Purple Stuff Podcast Episode 21: HE-MANIA!

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LISTEN HERE!

Teela, Toys, and Trapjaw. Those are three of my favorite T’s, but for those who know me, talking is probably my fourth. What if all those concepts were combined? This week, it actually happens on The Purple Stuff Podcast, as Matt and I present our aural appreciation for one of the greatest action figure toy lines and cartoons of our childhood: Masters of the Universe.

Who wouldn’t want to listen to two grown men wax poetic about He-Man for 63 minutes? If that doesn’t seduce all the hot ladies out there I don’t know what will. We discuss everything from Slime Pits to Silver Screen Skeletor. From a behind the scenes standpoint, I’d been throwing out the idea for a Masters of the Unvierse themed show for a while and Matt was 100% on board with it, but we knew we didn’t want to half-ass it. We had to give it the proper time and attention. That time is NOW.

The stage has truly been set for HE-MANIA. I submit that even though the Masters of the Universe is a property so intertwined into ’80s culture, I feel like the forthcoming big screen adaptation will be huge. If they do it in the style of Game of Thrones, we could be on the verge of the second coming of MOTU! A guy can dream, can’t he? With director McG attached to the film AND the new Filmation style Club Grayskull figures in the midst of being released by Matty Collector, there’s no better time than now to celebrate our love of all things He-Man (and I never miss a chance to talk about She-Ra as well.) So, put your Power Sword into your sheath, hop onto your Sky-Sled, and join Matt and I for a mammoth MOTU podcast the size of Granamyr himself!

The Endless Slimer Saga

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It was quite a long drive for a Class 5, but it’s cool, road trips are my thing. Unfortunately, the passengers in my car on a recent lengthy adventure didn’t include that goofy bastard, DJ Qualls and Seann William Scott, it was even better. Once again I managed to coerce one Dinosaur Dracula into co-piloting a long drive down the stormy New Jersey highways with me. It was difficult to justify a hundred mile trip, but I made a convincing argument, or so I thought: “I want to get this Slimer toy I saw.” Pretty persuasive, right? I’m underselling for comedic purposes, there was actually a lot more intrigue involved. In fact, even Phillip Spade wouldn’t have been able to figure this one out.

After the flea market, we shot down the Turnpike. A quick stop at WaWa and we were off, discussing some of Matt’s latest flea market acquisitions during the ride. The rain scared away many of the vendors, but a few of them toughed it out specifically for us to pick up some old crap. From there, I was on a mission. I needed to catch a ghost. Continue reading The Endless Slimer Saga

Nerd Lunch Podcast 164: The 4th Chair Army of DOOM!

Some of our Internet cohorts and I banded together for a hostile takeover of the Nerd Lunch Podcast. Villainous guest host Shawn Robare from Branded in the ’80s, Jaime from ShezCrafti, Rondal Scott from Strange Kids Club and myself infiltrated the Nerd Lunch HQ and started recording our own show in place of CT, Pax, and Jeeg. Just like the super-villains we are, we pondered some of our most favorite cartoon villains, those villains who influenced our career as evildoers. I had fun doing this one, mostly because I had a chance to talk about two of my favorite topics: villains and cartoons. Just a note about my monologue in the beginning of the show: that was a joint effort between Shawn and I. Shawn wrote the thing and then I added a few things, changed some wording, and made it my own, but credit should be given to Shawn for that as well! Do you think the real Nerd Lunch crew will be able to get their show back? Take a listen to find out and let us know your favorite cartoon villains!

Ninja Turtles New Jersey Art and Thoughts On The New TMNT Movie

Artist and New Jersey lover Scott Modrzynski of Mojo’s Work, has quite and interesting life story. You can check it out for yourself, but he’s got a ton of love and respect for New Jersey AND The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, two forces combined and strikingly illustrated in his TMNT/New Jersey art featured here. What a killer combo from Scott! He’s got so much more at his site with his NJ Badass series which are mash-ups of our state AND characters like Deadpool, Scooby Doo, Mario & Luigi, Superman, and Spiderman just to name a few! Now, onto my thoughts on the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie, in theaters now.

Don’t call this a comeback. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles have been here for years and haven’t really ever gone away. Nickelodeon grabbing full rights to the property a few years ago has been a dream for fans. Since the latest cartoon series premiered, and now the new feature film is hitting theaters, we’re in the midst of Turtle fever all over again with new toys, special edition sodas and perhaps the most logical, pizza tie-ins.

Michael Bay has modified a few details of the Turtles here and there, most notably, the look of our beloved pizza devourin’, Foot Clan fightin’ Turtles. What scares me is that regardless of what true die-hard Turtles fans feel about this film, if it does big business at the box office, which, from a curiosity standpoint it’s basically guaranteed to, Bay’s alterations will probably stick around for the long run.

Very early on, well before critics actually saw this film, I was put off by promotional photos and rumors. Now that people are finally seeing it and tweeting such flat, lackluster feedback about the movie, I’m even less compelled to go to the theater to see it. I can wait for this one to hit Redbox. Meanwhile, I’ll watch my DVDs of the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film from 1990 which remains one of the best movies of the superhero genre as well as The Secret of the Ooze which is still badass too!

I remember seeing the 1990 original in the theater as well as the sequel, and I enjoyed both films immensely. The only minor issue I had with the original was the casting of April O’Neil. From a performance standpoint I had no complaints about Judith Hoag, but I couldn’t help feeling that there was a more appropriate actress for the role.

At the time, the ’80s were still lingering around and a logical choice for April would’ve been an actress who starred in one of the quintessential kids movies from the ’80s. I always felt that Jersey’s own, Kerri Green, who played Andi in The Goonies, would’ve been an awesome April O’Neil. If anything, she would’ve embodied the cartoon April perfectly. Think about it. This leads me to the hotly debated issue of Megan Fox. Stunt casting at its best.

Having Angelina Jolie shoved down our throats for so many years was always a similar topic of discussion for me. I was never so crazy-obsessed with Jolie from a physical standpoint nor was I ever seduced by any of her films. Conversely, Megan Fox is super hot and it’s a near fact that her acting ability is not on par with other actresses of her age range, but admiring her (not her wacky thumbs) might be the lone reason for me eventually giving Ninja Turtles a watch.  

Admittedly, I was even a fan of TVs The Next Mutation when it first aired, mainly because it was cool to see a live action offshoot of the TMNT movies, no matter how Power Rangers-esque it was. Judging by what I’ve seen and heard about the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film, I might just be better off watching my bootlegs of The Next Mutation this weekend!

Head over to our friend The Sewer Den to read his expert opinion on the 2014 Ninja Turtles film:
http://www.thesewerden.com/2014/08/tmnt-2014-movie-review.html

NJ T-Shirt Tuesday 111: Shirt Tales and Six Flags

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Pammy, Rick, and Tyg from The Shirt Tales riding the Log Flume on this Six Flags t-shirt
Remember The Shirt Tales? A lot of the ’70s and ’80s kids and nostalgia freaks out there definitely do. If you don’t remember them, they were a group of animals who were cute to an absurd degree and their thoughts would materialize in illuminated words right on their t-shirts. Although the Shirt Tales were only around for a couple of TV seasons (1982-1984), they had a slightly longer life on the front of Hallmark greeting cards and various other tie-ins, one of which we’ll look at in this post.

In their own Hanna-Barbera cartoon show, the gang fought crime and they even had their own little Batcave-type headquarters. I tried to jog my own memory by watching an episode on YouTube called The Big Foot Incident. Memories started rushing back, but I didn’t remember much about the cool set of villains who resembled bumbling versions of the Universal Monsters. The ring leader (Mesmo? Not very original) could’ve been a horror host and his lair was basically a haunted mansion that was constantly being showered with frequent lighting bolts (awesome). This all seemed very uncharacteristic for a bunch of furry and lovable little creatures who were created to sell Hallmark cards.

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If you were to associate cartoon characters with Six Flags Great Adventure here in New Jersey, Looney Tunes would immediately come to mind, but there’s proof right here that there was a brief time when The Shirt Tales reigned at Six Flags! According to the Great Adventure History site, in 1984, the kiddie kingdom area was renamed Shirt Tales Land and the characters would come out and greet kids. This only last for one season until getting taken over by the Looney Tunes.

The above photo is from the exact period of time when the Shirt Tales were popular in the early ’80s. Back then, they incorporated all their locations onto one t-shirt so they didn’t have to print up separate shirts for each location, so that explains why Great Adventure is listed at the bottom. Fortunately though, it stands out the most since it’s highlighted in yellow.

This is ’80s nostalgia at its best. Why do I say that? Well, I actually scanned this photo in myself and it’s of my best friend who I’ve known since I was in pre-school. I had the photo because not too long ago, I made a slideshow for his birthday of old photos that his mom was nice enough to gather up for me. These included some real classics and I scanned them all in. I kept this one on the hard drive because I knew that somewhere down the line I would want to bring it up here at The Sexy Armpit. It was a double whammy!

In the past several years I felt that the characters that get licensed out for use in marketing and merch for Six Flags G.A should be capitalized on more. I hate seeing the DC Universe and the Looney Tunes not being exploited to their fullest, but it probably has a lot to do with the fact that the park is no longer owned and operated by Warner Brothers, which it was at one time.

I obviously have a huge affinity for Six Flags nostalgia, but it’s merely a coincidence that the last installment of T-Shirt Tuesday featured a Six Flags tee as well. Hell, I’m not opposed to doing more either, so if you know of any vintage Six Flags tees/or you have old photos of you wearing one, let me know about them!

New Jersey’s Great Pop Culture Moments Vol.79: Ghostbusters 2 Again!

Comic panels from NOW Comics Ghostbusters 2 Adaptation and scanned by www.GBFans.com

This post is actually a sequel to an early installment of NJ’s Great Pop Culture Moments from way back in 2008. Vol.19 is all about the actual film reference and you can check it out right here: http://thesexyarmpit.blogspot.com/2008/11/new-jerseys-great-pop-culture-moments_19.html

For all the negative feedback it sustains, I still feel that Ghostbusters 2 is an entertaining sequel. That certainly seems to be an unpopular opinion though. If you can’t get down with the fact that the the boys in gray came inside the Statue of Liberty and sprayed their ectoplasm all over her insides, thereby getting her suitably riled up, enough for her to walk through the Hudson River to help defeat one seriously ugly Carpathian, who coincidentally materialized out of a rare painting, then you’ve got no sense of humor. It’s obvious that I’m a big fan of the sequel, but what I found surprising is that I’ve never read its comic adaptation.

Paramus, NJ mentioned on Peter Venkman’s World of the Psychic 

When clicking around GhostbustersFans.com, I realized they had the 3-part adaptation of Ghostbusters 2 from NOW Comics scanned in and available to read. Nowadays, NOW Comics is no more, but, as a kid, I was very familiar with the publisher because I collected The Green Hornet, Ghostbusters, and The Terminator. Their Ghostbusters line was based off the animated Real Ghostbusters since that was the version they had the license for. NOW did an excellent job capturing the essence of the cartoon. I remember owning several issues of it, but I never realized this 3-part adaptation even existed.

Adapting Ghostbusters 2 into a Real Ghostbusters comic is an odd, yet awesome idea. There were always callbacks to the first Ghostbusters film throughout the cartoon series, and when those episodes aired I thought it was the coolest thing. One thing is for sure, if you were around when the RGB was first on TV, you know it was a bit strange and confusing to see various character changes and other minor differences from the live action movie. Minor alterations like hair color were by no means bad choices, but, even then we knew something was up. Back then, no one explained to us kids why Egon or Janine looked different from the live action movie and the whole team wore their own color jumpsuits. As I think about it, it was probably to differentiate their action figures.

After reading the 3-parter, I realized there were a few scenes that were not included in the movie. Since it was based on the movie script, many bits of dialogue don’t coincide with what is heard in the movie. I attribute a lot of that to Bill Murray ad-libbing, and I’m grateful for it. For instance, they didn’t want to print the word SHIT when Peter Venkman is on the stand in the court room scene, so the line in the comic winds up to be “…IT happens and somebody has to deal with it.” In other panels, we also get to see how the Ghostbusters crew got let out of the mental institution as well as when Ray, momentarily possessed by Vigo, drives recklessly in the Ecto 1-A, nearly killing his fellow Ghostbusters.

The style of the characters is exactly how you remember them from the cartoon. This was thanks to Van Hise and Tobias, the same creative team who worked on Real Ghostbusters. Another aspect of this adaptation that makes it unique is the fact that Dana Barrett never appeared in the Real Ghostbusters cartoon so it’s pretty amazing to be able to see how she would look in that universe, directly from the team that worked on the show no less! I always found Barrett’s character to be a bit stuffy, and it’s not that her dialogue changed that much, but here she was drawn a bit more lively and interesting.

I remember NOW’s covers and pages were above average in comparison to some of the other books of the time and that actually brought another dimension to the characters. The colors were vibrant and I especially dug how the creepy Scoleri Brothers were inked and how deranged the kids at the birthday party that Ray and Winston appeared at were drawn.

Conflict arose when my inner voice actors began competing for my favor. Was I supposed to be using Bill Murray or Lorenzo Music/Dave Coulier? Should I have been using Dan Akroyd or Frank Welker for Ray Stantz? Ramis or Lamarche? Decisions decisions. I tried to stick with the Real Ghostbusters voices so I could make the experience as authentic as possible. That was the right move, although it’s hard not to hear Bill Murray explain the many subtle levels of dirty laundry.

ALF in A.C!

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For a pretty large chunk of the late ’80s, ALF merch was a goldmine. With four seasons of the prime time show and two animated spinoffs, an array of ALF stuff was abundant during that time. Whether you were strolling through Toys ‘R Us or a Hallmark store you’d see ALF everywhere. On the shelves were wise cracking plush toys, (I still have mine!) posters, pajamas, and video games. ALF’s likeness was licensed to everything.
ALF even had a couple of sets of his own trading cards. Aside from his “Bouillabase Ball” trading card series, in 1987, our little sarcastic pal also appeared in a 50 card set called U.S of ALF.
You’ve probably heard that ancient proverb “He who lets an alien life form give them a tour of the United States, winds up chasing feral cats.” I’ve never been able to get ALF’s actual opinion of the Jersey Shore, but he did make a stop here when he toured the country. Pictured above is the card commemorating the time when ALF visited Atlantic City, New Jersey.


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HALLOWEEN 2013: Prime Evil and Jem!

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After a couple of Halloweens in Jersey full of shitty weather, including a hurricane, I set out to make this year’s Halloween more of a success. It doesn’t even matter what Miss Sexy Armpit and I wind up doing for Halloween, it’s more about the costumes for us. This year Halloween falls on a Thursday so most Halloween themed parties and masquerades happened last weekend. Adult Halloween activities usually involve alcohol in large quantities rather than tons of candy, but I kept my consumption to a minimum this time around, mainly because I was wearing a mask.

Whether you know me personally or you just enjoy reading the site, you know that I’m pretty serious about Halloween. Even before October arrives, I start looking at all the events and masqerades in our area and the costume making commences! Not since I was a kid have I actually purchased a costume at a store. I prefer to put together my costumes using my creativity. Miss Sexy Armpit and I tend to put a lot of time and effort into making our Halloween costumes. How do I decide on what I am going to be? Well, it’s 90% inspiration and 10% feasibility. If I’m overcome by a feeling about a character a couple of months prior to Halloween and pulling it off is within the realm of possibility, that’s how I arrive at my choice.

As a kid growing up in the ’80s, I loved villains. I still do. The 80’s had some of the best villains especially from cartoons. I was a fan of Real Ghostbusters, but I was also a huge fan of Filmation’s Ghostbusters. It confused a lot of my friends back then when we discussed Ghostbusters because you’d have to specify which one you were referring to. The thing with Filmation Ghostbusters is that it didn’t seem to have the same widespread appeal that Real Ghostbusters did, probably because it wasn’t connected to a blockbuster summer movie. It was popular for a short time, but I remember having the hardest time finding a Prime Evil figure (I still can’t find one unless I pay a fortune on eBay!).

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Prime Evil, the main villain, was so cool looking and he was my favorite part of the show. The fact that I have such great memories of the show and the character reminded me of something out of horror movie, Prime Evil was my choice for Halloween this year. He’s been on my mind for the past few years, but I didn’t think I could pull it off without looking too cheap. Intensifying my inspiration was the fact that Prime Evil was the most elusive figure to me as a kid. I rarely went crazy looking for a specific figure unless it was from LJN’s WWF line or later in the Kenner Batman Dark Knight Collection line. He’s the one that got away! My goal this year was to base the costume off of the action figure that I never owned.

Usually, Miss Sexy Armpit and I begin working on our costumes in early September, sometimes even late August. This gives us ample time in case we run into any unforeseen difficulties while creating the costumes. This year was no different.

One of the biggest challenges I faced was finding the right mask to use. Creating one myself wouldn’t have been the best idea because it would’ve looked like shit. Early in the summer I started scouring the Internet for online stores that had a proper mask that could work as Prime Evil mask. I finally found a couple on Amazon and ordered both.

Neither mask instilled me with any confidence that I’d be able to pull this off. One was latex that flapped around and got all bent up in transit and the other felt like it weighed about 40 lbs and hurt like hell when I put it on my face. The heavy one, which was basically a Terminator Series 800 mask, didn’t cover my entire head, but it did have a cool feature: red LED eyes! Actually the eye lights were pretty lame because they blinked incessantly which isn’t an attribute of Prime Evil’s. There was no mouth or nose holes either, so I was able to eliminate that one rather easily.

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Now, with the decision made on the mask, I began working on other aspects of the costume. At that point I didn’t worry about how I would doctor up the mask, I had a feeling I’d be able to bring it up to Prime Evil standards without too much difficulty and if I couldn’t it would just have to suffice.

In between working on her own JEM! costume, Miss Sexy Armpit lent her ingenuity to the creation of my costume. We picked up some red and orange material and cut it in a similar pattern as Prime Evil’s flowing red cape and gown. We used a picture of him I had on my iPad as a guide while cutting.

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Miss Sexy Armpit did such an awesome job with her JEM! costume. It was mostly homemade except for a few parts that were purchased. I picked up the wig for her and she worked her hair styling magic on it. With her dead-on balls accurate makeup job she looked truly outrageous!

One of the most important aspects of the Prime Evil costume is his pale yellow and sometimes neon skin. Fortunately, Green Man from Always Sunny made those second skin costumes super popular and it was easy to find a similar color to the one I needed. The only issue with that costume is that there’s obviously no eye, nose, or mouth holes, so I had Miss Sexy Armpit cut the face open. The “skin” is a main component to the costume because it pulls it all together. It really did give the impression that I had neon yellow skin.

As for the other details of the costume, I improvised. I found a reasonable long red cape with a big collar on a costume website. I don’t think it cost more than $20 bucks, which was great. As for the gloves, I found silver stretchy gloves that were probably meant for a woman to wear to some ritzy gala in the ’20s, but I got them because they were super cheap. When they arrived, I immediately cut the fingers off. I said “f*ck those fingers,” and bam, I had Prime Evil gloves. The mask took a few coats of acrylic paint. The yellow parts glowed in the dark too! Next I needed to create a fake oscilloscope for his mouth. I found a picture of Prime Evil online and opened it in Photoshop. I cropped and enlarged the sound wave in his mouth and printed it. I cut out a piece of cardboard that I bent on both sides. Then I taped the sound wave picture to the cardboard with black electrical tape. I finished it off by covering all the exposed cardboard with the black tape and pinning it to the mask. The red boots were actually repurposed yellow boots from my Kick Buttowski costume in 2011 that I spray painted red. Last but not least, a little black makeup around my eyes and my costume was complete!

Ultimately, our costumes were hits. Wearing the mask throughout the night proved to be quite a challenge, but provided much comic relief. I had to drink from a straw the whole night. This year’s outing was medicore at best and it definitely wasn’t the fault of our company though. We might as well throw a party at our place because we usually wind up having a better time just taking pictures, having a few drinks, and bullshitting before going out. I wasn’t able to eat with the mask on so I was starving by the end of the night. The best part of the outing was heading over to Hooters for a late night snack. By that time I had to take all my Prime Evil gear off because I wanted to eat without sucking my buffalo chicken sandwich through a straw. How the hell did Prime Evil eat? I wondered that while wolfing down my food. I didn’t really think that part through!

New Jersey’s Great Pop Culture Moments 75: The Super Friends!

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After popping in the Super Friends DVD “A Dangerous Fate,” I was surprised at how ridiculous some of the episodes were. When I was a kid, this show was my ultimate weekly cartoon viewing. It was certainly a different time for superheroes, but ever since extreme realism and darker themes took over the DC Universe, it’s hard to look at these old cartoons the same way. It sucks to say “old cartoons,” but it’s true, the Super Friends comprised my earliest Saturday mornings, and I have no regrets. I have most of the Super Friends official DVD releases, and once in a while I throw one in and watch a few episodes. It turns out that the episode I watched over the weekend had a little surprise for me.

“Elevator to Nowhere” from season 6 aired on September 27, 1980 and featured a team-up of Wonder Woman and The Atom. The events of this episode make it very clear that the Super Friends were easy marks and they allowed themselves to get scammed by villains all the time. If you’re a diabolical villain, luring any combination of Super Friends members into your lair or demonic device was not particularly difficult by any means and by that I mean it was like convincing a young child to calm down by giving them candy or balloons.

After hearing a message left on their emergency scanner, Wonder Woman and The Atom are “streaking” across the city in her invisible jet. They arrive at the lab of a scientist named Dr. Wells. (I wonder if that was Pamela Wells father?) The Atom was noticeably perturbed that he had to wake up in the middle of the night for this and he let Wells know about it. Why though? Isn’t he used to getting woken up in the middle of the night to save citizens from near disasters and fight off super-villains with his buddies?

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Washington Crossing the Delaware and finds those foreign spies 
Wonder Woman and The Atom in Trenton, NJ

Within about 30 seconds things get very TOP SECRET. And no, I’m not referring to the Val Kilmer movie. While in Dr. Well’s TOP SECRET underground lair, our heroes inadvertently waltz into a TOP SECRET time machine in the form of an elevator, which is still top secret thus far. Very coincidental that both happen to be top secret. This was nearly 20 years prior to Dr. Evil from Austin Powers mind you.

This is the moment where I was thinking “Wouldn’t it really be something if they end up in New Jersey somehow? Nah, that would never happen.” I just started getting a feeling. And sure enough, moments later, Wonder Woman pressed a button in the time elevator and accidentally activated it and sent them to Trenton, New Jersey in December of 1776 – the middle of the Revolutionary War. As you probably know, New Jersey was a major hub of activity during the war and General Washington spent much time in various places around the state.

Wonder Woman and her tiny pal are mistaken for foreign spies and arrested by the Continental Army – a fact that must’ve been conveniently overlooked in our history books. They are brought to General Washington so he could decide their fate and it’s here that The Atom gives him the idea that he’s going to be President. Just like the scene where Marty tells Goldie Wilson that he’s going to be Mayor of Hill Valley! At this point things get a little half assed. They get back to the elevator which sends them onto a Spanish galleon in the late 1600s where they meet a pirate, and then they encounter some dinosaurs as they head even further back to 70 million years BC to nab Wells.

Overall, this short episode is a pretty lame representation of the series. Perhaps it’s length limited it’s ability to be a really great parody of The Time Machine. All this talk of getting trapped in an elevator makes me think. I wish someone would make a Super Friends style parody of the 2010 film, Devil, using the DC heroes, now that would be pretty damn awesome.

New Jersey’s Great Pop Culture Moments 74: The Cannonball Run

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Check out the old NJ State Police Cruiser from The Cannonball Run (1981) !!

You may not remember this quick scene, but the cross country car race depicted in the 1981 comedy The Cannonball Run made a stop in New Jersey. In a humorous scene, incognito racer J.J McClure (Burt Reynolds) and mechanic Victor Prinzim (Dom DeLuise) are caught speeding at 120 miles in their ambulance when they are stopped by two New Jersey State Troopers.

Dr. Nikolas Van Helsing (Jack Elam) and the young photographer Pamela (Farrah Fawcett) are in the back of the ambulance. We assume that Dr. Van Helsing administered some sort of drug to Pam since she’s babbling and giggling as he formulates a tall tale to the police about her having cysts on her lungs that require urgent care in L.A, but only via a cross country drive, not a flight.

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J.J:
“Let me explain something to you, we have to get the senator’s wife to California in 72 hours,
do you understand what I’m saying?…We have to get the senator’s wife to California in 72 hours.”
VICTOR: 
“We’re very close”
NJ STATE TROOPER: 
“As long as you’re in New Jersey, I want you fellas to take it easy…you got that?”
VICTOR
“We sure do, thanks a lot”

NJ STATE TROOPER:
“I’m glad there’s no cupcakes like that in New Jersey”
NJ STATE TROOPER 2:
“You haven’t met my brother in law Ralph”