had at that moment. I won’t feel fully in the game until we get back on track with the all the footage in the can.
Looking back, it makes this whole thing seem like more of a struggle, and it definitely IS. There’s no embellishing here. Considering there’s no budget, and a fair amount of arguing, the resentment of Jay factor is rising amongst those involved. The only thing I can promise is that when it’s done, the crew and YOU will be moderately entertained. That is what will redeem me here, I hope.
Fingers crossed, tomorrow we’ll complete our re-shoots with a brand new cam. After that it shouldn’t be too long before I can unleash The Halloween Special 2014 to all of you. 
As far as running time, we are looking at pushing 25-30 minutes and I previously mentioned in the last post, that is way too long in my view. But there’s too much good stuff that it’s not getting chopped to hell. Let’s face it, we don’t get a limited edition Scream Factory blu-ray so I’m gonna make this one count! 
Also, it’d be great if you want to incorporate it into an October horror-thon, like watching it before ohhh, say…Halloween 2 or something, of course that’s just a suggestion, I don’t mean you should actually do that, except no, I DO MEAN EXACTLY THAT. PLEASE.
Cursed footage. Raging tension. Heated arguments. This could be the basis of next years Halloween special. Bah, who am I kidding, I already have 5 ideas for it.
I truly appreciate everyone coming together to help out when this really brought down all of our moods. On a lighter note, I can report that this has been a real team effort. Lots of our online friends have pitched in to help, and even some surprise guests that went out of their way to make appearances both on camera and off. You know who you are, and you will all be thanked heavily in the credits! This aspect of it is really going to make this special the most monumental installment so far. My original vision for these was exactly that – a throwback. I’m all about including guest stars and hijinks much like some low budget TV special you might have seen in the ’70s.
Stay Tuned and thanks for hanging in there! I will not rest until it’s complete!